To think this won't ruin Christmas?

[CaterpillarInTheGarden]

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas ). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

I remembered there's a Chick Tract about santa. Be warned, this is what could happen.
www.chick.com/products/tract?stk=1033

you were saying children believing we're not kind and tolerant, that's bloody horrible

No I didn’t.

I was responding to the countless posters about how children who didn’t believe in FC would be mean and ruin it for others. My child never did that.

However my post has clearly hit a nerve for you to read it the way you have. Interesting.

I didn’t want to do the whole Santa but dh felt so strongly about it so we did. Even when young ds was ‘logical’ and I worried that he’d see it as lying. When we did find out, he did see it as lying and asked what else we weren’t telling the truth about.

Now that he’s almost 18 I don’t think he holds it against us but he did for quite a while!

Santa is not the spirit of Christmas, that is really quite ignorant that people honestly believe that. Is all Christmas about children being given presents? It is not about that. I feel sorry for kids brought up to believe that the spirit of Christmas is Father Christmas!

It is a legend which is now absolutely nothing like the original ‘story’ of a man who was kind and wanted to help the less fortunate than him, giving away his wealth and helping people. About 200 years ago people started using the legend as an occasion for celebration other than religious purposes and commercial gain, and also as a often used against children to threaten them into good behaviour = gifts, naughty behaviour = nothing

The spirit of Christmas is appreciating spending quality time with your family, sharing, kindness, charity, goodwill and peace. If you are religious you may also wish to celebrate your religious beliefs and spend time with others in your community at events.

I’m really glad now that Santa has never invaded our lives to the extent I think it has others, and the spirit and ‘magic’ (also cannot believe how overused this word has been) was just what we create between us having a lovely time!

Honestly OP, if you and your husband decide not to do the FC thing, it is not a big deal. There are countless parents who have done it but just don’t talk about it due to well.. obvious reasons. It doesn’t ruin Christmas despite what others think or the “magic” of Christmas. We celebrate the season and barely mention FC. Our boys haven’t noticed but they are still young. If they ask about it, we’re not going to lie about it. We’ll just ask what they think about it and go from there. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. My parents did the whole FC thing and honestly once I realised the truth very early on, I didn’t get it. My parents telling me some old guy I have never met and only seen or heard of in books was coming into our house to give me presents one day a year for being good seemed off to my six year old mind. I saw my parents place the gifts and just never told them I knew for a few years and didn’t tell anyone else. I thought it was just some ridiculous thing grown-ups do and let them get on with it. I seriously wouldn’t worry about it. Any child these days could look it up on the Internet and find out the truth if they really want to know. The magic of Christmas doesn’t start or end with FC, the magic is in spending time with family and friends, helping those in need, being kind to people, good will, etc..

@JacquesHammer yep hit a nerve, that you can come on a forum and talk such utter bollocks. I'm quite happy that my two children are not mean etc, but you've reacted very strongly to this thread, so what nerve has it touched with you?

@PookieDo why do you buy any presents at Christmas? What makes you do that, peer pressure? But you seem so resolute but don't carry it through, how very very odd.

Just because I don’t buy into Santa doesn’t mean we don’t do any of the traditions at all, we buy gifts of love, joy and affection for children the same as you do a birthday. But the day is not centred around giving gifts whatsoever, it’s not the focus and is one very very small part. We often buy items like games which are not presents for any one person, they are something for everyone to share and enjoy. DC and I spent a whole day last year making really lovely food gifts for everyone and a lot of thought and effort went into it.

The DC do not write Argos catalogue sized lists, no one is getting up at 5am to rip open a mountain of presents. There are no Christmas Eve boxes. I have no objection to anyone enjoying a lovely gift, but that’s not ‘magical’ it is just a nice feeling.

We go and stay at a relatives house and it’s a lovely opportunity to all spend 2 days together eating and playing games and having fun.

I have had to work on many christmases, including last year, and I think spending time with people who have no family and are lonely at Christmas can give you a different perspective of the meaning of the day.

I took DC into London at night and we went to a Christmas market for street food and to see all the lights.

I also give to charity, especially at Christmas and also volunteer for various things locally. Last year I took some older ladies to church who struggle to get out of their homes, and who are lonely (I am not religious myself). We also donate gifts to local children’s charities

Is there anything else you would like to know?

There are elements of Christmas I don’t like, and greed is one of them. I am sorry it seems to jangle a nerve but it won’t be long until the whole of Mumsnet is full of ‘I hate my family and don’t want to spend Christmas with them’ or ‘how much do YOU spend on your DC at Xmas’ and ‘I am really stressed I can’t afford Christmas this year’ threads where everyone will just tell people that you don’t need to spend time with people you don’t like, you don’t need to spend loads of money and you certainly don’t need to buy into the pressure of creating ‘magical’ christmases.

