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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you have children again?

186 replies

SherbetSaucer · 24/09/2019 17:52

So this isn’t a ‘do you regret having children’ thread or an ‘if you could have your time again would you still have them’ thread but I was thinking...

Hypothetically, say you knew you were guaranteed to come back again in another life after you die, knowing what you know now would you have children in that second life (you wouldn’t get the children you currently have)?

If yes why and if no what would you concentrate on instead?

AIBU to assume a lot of parents would make the decision to experience a childfree life the second time around?

OP posts:
ZogorElmer · 24/09/2019 17:54

Yes definitely. If I wasn’t so poorly while pregnant and hate labour so much I would have another 2/3.

EmrysAtticus · 24/09/2019 17:55

I would have a child again. I love being a mum, watching a child grow and learn and knowing that you are playing a major role in that is just incredible. I also wouldn't want to miss out on the love.

edgen2019 · 24/09/2019 17:55

If I were to come back again in another life I would do exactly the same as I did in this life, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

ThinkerThunkk · 24/09/2019 17:56

No. I wouldn't be so environmentally selfish.

nrpmum · 24/09/2019 17:56

No children. I'd do a lot more travelling and also probably devote my time to career.

Thegullfromhull · 24/09/2019 17:56

I would have them yes.
But I’d live elsewhere and choose a different father for them.
The uk is an expensive place to raise a family.

Bucatini · 24/09/2019 17:56

Yes I would. They're fab.

nonmerci · 24/09/2019 17:57

I love being a Mother. It doesn’t define me but it has, in part, made me the person I am. I feel stronger and more confident as a Mother, also have a lot more drive.

Hoolihan · 24/09/2019 17:57

Yes I would. Best thing I have done in my life.

TheDarkPassenger · 24/09/2019 17:59

My children saved my life! So yeah I would. I’ll be totally honest though and say I’d be scared to have a child that needed a lot of work. Mine are all pretty okay so I’d like them ones back please.

Liverbird77 · 24/09/2019 18:00

For sure. 100%. I wish I'd have known how good it was when I was younger, as I'd probably have a football team by now!

tastylancs · 24/09/2019 18:00

Absolutely. I'd rejig life work balance and do some things differently but definitely have children again.

Areyoufree · 24/09/2019 18:01

For sure. 100%. I wish I'd have known how good it was when I was younger, as I'd probably have a football team by now!

Yup. Me too.

Nonnymum · 24/09/2019 18:02

Yes I would and I might have had one more. My children helped me grow up, gave me confidence and are the best thing I have ever done. I can't imagine how my life would have turned out without them. I suspect I would have been a very different person though but not a better one.

peachgreen · 24/09/2019 18:02

Ooh that's a tough one. I don't think I would, but only because I'd be interested to experience the other side of the coin. I suspect if I had multiple lives I would probably choose to have children in most of them.

MeadowHay · 24/09/2019 18:02

I'm only 15 months into parenthood, DD was a 'high needs' baby who screamed for 7 months (and still a lot of the time after that - she still cries more than any other toddler of her age that I know), and now is a 'spirited' toddler with slight speech and gross motor delays. My answer is definitely yes. I have found some of it so painfully difficult, struggled with my MH etc but it gets better and better. And nothing I've experienced before could compare to the love and joy that she gives me. I don't mean that to sound wanky but for me it's true.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/09/2019 18:03

Definitely not Blush

SciFiScream · 24/09/2019 18:05

I love my children. Best thing in my life/best thing I've ever done. They make me so proud.

No I wouldn't have children.

Catapillarsruletheworld · 24/09/2019 18:05

I would choose to have them again. Life would be dull without them.

Moonsick · 24/09/2019 18:05

No. Love my kids, but given a second life I wouldn't do it again.

The first five years destroyed my mental health. I hated all the drudgery, mess, repetition, sleepless nights and negotiation. I couldn't go through it all again, even under different circumstances.

Dutch1e · 24/09/2019 18:06

I wouldn't, no. I'd be too interested to try another way of living. Also I love my kids fiercely but never had a real parental urge and completely understand those who are childfree by choice.

Cheerfulcharlie · 24/09/2019 18:06

I definitely would!

Oliversmumsarmy · 24/09/2019 18:12

I would but I would start earlier. (Was told at 18 children ruin your life and it was drummed into me to not have any till I was much older)

They have been the best thing I have ever done and if I came back I would start in my teens and have many more.

beela · 24/09/2019 18:12

Yes, 100%

Shmithecat2 · 24/09/2019 18:15

No, I don't think I would. Although maybe my outlook would be different if 1) I was nearer to family/support (we have none) and 2) ds actually slept through the night more than once (he's 4y next month and is awake for approx 16 hours a day with no let up). I love the bones of him, but can't say I do it all over again.

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