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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wank tissue left on sofa

171 replies

Laralippy · 25/09/2019 14:16

I’ve name changed for this and will no doubt be accused of making this up, or maybe not, don’t know how common this is.

This morning I went into the living room and found a clump of wet tissues on the sofa which my partner had clearly used to dry himself after wanking. I know this is absolutely gross, and I’m furious - was already angry enough and have changed my ways recently so that I’m only doing my own laundry, my own washing up etc as I don’t see why I should have to do his, and now he has left this on the sofa. He did subsequently bin it without me asking (how good of him) but i find it so disrespectful that he’d just leave it there for me to find. I know this reads like a parody post of ‘angry/first world problem mumsnetter’ but it’s sadly not. Is this common? I highly doubt it. We don’t have children thank god.

OP posts:
TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 25/09/2019 17:50

At least he doesn't wipe it on the curtains...

EmeraldShamrock · 25/09/2019 17:54

@SilverChime Your story reminded me of a poster who carefully buried her used pad in her boyfriend's kitchen bin, only for the dog to retrieve it, the dog came bouncing in pad in mouth. Blush

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 25/09/2019 17:57

@TakemedowntoPotatoCity I had an ex who used to joke about doing that after sex... .ugh!

womenspeakout · 25/09/2019 18:00

Probably best to use a rubber glove surely!

Well, a posh wank is where a guy wears a condom. But I suppose a rubber glove is another way to go.....

SnorkMaiden81 · 25/09/2019 18:43

An army friend of mine used to call the dried wank tissues often found in sleeping quarters 'prawn crackers'. EnvyGrin

SpongeBoobBigPants · 25/09/2019 19:02

Oh I may never eat a prawn cracker againShock

Elieza · 25/09/2019 19:16

Ha ha, these posts are so funny!

Perhaps he’s marking his territory as you’ve been arguing, you know like an animal when it’s worried about a situation changing, but didn’t need a pee and a porn channel just happened to be on tv.....hence the result!

Ha ha, at least it was contained. Could have been a stain up the wall...Grin

PhilCornwall1 · 25/09/2019 20:43

I am utterly perplexed by some of the comments such as LTB

Standard response, it's mumsnet Brexit.

Frankola · 25/09/2019 21:09

That's utterly gross.

Dispose of your wankrag! Filthy animal lol

kateandme · 26/09/2019 00:09

this has me feeling sick because as pp said about why men having constant single sock problems.my dad had single sock problems!

j712adrian · 26/09/2019 00:36

Hankies are a popular Christmas present for gentlemen.

NarwhalsNarwhals · 26/09/2019 00:50

Grin If he has time time to pull his dick, he has time to pull his weight is possibly the best statement ever. DH is pissing me off at the minute, I can totally see this getting used at some point.

lily2403 · 26/09/2019 11:51

*I am a man and would never ever have done this even when single.

I am surprised it is not 100% YANBU.*

what wank?

Did you find if quick? if wet and sticky must have done it hahahaha

I agree a bit grim and am sure he just forgot it, but i wouldn't shame him for having a wank

lily2403 · 26/09/2019 11:51

If he has time time to pull his dick, he has time to pull his weight is possibly the best statement ever. DH is pissing me off at the minute, I can totally see this getting used at some point

me too hahahahaha

Gillian1980 · 26/09/2019 11:59

Haha, sorry but this thread has made me laugh.

I’d have assumed it was forgetfulness and just thrown it away. Yeah it’s a bit gross but hardly the worst thing ever.

Whattodoabout · 26/09/2019 12:04

This is one of the main reasons I’m glad not to be a man. There are many advantages but the messy orgasms just ain’t one...

I would be pretty fucked off OP. Sounds as though you have a fair few issues in your relationship generally so this may be the straw breaking the proverbial camels back...

1300cakes · 26/09/2019 13:12

If he is usually a normal person but had a one off moment of extreme forgetfulness which he is now very embarrassed about, you should just forget about it. We all make silly mistakes sometimes. I'm a very clean, non lazy person but was embarrassed when I once forgot to flush after a #2 at home Blush

But yes obviously it's gross. It reminds me of an ex bf who had a wanking station set up in his room. Next to his computer (not in a drawer, on full view on the desk) was a bottle of lube and a loo roll. I told him to put it out of sight in a drawer, but he said why should he, and anyway the drawer was full - of more loo rolls Envy (not envy)

RogueV · 26/09/2019 13:14

Grim

DH has done this before, we have had words!

Dirty bastards

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 26/09/2019 17:28

My dog would have eaten it BlushEnvy boak, not envy.

Or I'd have put in the pocket of his work trousers...

Eyes up pile of odd socks suspiciously

soutgdub33 · 08/11/2019 02:50

This reply has been deleted

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Smilebehappy123 · 08/11/2019 03:00

At least he didnt wipe it on the curtains like my x used to do

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