Plenty of people will be alone at Christmas and theirs won’t be so magical, yes I do think about them when I see I am privileged to have a loving family. I do find it really distasteful to see how far parents will go to essentially pay money for ‘magic’ when you do not need to

to be pedantic about it, giving the children an already made up story and person is not them using their imagination at all. You are controlling the whole narrative and you introduced them to it and reinforce it. There are aspects of imagination because they are believing in something that isn’t real but they didn’t think of it themselves. They are only excited about it because it symbolises being given presents

The spirit of Christmas is appreciating spending quality time with your family, sharing, kindness, charity, goodwill and peace. If you are religious you may also wish to celebrate your religious beliefs and spend time with others in your community at events

This is your opinion and what Christmas means to you. I wonder why you celebrate Christmas at all though, as you are not religious yourself? You seem to be judging people for getting sucked into the whole Father Christmas thing but if you are not religious but partake in all the non-religious side of things then surely you've been sucked in just as much as the rest of us? You just haven't let your children enjoy the experience and excitement of Father Christmas.

@pookieDo I totally agree.

I’m not judging, this is a thread about Father Christmas
I think FC is vastly overdone for children, and children do not understand what Christmas is really about. It’s not just about grottos and sleighs. It would be nice if everyone taught their DC the other meanings/spirit and not just all about who is bringing you what and when. Ask your children what Christmas is about. If you are a Santa household they will probably just say Santa and have no awareness of anything else - it’s all getting lost year on year. The grottos get bigger and flashier, there is some new gimmick that comes along

@PookieDo the meaning of Christmas is surely the birth of Christ?

Of course it won't ruin Christmas. Santa Claus doesn't exist so why lie? You can tell him a magical story about Santa which will capture his imagination but not that it's real.

I’m not religious. For some religious people Christmas is about the birth of Christ. For non religious people it has another meaning. One of those meanings is Santa. By all means indulge your children in the fantasy and spend what you want. To me, my opinion is that is is an unnecessary vacuous vain uncharitable practice

the meaning of Christmas is surely the birth of Christ?

It existed before Jesus/that story. So no. Not for me.

The Christians stole the winter festival from the pagans (along with the majority of its symbols which still exist today) and layered their own story over it.

We seem to have the same approach, Pookie

I definitely felt pressure about Santa when my DC were small from friends and family, and often thought well is it not good and magical enough a Christmas if they aren’t going to see an amazing grotto and get given a really good present. Does Santa bring big things or small? I was really glad when DD1 didn’t want to do Santa and DD2 was not particularly bothered about him. I was putting so much pressure on myself through what you see on social media. The sheer cost of Winter Wonderland type places vs the rubbish reality of them isn’t worth all the stress. People feel socially pressured into creating these magical experiences for their children every single year

Christmas is definitely about the birth of Christ. It’s in the name.
Certainly earlier celebrations took place and most major religions have a festival of light around that time. Christmas, however, is about the birth of Christ.
Christmas at its very best is, as PookieDo says, more than an list of presents children don’t need. It is a feast based in giving - even Father Christmas/Santa Claus/St Nicholas is about Christianity and giving.
Ours have always been taught it’s more about shared meals, Charity and love. They have presents aplenty but have always been required to give a present from their pile to the local collection that goes Church in the morning and onto the prison visitor centre for children whose parent has no other way of giving them a present.
Christmas is about peace and goodwill. We do still track Santa though, we still put out stockings and we still believe in the magic.

I work in HR. Every year the credit union sends leaflets advertising Christmas loans for staff.

Christmas is definitely about the birth of Christ. It’s in the name

If Iceland changed its name to Waitrose.....

I don't get all the grief about missing out on the magic.
We had all the magic of Christmas.
Visiting Santa's grotto, putting out glitter oats for the reindeer, carrots and a glass of something left out for Santa with bites and drinks taken in the night.
A pile of toys appearing in the living room stockings filled (once they've finally fallen asleep).
We just didn't push the story of him being real. It was just a story.

Yes @Bumply - my youngest dd liked to believe in the story but I always just told her it was a story if she asked. But I also told her that she was free to believe in what she chose.

putting out glitter oats for the reindeer,

Forgetting/ignoring that feeding glitter to imaginary reindeer kills other animals and puts plastic in the ocean. 🤦🏻‍♀️