Aibu to wonder if everybody life is like this?

[Laraaussie]

So today I got up at 6am, coffee, breakfast, then rushed around getting ready sorting kids eldest just sits around and does nothing unless told, no common sense, youngest 4yo spends all morning moaning and having tantrums because he can't get his socks on.

Left house, dropped dc at childcare, struggled through bad traffic to get to work. Left work, got stuck in unexpectedly bad traffic, was going to be late to collect dc so had to ring my mother who thankfully was able to collect them but I was super stressed.

Got home, youngest heads straight to the toilet for his usual after school poo, calls me to wipe his bottom. I then leave him to wash his hands while I have a tidy up, can hear water, he's left the tap running with the plug in and had flooded the bathroom, water pissing through the ceiling so I'm trying to dry it all up with towels while youngest is crying because he's flooded the bathroom

I nag eldest to pick up after himself as he leaves a trail of mess in his path.

I cook dinner, then go out to swimming lessons, more traffic, no parking spaces at busy leisure centre despite leaving in plenty of time we only make it in in the nick of time. After swimming queue for showers, people pushing in gives me the rage.

Head to shops for milk/bread top up, forget the bread.

Home, eat the dinner I've cooked, dh home by then, by the time we've cleared up, got kids to bed, sorted bags/uniforms for tomorrow, stuck a washing load on, we've just sat down.

I'm knackered and tomorrow I do it all again.

CroissantsAtDawn

I'm with you- either OH can heat up some of what we have eaten- I make extra, or he can sort himself out.

No way would I would be cooking two meals.

Or batch cook spicy food at the weekend and reheat in the week?

In all honesty no, I couldn't live like it. We chose a simpler life, living on a single wage and living a basic life is so relaxed for us. I have a 4 year old whom I'm home educating some days we don't get dressed for the day until 10am. Don't drive at high traffic times and can take advantage of midweek lessons such as swimming, karate and football. Tomorrow is our 'busy day' we have to leave at 9.15am to get to the farm by 10 where my son is learning and having the best time, then we go to a national trust park for a picnic, play on the park then home before rush hour to do a little work.

You are all right- need to sort this cooking twice in an evening nonsense out.

My life too. FT job and this week I’d done 7 hours additional evening work on site in two days. DD has just started secondary and monitoring the homework alone is breaking me. Because I’ve worked two nights, the washing basket is overflowing. Last night I didn’t even go in the living room. Quality of life is fairly poor really, working to pay for a house I don’t get to relax in

This is making me feel better. I’m stressing out because we don’t have enough money and I need to find a full time job. But... my life is easier than some of yours sounds:

Woken up at 6am by crap sleeper 20 month old who always ends up in our bed.
Hero partner takes him for 2 hours toddler was kicking me in the night and I have not had a lot of sleep.
8.30 I wake up, try and prep breakfast whilst toddler demands to be picked up etc
9.30 my mum picks up toddler for morning of childcare
I walk to to work
4pm we have to drive across town to pick up toddler. I am not functioning well due to lack of sleep and stress about money, so we drive together.
5.45 finally back at home
Feed toddler, make dinner while Daddy does bedtime
7.30/8pm we’ll eat
We plan to sit slack jawed in front of tv
10pm we’re going to bed!

My takeaways from this: stressing about money sucks, but having a job that pays enough also means less time. I am definitely only having one child. :D

Yes OP you've pretty much described my life but there's no dh in mine, a hinderance in some ways but a help in others im sure

Oh and between 2 dc the have 5 clubs on a Wednesday... 5!! 😭

Mine is not like that at all.

We have two DC one primary and one secondary...today all got a lift with DH to the secondary on his way to work as taking youngest to an open day.

So 7am-8am get up and have breakfast. / packed lunch for one
8-9 lift to the school, then walk about a bit with DC1 till 9am
9-11- get shown around school then walk into town for a hot choc in a cafe before walking to the primary school
12-2.30 Home having lunch, doing some jobs like laundry and listening to the radio,
2.30-3.30 walk to the primary and wait in a lovely park nearby in the sin for a bit waiting for him to finish
4.30-5 local shops for some bits for dinner.
6pm eat dinner with DC as DH back later, now Dc doing their homework.

Yeh this is me - usually too knackered to bother cooking so usually go hungry myself lol!

