Wank tissue left on sofa

[Laralippy]

I’ve name changed for this and will no doubt be accused of making this up, or maybe not, don’t know how common this is.

This morning I went into the living room and found a clump of wet tissues on the sofa which my partner had clearly used to dry himself after wanking. I know this is absolutely gross, and I’m furious - was already angry enough and have changed my ways recently so that I’m only doing my own laundry, my own washing up etc as I don’t see why I should have to do his, and now he has left this on the sofa. He did subsequently bin it without me asking (how good of him) but i find it so disrespectful that he’d just leave it there for me to find. I know this reads like a parody post of ‘angry/first world problem mumsnetter’ but it’s sadly not. Is this common? I highly doubt it. We don’t have children thank god.

@Limensoda omg no way lol. When I first found a hard sock I assumed that's what it was from... I didn't know whether it went in it or was just used to clean it up.. either way, I could have snapped it in half 😷😩😂

In all my years and I have brothers. I’ve never seen a crusty sock must of lead a sheltered life.

Imagine saying the op is hard work because she doesn't want to come face to face with discarded jizzy tissues. Some people have a low bar.

Can I just clarify something - do they actually wank into the sock (a bit like a dick puppet) or do they just use it to clean up?!

A dick puppet ... omg 😂😂 this thread has cheered me right up. Lol

Whoever voted YABU is just grim.

So let's get this straight, he has sat bare buttocked on the sofa, tugged himself off and then left the tissue there. FFS, that's not OK. Go to the bedroom, bathroom, shed, garage somewhere private and clean up after yourself! Good lord some of these men are real cretins.

What if a friend or relative just popped round on the off chance. "Oh don't sit there dear, Barry just finished his wank and there might be a damp patch"

Wouldn’t it be a bit rough surely to actually wear to wank right. Better off shagging an eclair

@OneForMeToo an eclair!!!
DYING! 😂😂😂😂

a bit like a dick puppet 👏
Penis beaker.
Wank tissue.
Dick puppet.
Amazing 🤣

He might like a bit rough...

Better off shagging an eclair

I think I would be more pissed off he had wasted an eclair 😂

I often thought this when one was found... a rough old sock.. really. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The sock is always rough and ready pahaha 😂

Geeez if my OH used a rough sock to whack one out he would probably cause a house fire!!!

And probably cost me a fucking fortune in new socks too!

@December2019 😂😂😂

Is there a preference like trainer socks, ankle high, full football socks? Your own or someone else’s?

Where are the men to answer these things

Probably best to use a rubber glove surely!
I would literally die if I walked into OH with a marigold on his chopper! 😂💪

Also clean or dirty? And don’t tell me they are too busy sock wanking to answer 😂

My ex always used a sports sock 🤷🏻‍♀️ may be they felt better than an ankle sock... and using mine would have ended in his death 😂😩

Probably best to use a rubber glove surely!
I would literally die if I walked into OH with a marigold on his chopper! 😂💪

Laughter would be the only thing to come after seeing this 😂

He could also keep the glove ... id probably draw a face on it 😩😂

I wonder if he would like a poo in his shoe?
It would be sooooo tempting....

This is literally the funniest thing I've read on the internet ever - crying laughing!

Also, have just put the washing on wearing rubber gloves (just in case...)

cummy tissues

That’s the most disgusting phrase I’ve maybe ever heard. Definite boak and SEVERAL degrees worse than “wank tissue.” Please, think of the rest of us when you type these things. Degenerates. 😂

This reminds me of the time I accidentally dropped a tissue in my aunt’s house. I started my period unexpectedly so popped a tissue in my knickers until I could get home. Didn’t realise it had fallen out down my trouser leg until I saw dear old Aunty sniffing it and wondering out loud where it had come from. It took me 20 minutes to persuade her to stop speculating and sniffing and put it in the bin. OP is it possible your DH dropped it by accident and is utterly mortified?

If my DP left a wanky tissue on the sofa, it would definitely be a bit grim and I'd be less than impressed. But unless there was evidence to the contrary, I'd assume he left it there by mistake. I am utterly perplexed by some of the comments such as LTB because he accidentally left a jizzy tissue on the sofa - which he binned once he spotted the oversight.

I've not RTFT because I got a bit fedup with the pearl clutching going on so unless there's something else going on in the relationship I'd assume it was a silly oversight which hopefully will never be repeated. However, I'm guessing. by some of the other comments the OP made about making changes that there's an undercurrent of resentment which has exacerbated her outrage.