Would you have children again?

[SherbetSaucer]

So this isn’t a ‘do you regret having children’ thread or an ‘if you could have your time again would you still have them’ thread but I was thinking...

Hypothetically, say you knew you were guaranteed to come back again in another life after you die, knowing what you know now would you have children in that second life (you wouldn’t get the children you currently have)?

If yes why and if no what would you concentrate on instead?

AIBU to assume a lot of parents would make the decision to experience a childfree life the second time around?

Yes, but I’d wait at least another 5 years, so have them in my early-mid thirties as opposed to mid-late twenties. First at 25 and about to have second at 29 and my career, social life and confidence/self-belief have taken an absolute hammering, would have been much better to wait until a later stage. As it is now, I’m going for the ‘get it over with’ strategy and then attempt to sort out the absolute arse I’ve made of things after.

Yes ❤️

Yes, I'd have more than the 3 I have now. Love, love, love babies and big families. I didn't like the pregnant and giving birth bit but I'd tell my new self to get over it.

This is a fascinating thread. I have no children and still wouldn't do it, given my time again. Too much random stuff happens; you can't guarantee what you'll get or how it will pan out. Also there are so many shite men out there, breeding! Sod that. Thankfully, DH feels the same.

Yes but I’d have just one and do it much younger like early twenties.

Yes but not out of wedlock and I would choose the potential dad VERY CAREFULLY .

YABU...I would absolutely have children again. I enjoyed the childfree years in my twenties but was so ready for being a parent by the time I was 30. I love it, I can't imagine a lifetime without having kids and watching them grow and have families of their own

A million times over. Even though they have been little buggers this weekend.

I couldn't have them and if I came back I wouldn't even try. Infertility destroyed my life and I'm only now starting to live the life I have and be happy in it. If I had another life I wouldn't even try.

I find the company of children mostly irritating now anyway so don't know whether I'd want to be around them all the time.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh me too. I couldn’t have children but I’d be childfree by choice if I had my life again.

No. In fact I often have wished it was possible to have two parallel lives so I could have one with and one without children.

Nope if I had the choice and hindsight of back then now, I would have chosen career and singledom

Yes. Not a single moment of hesitation. I would probably have them early thirties, though, instead of mid thirties.

Yes definitely! But maybe in the future there'd be some amazing way to make pregnancy and labour much easier but 100% worth it anyway

I do wonder if I would have felt differently if I hadn't had the opportunities I had earlier in life tbf. I was lucky that due to supportive parents etc I went to uni and got a well paid job, so was able to develop my career and do lots of travelling and fun stuff for a solid 10 years, plus be in position where having kids now is not jeopardizing my ability to continue my career successes later. I feel I've been lucky in that regard to have my cake & eat it too so to speak. Altho I would love to ditch the career and be a SAHM at the moment!!!

Yes 100% but I’d like the same 3 back please!

minipie I love that idea

Yes. But I'd have my PND properly diagnosed and treated so that I could have had the three DC I'd dreamt of instead of having absolutely no recollection of DC2's first year of life and being told by family and exH that I wasn't capable of having more.

Probably, at least I'd try. But equally, had I not had kids, I still would have been content with my life.

I so wish that people would stop saying that not( forcing someone into existence is ‘selfish’. ‘I’d be selfish and not have any! And travel!’ Etc. Stop it. Childfree women are not selfish. Having a kid is the most selfish thing you can do.

YES!

Yes. I would have children in another life... I just wish the contractions weren't so painful.

My children have a special place in my heart, I love them endlessly and bring me a lot of joy and pride....as well stress here and there.

Absolutely

I would have more and start earlier, if I would still have this body. If I was going to get a nice healthy body then I would start at the same time.

Interesting question.

If I could get my two kids, then yes, absolutely. We totally lucked in. I also love being part of a community - friends with other families, and watching all the kids grow up.

However, I know so much more about parenthood, responsibility and sacrifice now.

Without the guarantee that I'd get the same two children, I'm inclined to think I might not do it again.

I see my best friend struggling with a child with additional needs, and I don't think I'm cut out for it. I know I'm not. Now, knowing the risk and the reality of how much of a struggle life can be - the worry, etc. I think maybe not.

The idea of DH and me being responsibility-free, and financially much better off....? It's pretty appealing.