To be wary of making any further payments?

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I've been very stupid by not keeping a log of everything and am now in a real pickle.

A friend allowed me to purchase items on a catalogue in her name. This was various items over 12 months. I was not the only person, which means the payments made monthly onto the catalogue were for various peoples orders.

I stupidly didn't keep a record of what was bought and what was paid back.

I've asked a few times now for her to send me information of the total cost, along with payments made towards that. She keeps saying she will do this, but never does.

She's not messaging me up to 10 times a day saying I need to pay at least 100 per month because I owe her over 2k.

Looking at my bank statements I have already paid back over 1k.

I ordered clothing, kids Xmas presents last year, a smart watch, laptop.

Am I Being a terrible person to not want to keep putting money into her bank without seeing proof of how much I owe at least?

I'm worried that I'll end up paying money back indefinitely even after clearing the balance.

I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to buy things on the catalogue, but I just want a statement or something to show where I'm up to.

I now feel harassed and stressed by the constant texts. Should I just put more money into her bank?

In order to scare her, if you actually have a solicitor or know of one who could pretend they are acting for you, you could CC them for extra measure and she will see you have CCed a solicitor.

@SaraNade “know of one who could pretend they are acting for you”

Seriously?

Solicitors do not risk their professional registration pretending to represent their mates!

@Ellisandra If it's a simple cease and desist they can. Also, for all the woman knows, OP could have been going to go through the solicitor but changed her mind, found another one, etc etc.

“Further communication from you will be forwarded to my solicitor and the police.

Link to loanshark website posted above”

Even if she did bring legal action, there is nothing written anywhere that says it’s your debt. There is only proof that it is her debt.

@SarahNade what solicitor is going to say to their friend “oh just a cease and desist letter? Yeah - go on, cc me, I don’t mind allowing you to make it look like I am representing you, when I’m not”.

Delurking to say I think you should stay firm, Op. She is definitely playing you.

Asking if I was to pay the 200 and clear it or carry on paying per month the remaining balance of 850.

I thought she said you still owed around £2000? Why is it suddenly now 850?

"As the amounts you claim I owe keep changing I can no longer accept your word. I believe I have paid all debts, if I am wrong I am happy to pay anything still owing however I must have proof that this is the case. Please do not contact me again unless it is to provide itemised evidence of my purchases. Any other contact will be considered harrasment".

You need to send a final email, just as people on here are told by the police to do if then are being harrassed. You need proof that you have said "I no longer owe you anything, do not contact me unless you can prove otherwise." If she does carry on you would be justified in reporting her for harrassment, this will help that, as well as if this all goes to a civil court.

Definitely send one of the templates above, I would also add in the itemised list of everything you believe you purchased, the cost, and how much you have paid her in total. This lays it all out clearly then and shows that you aren’t just trying to pull a fast one. It then opens the dialogue for her to send her own list of what you purchased if she disagrees with yours. I bet she won’t though.

So she's willing to take a trip to your workplace but not send proof the money owed? She's committing fraud. You need to get an outside agency like the police or CAB involved ASAP. I'd say do that before you go to a solicitor, this is extortion not a simple case of debt.

She can’t take legal action if she can’t provide proof to you, let alone to a court!

You keep saying she'll hassle you if you respond, isn't that exactly what she's doing now? You NEED to send an email, the once few posts down was excellent, ignoring in this instance is not going to make her go away. I would put money on her never contacting you again once you've sent it.

Final email sent.

And she would be very up for visiting me at work yet not providing proof if she felt it would guilt me into handing over money.

She would probably do it with mindee kids in the car too!

Well if she does that, be sure to call Ofsted and describe the enrichment activities she’s providing!

I would contact the police op they can earn had to not harass you or come to your work

You see OP this is why I am saying you need to go to the police. Let her turn up at your office, then call the police. She is a confidence trickster.

Your work should protect you from her . I know if she tuned up at my work to discuss personal matters she would be escorted out by security. This is her last attempt at getting some final money off you . Stay strong I hope your coping ok with all this stress.

I'm glad you are sticking to your guns

My gut feeling on this is, she's not just a loan shark, she's also passing off stolen goods. If she had genuinely bought your items legitimately from Very, then she would have the info you ask for to hand or it would be very easy for her to get hold of, a lot less hassle for her than keep hassling your

The kind of language she is using ("just want to help you") is the same as what loan sharks use. Plus harassing you around payday, being vague about how much you owe etc.

You could consider anonymously reporting her, especially as she is doing this (extending credit as an unlicensed lender) to several people. These people will also have good advice about how to deal with her now you've decided you will stop paying.

www.stoploansharks.co.uk/

Sorry think link above is for England only but they might be able to point you to equivalent if you are in Scotland, Wales or NI

Honestly I would call the police now OP.

I really think she has been scamming you and you’ve probably over paid by a lot!

She does sound like a loan shark!

I hope your doing ok OP

This is such an awful situation! I have just read (a lot) of the messages.

Can I ask what started the pressure? If you were paying the agreed £100 per month then why all of a sudden has the mood changed? Had you missed payments?

I agree though not to pay anymore without some proof and plan and you have given notice of that. Have you sent all the numbers and workings that you have tried to work out?

I think she just got greedy and with Christmas coming fancied a bit of extra cash.

She told you you still owe her 2K. Then suddenly if you pay 200 she'll "write off" te other 850? Either she's really bad at maths or she is chancing her arm. I would use the 100 you usually pay her to seek advice from a solicitor. I would also contact Very and let them know she is acting as an agent and harassing people for money. They may not do anything about it, or they may suspend her account (although if she's "closing down the account" maybe someone else has already contacted them about her).

You have obviously paid what you owe. Which is why she is reluctant to pass on any details. She is chancing her arm with bully tactics. Go to a solicitor. Take their advice.

I think she has probably not been using the money the OP sent to pay off the catalog and got herself into a pickle. She seems quite disorganized with money. It’s going to be a tough Christmas for her, but not the OP’s fault.

It has taken me two
Hours to read the thread so im probably very behind but i agree with pp about contacting the police as she clearly is a loan shark. And ofsted as she is a registered childminder, and conning and harassing vulnerable parents.