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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be wary of making any further payments?

570 replies

Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 08:46

I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
rosedream · 28/09/2019 10:17

I have a feeling this is more than what do you owe.
It does sound like she is trying to make a profit on this. Why otherwise would she offer this service when anyone can get a catalogue and order stuff on tick.
You must make a list of what you bought. Look up APR on payment on the catalogue and how much you e paid.
Get all your facts straight.
The line when you said she will get her H to step in is a huge red flag and I fear this is not going to be straight forward.

WaterSheep · 28/09/2019 10:18

then why should it be me that trawls back through loads of statements to try and work out what was yours?

Op has said she would be willing to go through the statements and highlight her items. However, she can't do this if the friend won't allow her to see them.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 10:19

I've made the payment and tried to call her but no answer. Sent a text letting her know have transfered the money and asking can we meet for a coffee so can work out what's left to pay. She's replied saying she's busy now sorry.

I'll just keep making payments and in the meantime try and work it all out.

All items were ordered at various stages. So yes it's over 12 months just. But the first items were paid off first interest free. I've also paid more some months.

I'll just keep paying until I am one hundred percent sure I have covered everything I owe. Including any interest if applicable.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 28/09/2019 10:20

So for clothes and presents, you’re already saying “max”, because you don’t know.

And you say there is other stuff you’ve forgotten.

I guarantee you that you owe more than you think.

She may be trying to scam you, but you need to take a big lesson here in actually staying aware of what you’re spending.

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 10:20

anyone can get a catalogue and order stuff on tick

They can't if they have a poor credit history.

Ellisandra · 28/09/2019 10:20

And what’s your plan for being 100% sure?

Oakmaiden · 28/09/2019 10:21

You don't really need to see her statements. They are none of your business. All you really need (as it is less than 12 months) is a complete list of what you purchased and how much it cost. You already know how much you have paid back.

How did you make the orders? Did you email a list to her? Text her? Sit down at a computer and just order on her account? Hopefully you have a record SOMEWHERE of what you ordered - if you don't then the best thing to do would be to make a list to the best of your recollection - looking up the prices you can find - and email it to her, saying you are not sure it is complete and would be grateful if she could alter prices/add items you have forgotten as necessary before returning the list to you. Then use this as a balance sheet to work out where you are.

As others have said - it is possible that she is trying to benefit from you, but it is far more likely she is completely out of her depth and has as little idea as you do about how the balances stand. It is also possible she hasn't been using your money to pay off the account - but if that is true it really isn't any of your business - you still need to pay for the things you have had, and any interest that would be accruing for the amounts you have not yet paid.

Original poster
Abcdefgfedcba · 28/09/2019 10:22

To add all items and add interest I guess. Though there should be no interest, how can I be fully certain there isn't?

OP posts:
TiddyTid · 28/09/2019 10:23

Is she paying the catalogue company? Is this why she's not showing you statements?

There are a few of you doing this. Sounds very fishy.

Todaythiscouldbe · 28/09/2019 10:24

If you ordered 2k worth of items, although I suspect it's actually more, then £100 a month won't clear them in the 12 month interest free period which means interest for the whole amount is added. I'm not sure why you think you can stop making payments?

cantfindname · 28/09/2019 10:25

Been there, done that. And was caught in exactly the same way. I KNEW I had finished paying for an item but my "friend" swore blind I hadn't and wanted 3 more payments.

The moral is, don't trust anyone no matter how much of a friend you think they are, get it all written down and signed for by the agent.

Chocolatelover45 · 28/09/2019 10:29

I can't believe anyone would get into 2000 worth of debt for completely unnecessary items with no idea how long it will take to pay back or what the interest rate is. Then to do it through a friend as well.
If you have 100 to spare each month you could just have bought things outright from a cheaper source and saved yourself a fortune and a load of aggro

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 10:29

It sounds complicated, with the different things losing their interest free status at different times, OP. I think the recommendations upthread of CAB and Money Advice Service are going to be what you need.

The problem you have with the interest free period expiring at different times on different items is that you don't know what your monthly minimum payments went towards paying off - they might have been taken from the most recent purchases, rather than those closest to expiry, especially if your 'friend' was making lump sum payments combining the monthly payments of several debtors.

