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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend using my dad as a GP service

163 replies

Littlejayx · 25/09/2019 15:47

I need yet more life advice for a quite sensitive situation anybody wiser than me please help!

My friend of 15years+ has recently had a lovely baby boy who due to being quite premature spent a long time in SCBU. Due to my dad being a retired special care doctor offered to pop in and help her understand what was going on and make all the medical terms be a tad simpler as she has nobody else and seemed overwhelmed.

Anyway he spent a couple of hours there and thankfully the baby was discharged a month or so later. Everything wonderful and fine.

Now the problem, this friend is treating my dad like a GP. From the start my dad explained he was their to make the situation seem not as scary and cannot practice anymore and obviously can’t prescribe.
She is now dropping in at his house at least once a week asking if he’s okay and if he has a infection or cold or flu.

Each time she has been met with the ‘you Will have to check with your GP or health visitor I don’t practice anymore’ to which she comes bitching to me 😩.

She states the whole reason in asking him is then she doesn’t have to book in at the doctors and he would tell her if something looked seriously wrong.

I am too much of a wet wipe to do anything else than a firm please don’t ask him medical questions. She has been through a lot and doesn’t have any other family or friends and can be quite confrontational which I don’t have the brain to deal with.

Is she being unreasonable or just a worried over cautious mum?

OP posts:
mankyfourthtoe · 25/09/2019 16:44

Dad needs to block and get a ring doorbell.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/09/2019 16:44

Oh dear!

Cross-post - I see it hasn't.

Grumpelstilskin · 25/09/2019 16:45

Well, I would fuck her off now for that childish goady meme. She's got time to waste on social media to bitch, then she can sort out her own child's appointments. Do not go with her. She is an adult and needs to woman the fuck up!

Loveislandaddict · 25/09/2019 16:46

Maybe screenshot the messages you have sent, so if she decides to complain, you have evidence that you have refused giving any advice, and your dad only went to hospital initially to provide support, not advice,

PippiDeLena · 25/09/2019 16:46

Oh my goodness, she's a drama llama. Let's notch it up to 11 OP Smile comment "is this because I asked you to stop stalking my dad?" Under her post.

Loveislandaddict · 25/09/2019 16:46

(Not saying she will complain)

Accountant222 · 25/09/2019 16:47

Your Dad did a nice thing and she is taking the piss.

TurquoiseDress · 25/09/2019 16:47

So she’s read the message and then posted one of those photo quote things on Facebook saying ‘with friends like these who need enemies’ with bloody oak trees in the background 😂😂😂

Sounds like you now have the perfect excuse to end your friendship with this drama queen!

norfolkskies · 25/09/2019 16:48

hmmph with a fb comment like I`d be hitting unfriend! block her!

FrancesFlute · 25/09/2019 16:48

Oh dear, that's a bit of a narrow-minded response from her!

I feel sorry for her as it must be so stressful and worrying having such a poorly baby. But GPs will always try and squeeze babies/kids into surgeries (my DH is a GP) and as PPs have said, pharmacies really are an underused service that could help her. Well done for your message - I hope in time she realises you and your dad only have her best interests at heart.

YouokHun · 25/09/2019 16:49

No good deed goes unpunished!

Oh dear, your poor DF. I can see that she’s probably anxious and that’s understandable but she really needs to engage with the HVs and her own GP. She’ll have to now. I think that friendship is probably over but good message that needed saying OP

chipsandgin · 25/09/2019 16:50

In the basis that she posts quote type photos on facebook alone i’d cut your losses and ditch her anyway! She’s being a cheeky fucker & you’ve stood your ground, maybe someone else will point it out, or she’ll develop some self awareness at some point - but tbh life is too short for that shit. I’d post an ironic ‘u ok hun?’ on her post just for a laugh..(the worst phrase in the world btw, just to clarify!).