Also, our primary do the clubs themselves so just means a later pick up (4.30 usually) or an early start. We only ever do things like swimming at weekends, to avoid traffic after school etc and would be too 'rushy'

I’m a SAHM and avoid all this - except it’s hard when people ask me what I do all day: I do all the shit you guys have to squeeze in as well as a full time job - hats off to you. Seriously. my life is ducking boring but remarkably stress free.

fernandoanddenise

Yes, but SAHMs have to care for kids during the day and clear up the mountain of mess they generate during "working" hours".

Kids in day care are not trashing the house.

My life is like this OP. I'm finding having to keep on top of the children's extracurricular activities very stressful on top of keeping down the 4-day week "high-powered" job, no family locally and DH works away 2 or 3 days of the week. I tend to be up and down the country one or two days of the week. Or I work late.

Weekends we have swimming and football. Endless amounts of social and family responsibilities. On the odd precious chill out weekend where we get to spend some time as a family we all end up going to the park just so the kids don't kill each other and I never have time to sort my life out out and do some chores.

I have a cleaner but I resent paying for things like gardening and car valeting and people to DIY for us.

I do realise what a lucky person I am despite the stresses and strains, its a good life but it is rather tiring.

I so glad I'm not on my own. I'm shattered all the time, I sat down last night about 9.15 and was asleep on the sofa by 9.55. Today I've been so busy that when I did my girls tea I thought I'm I'm really hungry then remembered I hadn't had any lunch! ☹️😴

My life used to be like that. It does get better. And then they leave. And then you miss them and the chaos!

@Rainatnight 😘 aw gee thanks!

My life (like almost everyone else on this thread) is of course full on. And some times when I realise that the cat has crapped on the stairs, ds1 has a last minute panic about the missing rugby boots that I asked him to check were in his bag last night, ds2 and ds3 are rolling round on the living room floor "playing" but shrieking and hollering and absolutely trying to kill each other in a way that only siblings can and my sole remaining pair of decent black tights are still damp from lack of airing cupboard space so I'm blasting them with my hairdryer all before 8am, I get fraught. But I try and congratulate myself each night when we've made it through without major incident and promise to try my best again tomorrow, just like I did today. This makes all days pretty good to be honest. Even today when I was really shouty with them first thing and then late to work, we all said sorry when we got home and had a cuddle. Whats not to love about that?

I like the "everybody fed, nobody dead" mantra.

Although me being shouty earlier = richter scale 8 meltdown in the car. Children were being so bloody obstructive and unhelpful but just being, well, kids.

Life IS stressful with a family- did any of us really think it wouldn't be?

This seriously puts me off having kids

It was like that for me too. Nearly had a nervous breakdown. I had to stop and make changes. I reduced my work hours, reduced the number of after school clubs and playdates. Got the kids to be less reliant on me for everything. Also, them getting a bit older helps. It is a lot better now, which means we are all happier as a result. I get to have 2 whole hours of 'me time' most evenings.

Yup. Sounds normal to me. Normal 21st century family life. But the kids grow up so it's not forever. What's the solution? You don't work - live on benefits and have no money? You don't cook - everyone is less healthy? You don't take them to swimming lessons - they don't learn to swim? I work weekends and spend 12 hours a week (my two days off) while my children are at school cleaning and doing laundry and generally keeping our house and garden nice. It's an exhausting roundabout of chores but I love them and want the best for my kiddos so just get on with it. In ten years time I'll be twiddling my thumbs and reclaiming 'my' life. I'll probably hate it! Lol

I feel your pain. When mine were little I regularly had times where I felt the treadmill was going to finish me off.

Now they are teens it would be heaven, but for the fact that I got myself promoted, and now get up at 6am, out befire 7am, back at 9pm. Then bed at 10pm, and the cycle begins again.

I can't decide which one is worse! Maybe I should have stayed in my crap "mummy" part time job.

Yeah - prettymuch

Yep. Been there, done that.

Mine are older now and all I can say is it does get easier but not for at least 10 years.

#sorrynotsorry

Bloody helll I'm pregnant with my first only a few weeks this thread is got me slightly worried lol everyone seems so negative about young kids!

I expect it to be hard but I hope not as bad as some of the comments.

My life is exactly the same!
Although DS1 has left home, DS2 is still here, in full time employment miles away. Means hes out 12 hours a day, leaving me (no DP here) to do all the housework, washing etc, on top of my 4 minimum wage part time jobs and supplying 3 shops with what i make..
I basically work 7 days a week, and my health has taken a turn for the worse, to the point my GP has told me im suffering from stress, getting warning signs and need to take time off..
I can't, i'm self employed and no-one can, or are willing to fill in for me
I haven't had a holiday for 5 years!!