To ask for cash instead of presents at kids party?

[HuntIdeas]

My twins are having a 5th birthday party next week and have 50 guests between them! I’m starting to freak out about the number of presents they will get and where to keep them in the house (plus all that extra plastic that will end up at the dump). WIBU to send a group WhatsApp message asking not to bring presents or to put a bit of cash in a card and I can take them to get something they choose? How could I word it?

Most guests are their new classmates (only started 3 weeks ago), so I don’t know the parents

I have no idea why anyone would think it’s preferable to give people gifts they neither want nor need. It’s mind boggling.

just say no presents.

At my kids school we do "Pound In a Card". It is a fantastic idea that benefits everyone. On the invite you write "£1 in a card only please" .And everyone coming who wants to bring a gift ( and remember gifts are optional after all) sellotapes a pound coin into a card. Easy, simple and inexpensive and the Birthday child probably ends up with a tenner or whatever to go and choose something nice. Everyone here knows about it and does it.

No more piles of wasteful tat. No more "having" to spend more than you want to. No more last minute panic buying.

OP I would write something like this

Presents are optional. If you would like to bring gifts for the twins please tape a £1 into their cards and they will have a lovely time spending them. More is not necessary.

OP I should have said hope the party goes well! 50! I wish I had your energy! x

Don't ask for cash. A side note saying something like
'Please don't feel obliged to bring presents, but if you do just the one please as the children are very happy to share. Thank you' This way you are being the opposite of a cheeky fucker, and will probably get one better quality present rather than two cheap plasticky bits. Win win

I'm sorry OP but I think that's abit cheeky, especially as you don't know some of the parents, and as you have twins some parents might not be able to afford giving to children money,

My SIL made a group chat to ask for "cash on all occasions for her children" rather then toys or clothes and I found that so cheeky her reason was "because the child might not like the toy or suit the clothes given" 😂😂

I would ask for no gifts rather then ask for cash.

For the last two years we've said no presents at DD's birthday parties.

Every single child has brought a present with them. Without fail.

Our strategy is to let DD open some of them and then squirrel the rest away. Some she gets throughout the year as treats. Others, if I'm totally honest, get re-gifted.

The waste and extravagance is mind blowing.

I agree to just saying “no gifts please” OR just give the gifts to charity. It is. It is coming up to Christmas and there are a lot of charity appeals for Christmas gifts for children who have none.

Don't ask for cash. It's so tacky. I think it's even tacky when people do it for weddings.

It makes it look like you couldn't afford the party. And if that's the case, don't have the party.

Oh wow, I would much rather pop a fiver in a card then go shopping for a 5yr olds birthday! But clearly in the minority so it's good to know what's not acceptable for the future!

It makes it look like you couldn't afford the party. And if that's the case, don't have the party.

That would be the last thing I would think. It’s a child’s party ffs, what a weird conclusion.

The waste and extravagance is mind blowing.

I know right?

Yet that’s what’s being advocated on here. I can’t fathom it.

It makes it look like you couldn't afford the party. And if that's the case, don't have the party.

And how on earth do you get that conclusion when the birthday child shows off their scooter/roller skates/zoo membership/whatever a couple of weeks later?

@Continentalmama Don’t rule it out completely. It took one conversation from a new parent for it to start at my kids old school and then one from me for it to start at DS’s new school. Once someone does it it seems to catch on quickly so it seems to spread quickly when it does.

Use this patchworkit.com/

You can just send guests the link and they can purchase items you've pre selected

@lyralalala I've got a couple of years yet till class parties are a thing so hopefully it will be much more mainstream by then as I don't think I would be brave enough to be the first!

Why not ask for a book or annual

No unless you go with the idea above about taping a pound into the card. I like that.

It’s much more sensible though. But it will be considered cheeky.

@Continentalmama Do what I did - mentioned to a couple of mums I knew quite well that a child in DS’s old school had had a £2 coin party. When their reactions were “what a great idea” I just said I thought so, but that I’d be worried how to word it, not want to offend people as his birthday is December so he’d have been to present parties before his own. They jumped on it and started it instead
Plus doing it that way without expressing an opinion gave me a chance to gauge their response before I said too much!

Just keep the presents received to re-gift or take them to the charity shop

Or better steal keep for a Christmas toy appeal for disadvantaged kids

*still

@Continentalmama I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting a fiver in a card, but asking for money is cheeky! I’m sure some people will give money anyway

That would be the last thing I would think. It’s a child’s party ffs, what a weird conclusion.

Well then the host shouldn't ask for Effin money. Who does that?

Asking for money is rude and tacky. How am I the weird one?

When you ask for money it sounds like you need money - or else you wouldn't ask for it. Tacky as hell, you'd simply state 'No gifts'

Just keep the presents received to re-gift or take them to the charity shop

Do you think the gift givers actually want to give gifts that are immediately dispatched to a charity shop?

Is this a good outcome for them do you think?

@LaurieMarlow

They won’t know! 🤷🏼‍♀️