TiddyTid · 28/09/2019 10:31

My DH thinks she's ripping the catalogue company off and spending the money elsewhere.

He said if you feel threatened call the police.

PhilCornwall1 · 28/09/2019 10:31

Do you not know exactly what you ordered and how much and what you have paid off on each item?

You need her to give a full breakdown of what you owe, and go from there. If she can't do that, she is in a mess too.

Chocolatelover45 · 28/09/2019 10:32

*Been there, done that. And was caught in exactly the same way. I KNEW I had finished paying for an item but my "friend" swore blind I hadn't and wanted 3 more payments.

The moral is, don't trust anyone no matter how much of a friend you think they are, get it all written down and signed for by the agent.*

No, the moral is, don't get into debt unless buying a house or education! Just save up - if you can't save you probably can't afford to pay the debt either.

katewhinesalot · 28/09/2019 10:34

You can't just carry on paying. She'll still keep on asking. This sounds so dodgy. Ask CAB, they might be able to hep you word something to cover you legally should it come to it.

Ellisandra · 28/09/2019 10:34

But you just said some items were over 12 months, so there is potentially interest.

The sensible way to pay it off, is to pay all your money towards the items that are closest to going over the interest free period.

But if your £100 has been split £20 on the presents ordered over a year ago, and £20 on a laptop 6 months ago (etc) then you could still owe interest.

Catalogue companies have their own rules about how payments are allocated (it should be on the back of the statement). For example, with Very, I believe your payment does NOT go towards anything on “buy now pay later” unless you specifically click that on line.

So say you spent £500 in Jan on buy now pay later, and then 2 months later in Mar spent £400 not on that rule. You make £100 payment in Apr. That ALL goes to the new £400. So you may find you haven’t paid off much of the Jan £500 at all. Then a year later, sure you’ve repaid over £500 - but not all from the “but now pay later” item, and suddenly you’ve got a fuck ton of interest applied.

What catalogue is it?

underneaththeash · 28/09/2019 10:36

I wouldn't be paying for anything else either, I'd let her know now that you can't make next month's payment until you have a breakdown of costs.

It's an odd way to do things though. Just order it yourself next year.

starfishmummy · 28/09/2019 10:36

All items were ordered at various stages. So yes it's over 12 months just. But the first items were paid off first interest free. I've also paid more some months.

I dont think it works like that. The catalogue people will just keep adding things to the total and not look at it as if you have paid off whatever you bought first and nothing off the later things. So as far as they are concerned you will have just paid off a percentage of all the purchases, even the early ones so they can start charging interest.

MileyWiley · 28/09/2019 10:37

It will be the interest. You probably aren't even close to clearing what you owe, despite paying half of the original amount.

katewhinesalot · 28/09/2019 10:37

Is there any way you can find/borrow the money to pay off all outstanding debt to her once and for all within the interest free period. This could get nasty. Again see CAB for advice.

It sounds pre planned . Why would someone just offer this to lots of friends unless there was something in it for them - and a catch for the friends.

Lulualla · 28/09/2019 10:38

Why are you going to just keep paying? She's busy now. She won't be busy forever. Arrange a time and go through statements. Tell her that according to your sums, you are almost paid off but according to her, you owe £2k. Tell her because of this discrepancy, you won't pay more until you've gone over the statements.

Mary1935 · 28/09/2019 10:38

Hi OP you mentioned her checking her emails so you must have sent her emails for the items you ordered. Therefore they would be in your sent emails.
If she threatens you again I would clearly tell her you will contact the police.
Is it worth contacting the catalogue company and letting them know you have a dispute and how can it be resolved.
She’s ordered the items in your name, they have come to your address maybe the catalogue company can help you out with what you ordered, how much interest on those items if it wasn’t paid off in the interest free period.
I certainly wouldn’t pay until I had clear knowledge how much I owed.
Good luck

ScreamingValenta · 28/09/2019 10:39

Exactly, Ellisandra. It will be even more complicated if multiple people ordered different things at different times, all on the same account. The OP's monthly £100 might be being split amongst several different purchases, not just her own.