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/09/2019 16:51

Oh well you tried. She sounds pretty self absorbed. This isn’t the first time I’ve commented on posts, where ops are being perfectly reasonable only to find their cheeky fucker / immature friend posts this sort of shit.

BanKittenHeels · 25/09/2019 16:51

So she’s read the message and then posted one of those photo quote things on Facebook saying ‘with friends like these who need enemies’ with bloody oak trees in the background

And that’s where I would completely remove her from my life. Block her on everything and tell your dad to do the same.

Livebythecoast · 25/09/2019 16:52

Oh OP, well done for your message and your 'friend' has obviously shown her true colours. So glad you were assertive. She's not a true friend if she gets arsey. She put your Dad in a difficult situation (and you) and took advantage of his profession.

SavingSpaces2019 · 25/09/2019 16:54

WHY are you such a 'wet wipe'?
Where's YOUR boundaries?
Your dad is repeatedly making HIS boundaries clear and this ignorant cow is deliberately ignoring them.
She then has the bloody nerve to bitch about your dad to your face - and you're too much of a mug and doormat to do anything about it?

It's ok OP, you keep behaving like a 'wet-wipe'.....until the day the day the police/Social Services come knocking on your dad's door, cos the mum couldn't be arsed making an appointment with her own GP and failed to get her child the medical care it needed.
Of course she will blame it all on your dad "HE has been giving me advice since my baby was born and i trusted his judgement"

Ffs! Your dad should refuse to let her in his house and protect himself from this thick-skinned ignorant woman.

MsTSwift · 25/09/2019 16:55

She sounds either not too bright or if generous suffering some sort of impairment of judgement due to recent experiences.

Demonstrates the cliche “no good deed unpunished” that’s for sure!

Jeezoh · 25/09/2019 16:55

I’d like her photo and comment “so true” - that’ll confuse her!

bobsyourauntie · 25/09/2019 16:56

I agree that you need to distance yourself OP. I did someone a favour not so long ago, then recently said that I couldn't do the same again and they then threatened to report me to a professional body, so I wish I had never done the favour! Totally different scenario (not medical) and there is nothing that they can actually report me for, but it shows the mentality of some people.....

She could be suffering from stress or PND, which is making her over zealous, it must be hard for her, but she needs to accept what your father is saying and leave him alone.

custardbear · 25/09/2019 16:56

Tell your dad how to block her number and not answer the door if she knocks - what a nightmare. Yes it's scary having children but the first few conversations saying to not contact him should have been enough to revert to normal routes - she's being a
Cheeky cow with her response - she should be grateful for what help he did give her

Seaweed42 · 25/09/2019 16:57

Tell her he's a doddery old fool who may well give her the wrong advice.
Tell her he is not insured to give her advice and if she takes his advice and it turns out not to be the case, that there is absolutely no recourse for her to take.
Tell her the doctor needs to build up a medical history with her baby so she is putting her baby in danger by not bringing him to the professional who actually has a duty of care to that baby.

CaveMum · 25/09/2019 16:58

She’s made it perfectly clear what she thinks of you as a friend. Block her number and also on Social Media and tell your dad to also block her (if she has his number) and stop opening the door to her. If she continues to turn up at his house then he needs to file a harassment report with the police.

MrsGrammaticus · 25/09/2019 17:01

Tell her that LEGALLY he is not able to give her medical advice. If he did and was incorrect he would not want to be held liable for any problems. And repeat
^^This. I appreciate he's tried to help a friend in need , but surely he risks getting into serious trouble with the GMC if anything were to go wrong....he has no liability cover any more or professional indemnity. He needs to stop and she must stop asking. I surprised at your Dad doing this OP.

CoraPirbright · 25/09/2019 17:02

she said she isn’t comfortable with the lack of help she’s getting so we all have problems

Rude mare!!

So glad you’ve got tough with her OP.

minesagin37 · 25/09/2019 17:02

She sounds like an ungrateful entitled pain in the arse. Get tough op because she's being a cheeky fer!