To be wary of making any further payments?

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I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

otherwise how will she keep good enough credit to keep this up?

If the friend has already taken out the credit, that isn't really relevant. The catalogue will simply continue to pursue to friend for the monthly repayments and if she defaults will then move to whatever their recoveries process is.

Since the purchases from you and others will be mixed together on her statements, perhaps she doesn't want you to see what else she's bought.

Either because it's embarrassing or because she's done the same for so many other people.

My money's on the fact that she's completely out of her depth from an accounting perspective and while it felt great to offer to help people get all the nice things they wanted initially, she's realised she's bitten off more than she can chew and is panicking and getting nasty because she's desperate and doesn't know what else to do.

It's an extreme example of what my DM always says: 'Never borrow, never lend; that's the way to lose a friend'.

www-moneyadviceservice-org-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/how-to-spot-a-loan-shark/amp?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCKAE%3D#aoh=15696604016157&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.moneyadviceservice.org.uk%2Fen%2Farticles%2Fhow-to-spot-a-loan-shark

How to spot a loan shark
A loan shark might:

offer little or no paperwork, such as a credit agreement or record of payments
refuse to give information, such as the interest rate or how much you owe
take items as security, such as passports, bank cards or driving licences
increase the debt or add additional charges at any time
refuse to allow you to settle your debt
get nasty - they might resort to intimidation, threats or violence.

Yes you need to take full responsibility here and work it out send her an amount and say that is what it is unless she shows proof

But as others have said it could easily be 2k

Catalogue? Is this thread from 1997?

If she’s ordered for multiple people, and now is being charged interest she’s probably realising this will be a nightmare to work out, I’m guessing this is why she’s reluctant to show you the statements. There won't be any clear audit trail of which is ‘your’ part of the interest and which is the ‘other’. If she’s behind on payments she could be getting hit with late fees too. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do on her behalf.
Your best bet is to continue as you have been and tell her when you think you’ve paid your bit. If you disagree you’ve got a problem but ultimately her problem is worse as it’s all in her name.

If they were delivered straight to your house then the delivery notice (invoice) would have been in the box with the list of everything ordered and prices. What did you do with those?

I'm really struggling to understand how you could ask for things to be ordered but not write down the prices. It makes no sense.

You need to send a very clear message to her and stop ignoring her.

"Hi X, this is all getting very complicated. I know I was an idiot by not adding up all my orders to get the total but that's done now. I cannot pay you anymore money until I know the total amount I owe you. I need to see the order confirmations for all of my items, so I can add up the total. I can then add up the total of what I have paid you. That will let us both see the outstanding amount. I will then pay this. If you provide proof of interest charges (as I don't know when interest started) I will also pay my portion of this. Please stop texting me to demand payments if you are not willing to show how much I actually owe."

Very basically, Op, you must know what the items cost & whether or not your monthly payments were enough to pay in full before any interest was added.

If not, who knows what might be left to pay?

@screamingvalenta

Your comment makes no sense. I am saying that the catalogue is already paid off. OP's "friend" is now profiting from the OP's payments.

I'm not disputing that that's possible, MrsElizabethShelby but what I'm saying is that once the friend has taken out the credit with the catalogue, her credit rating has no bearing on what follows. If the friend hadn't repaid the debt in full, it makes no difference - she would still owe the repayments to the catalogue, even if her credit rating had gone to zero in the meantime.

If the items were delivered directly to you it will show on her account.

I used to run a catalogue years and I could set up family and friends separately so when my statement came each month there was an overall one and then individual ones for each of my family/friends.

They could either pale payments direct themselves with a reference I gave them I could make a payments and allocate it to whichever person had paid it.

Even if she hadn't set it up like that, there's no reason why she couldn't sit with you with the statements (only 12?!) and highlight each item that you both agree was yours. Deduct what you've paid and you have the balance.

If it was interest free for 12 months and it's only been a year now there is no interest to add YET. So you could either pay the balance off or calculate interest from now.

The fact she's unwilling to go through the statements with you screams volumes - sounds to me like she may have been only paying the minimum amounts each month and keeping the rest rather than paying off what each person has actually paid her......

