Is the teacher or me?!

[Treeli]

Full disclosure, DS can be a sod behaviour wise. Low level disruption, he’s been on report twice since he started secondary school. He’s just started year 8.

When he joined the school he was streamed middle/bottom sets. He passed his SATS but he’s an August born.

Last year he absolutely smashed science. Didn’t show much ability in class but past his assessments with flying colours. I knew and his teacher made it clear he didn’t want him in the top set but they had to move him due to his assessment marks.

3 weeks into term and I’ve just looked through his science book. They had a quick pop quiz of last years material and his teacher has written this:

XXXXX, should you be in this class? Are you comfortable? I have SERIOUS concerns about you being here looking at this, id like to talk to you after class.

I’m the last person to go running to the school complaining about poor DS (in fact I was the one who told them to put him on report last time), but doesn’t that seem a bit harsh 3 weeks into term when they are going over material from last year?

I wouldn't conform to the expectations of people who clearly don't give a shit about me. Kids are good at picking up on that kind of thing.

They do operate zero tolerance.

So forgetting your pen etc is marked down as an 1. Another infraction gets you a 2 and you have to stay behind to talk to the teacher. A 3 is a removal from the class to SLT and an after school detention.

So I you forget your pen, call out and do anything else during the lesson you’re on a 3. ALL points go on the system. He doesn’t have ONE from science.

3 minors tot up to a 3. Walking into class and calling the teacher a wanker is an automatic 3. An automatic 3 not under the totting up system is a day in the “unit”. That’s the delightful place where the trust bus in all their unit kids for the day from 5 different schools. No break, lunch in your cubicle (floor to ceiling) and worksheets for the day.

They don’t mess around when it comes to discipline.

I assume the comment refers to other pieces of work that aren't in his book? Another student's book might show much more than a pop quiz.

Unacceptable behaviour in French was the laughing

Maths was his calculator

Believe me, if he was being constantly disruptive I would know

Not having a pen can actually cause massive disruption. The lesson obviously cannot start until every child has a pen.

I’ve looked through his book. Most of it isn’t marked. They do peer marking. But it’s neat, comprehensible and on task.

Walking into class and calling the teacher a wanker is an automatic 3. An automatic 3
And you know because you have experience of this? ? ?

Probably more to this than you know. And yes a ‘sod’ shouldn’t be allowed to disrupt other pupils education so may end up being moved down. If you know he behaves badly why don’t you address this?

Fair enough OP. I'm surprised any student whose own parents would describe them as a bit of a sod would only have 3 points in a zero tolerance school.

Being a bit of a sod is usually a euphemism for nice enough student who does enough to disrupt their learning and others but never quite pushes it far enough to end up on the behaviour system (aka the sort of disruption that takes the most time).

I stand by my advice earlier. Call the teacher for a chat and raise your queries. On its own it's a fairly odd comment to put in a book, even if the sentiment is true. Be open minded and reasonable and you'll probably get the clarify you want

@Fresta, no, he’s never called a teacher a wanker if that’s what you are getting at ffs

I was demonstrating the difference between the totting up system and an automatic 3.

@brighteyeowl17, I’m genuinely open to your suggestions.

So far I’ve: monitored his behaviour account, called his HOD when it creeps up, recommended and supported him being on report, sanctioned him at home, check his school books and homework everyday.

I’m open to your suggestions

Though out of interest is it an actual zero tolerance school or one that has a policy that looks like one but then everyone does their own thing?
The worst behaviour on a whole school level I have experienced was in a school that claimed to have a system close to, but not, zero tolerance but leadership didn't follow it up or back staff and so individual staff stopped having the battles over the system because leadership did nothing anyway. The policy said one thing. The reality was people could tell a member of staff to fuck off and verbally abuse their peers and have no more than 30mins out of class to cool down (which was essentially a reward for them).

They start with 72 points a week he lost 2 for behaviour and gained one for a really good piece of homework.

“Sod” was not used to describe a little shit wrecking havoc at school.

It is annoying being in a class with people who disrupt. I don’t really see why it’s relevant what set he’s in. If he is being badly behaved, he should get sanctioned for bad behaviour? But I wouldn’t worry about what the teacher has written, just get him to avoid disrupting other people as a priority.

@LolaSmiles, not at all. They don’t mess around.

I dont think I'd like my child getting that comment. I would go in and show the head. If that teacher thinks hes in the wrong set he should be talking to you and the head not putting comments like that in his books. Bad behaviour or not. And surely if this was just his bad behaviour youd have been called in about it.

I’ve looked through his book. Most of it isn’t marked. They do peer marking. But it’s neat, comprehensible and on task.

Why don’t you email the teacher and ask what her concerns are?

Do they just dump all the naughty kids in bottom set then?

So because your son is bright it's OK for him to disrupt all the other children in the class?

YABU

I would check school marking policy before you mention the non marking to the teacher, most schools do a 2 week marking schedule and it’s only week 3 back at school, actually having said that a lot of schools are moving away from book marking and just marking assessments.

Nobody has said wreaking havoc OP.
This is too often the problem at secondary in my experience. People decide that because a child isn't causing absolute havoc or being verbally abusive etc thay their behaviour is ok (how do you think we ended up lumbered with this awful educational phrase "low level disruption"?)

In most schools, most learning isn't lost by big issues. It's lost through the following:
Students not being able to do the starter/bell task because they're busy trying to get equipment from the teacher that they've not brought
Students deciding they'll just finish their conversation before listening, this holding everyone up until a point they deem convenient for them
Students calling out or talking over peers giving answers
Students whispering among themselves instead of listening
Students not listening to instructions and then killing time talking before saying "but I don't get it" to when challenged or redirected
Students deciding that when the teacher says "do this independently" it means "everyone else do this independently except 4 or 5 of you who are obvious exceptions to this rule so must talk between you".
Going to go through homework, but students haven't got it with them

And so on.

Most students who get pulled up for those things are perfectly nice students, but their actions are disruptive.

Ps. I'm glad the school take behaviour seriously. Zero tolerance isn't my style but the system they have seems to do a good job of keeping parents in the loop.

Do talk to the teacher. Definitely avoid the hysterical MN advice about going to the head.

I would talk to the school . I don’t think the teacher has broached this in the right manner at all , I think they should have spoke to your son or you and not written something so abrupt .

"Those who are badly behaved and disruptive in any set need a rocket up their arse so they learn that they have absolutely no right whatsoever to prevent others from learning."

This x 1,000,000

Some of the replies you’ve got are ridiculous (not @LolaSmiles who sounds like a great teacher!).

You’ve listed how you’re addressing his behaviour, there is limited amounts you can do because the behaviour is at school. You could give up your job and go and sit next to him all day? I’d also argue that if the misbehaviour is occasional shouting out or laughing at the wrong time, you should leave the school to deal with that kind of behaviour - you can’t repeatedly punish a 12 year old for such a small misdemeanour, the school has their discipline processes in place for that reason.

Personally I think the teachers comment was rude and uncalled for. Especially towards a year 8. Is he just 12?