No good deed goes unpunished

@MrsElizabethShelby I'm not sure it will have been paid off. OP ordered an Apple Watch (£450 last year on catalogues, almost universally, according to the price checker things), and a laptop - even if it was only a £500 laptop, that's already £1k. She then ordered clothes and Christmas presents. She's only paid back £1k. So she's going to have some money left to pay, and she's outside of the interest free period, so interest will have been added. At 44.9%, which is what Littlewoods advertises today; that adds 50% of what she spent. If she spent £2k; that adds £1k in interest... so she could easily owe the "friend" another £2k.

But I'm with you that this seems an odd thing for friend to do and I'd be surprised if she's getting nothing out of it but doing it for a lot of people; unless she's regretting that a lot now!

I think she’s a loan shark rather than a friend who is as badly organised as you.

But if she honestly is just a friend who was doing you a favour, then I don’t see that she has any more obligation to give you “statements” than you do to be on top of it yourself. She’s not a bank.

But I don’t think that’s the case - I think she’s conning you.

As others have said, work out yourself what you owe. Don’t add assumed amounts for interest. You chose the items - so you know the catalogue. So you know the terms - be precise. There’s no shame if you need someone to help you with the maths - lots of people struggle with interest calculations. Speak to a friend, or CAB if you don’t know anyone.

Work out what you owe, and what you have paid back. Refuse to pay any more than the £100 per month already agreed until it is paid off. If her intimidating husband so much as looks at you in the street - let alone contacts you - contact the police for advice.

But in the first instance, work out what you spent. It’s impossible to say whether you’ve close to paid it off or not - a laptop can be £300 or £1000 (or more, but I’m guessing you didn’t go that high). Same with a smart watch - are we talking Apple?

It sounds to me like shes an agent for a catalogue company like Littlewoods or similar and will be getting commission on purchases friends make. If she is an agent then she should have proper records of what people have bought and who owes what. (And when I did it, back in the days of quill pens (!!) we gave the customers record cards).

I suspect that if you have bought the expensive things you mentioned plus sundry others that you do still owe money and that as well as interest bei g added she will be being hassled to make the payments to the company

If she has previously been ok, I would hazard a guess that she has put several "friends" in same situation as you, her debt has got out of hand and who owes what confused, husband probably only just realised and is angry.

The smart watch was 300. The laptop 200. Xmas presents max 500. Clothes max 300. Probably other stuff I've forgotten. So let's just say 2k max.

I've paid at least 1400 as just looked at bank statements. It's been less than 12 months so should be interest free?

I'm not sure why she thinks I still owe at least 2k.

I'm going to pay my usual 100 today to stop the stress. And then spend the next few days trying to write down every single item with cost and see if that helps make things clearer.

I'd be surprised if she's getting nothing out of it

It's possible the 'friend' would have got commission on the things she ordered for others.

Sitting on the fence here.
It is possible that the things you have ordered have added up to a higher amount than you may think and you still owe her money. Some things are more expensive in catalogues than the shops as you pay monthly.
It is possible she’s in a mess with her catalogue account and has been using your and others payments to off set hers,
It’s possible she hasn’t been paying her catalogue account at all.?
She can check her account to identify what you have bought and when and how much you have paid to date. It’s possible that some items have gone over the payment period and interest is being added.
Like ppl have said you need to all sit down and go through it, what you have ordered when, what you should have paid and when and for how long.

@anchordowndeepbreath.

No I don't mean that the OP has already paid what's owed, I mean that the loan shark has paid the balance in full before the interst free period ended thereby making money off the op by keeping the interest she claims is being added on by the catalogue.

So by your rough calculation, you owe her £600 assuming you are still within an interest free period - so it's reasonable to pay her the £100 for now, while you work out a more accurate summary of your debt.

@MrsElizabethShelby Ah sorry, I'm with you! That makes sense.

When did you place the order OP? You've said you've made over 12 payments and it was more than a year ago in some places and then that it hasn't been a year yet in others.

I'm sorry but if I was your friend and had done you a favour of allowing you to use my credit to buy some (a lot of) purchases, then why should it be me that trawls back through loads of statements to try and work out what was yours? I think you need to take the heat and work it out as best you can and if she doesn't agree, as others suggested, she can prove otherwise.

Just be careful though, I bet it's way more than you remember.

I'm sorry but if I was your friend and had done you a favour of allowing you to use my credit to buy some (a lot of) purchases, then why should it be me that trawls back through loads of statements to try and work out what was yours?

Because good friends help each other and would arrange to meet for a coffee and do it together.