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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this won't ruin Christmas?

978 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 09:14

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas Hmm). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

OP posts:
Roozy123 · 25/09/2019 14:33

I love that my kids believe there is a Santa.

How excited they get knowing that he's coming! They're kids... life is hard enough, let them believe in something ALOT of kids around them will be too.

If you say "santa is a lie" I feel like In a way you're not just taking some thing away from your child but yourself too!
Also.... if you are going to do this be prepared for some pretty pissed off parents when your child decides when the mention of Santa comes up they decide to mention it's a lie and not true.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 25/09/2019 14:42
Baguetteaboutit · 25/09/2019 14:46

Oh, are we playing ridiculous top trumps?

I blame Santa and his extensive international travel and the current entitlement that the masses have to take the plane to wherever they fancy which will ultimately lead to the death of the Earth.

Retired65 · 25/09/2019 14:48

My son is married to a girl whose family never did the Father Christmas/Santa Claus thing. Although she was told not to say there was no such thing as Father Christmas/Santa Claus to other children. I am not sure what they will do when they have children of their own.

My son worked out there wasn't a FC/SC at the age of 5, luckily his sister was older and when he asked me giving me all the reasons why there couldn't be one, I thought it was quite clever of him.

Easter Bunny, Naughty Elf wasn't around when my 2 were young but I wouldn't do those if they were children now.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 25/09/2019 14:53

which will ultimately lead to the death of the Earth.

It’s the death of the sun (in about a million years) that will kill the earth. Until then it will exist regardless.

Humans, on the other hand, have a max of 1000 years left. Hopefully fewer, given the absolute mess we’re making of it.

ProhibitedRodent · 25/09/2019 15:00

@madcatladyforever Christ, how awful. That just sounds an elaborate excuse to be stingy! Your son DID miss out though.
I have some magical memories of Christmas.

LaurieMarlow · 25/09/2019 15:00

getting into debt with often less than legal moneylenders to fund the all important Santa extravaganza

I don’t think anyone on here has advocated getting into debt and illegal money lending for funding Christmas activities (whether than involves literal belief in Santa or not).

PookieDo · 25/09/2019 16:05

Re commercialism and Christmas, it is an environmental grenade in its own right

1 billion Christmas cards
83km square of wrapping paper
125,000 tons of plastic
6 million trees thrown away
20,000 tons of meat

For 1 day.

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 16:33

@PookieDo is that relevant to FC? You yourself said that you wrapped presents straight away so you didn't need to hide them and play along with the FC game. Why don't you continue hiding them and then no need to wrap them, imagine if everyone did that?

MotherOfLittlePeople · 25/09/2019 16:35

Why would you do that? Will you do the same about the Easter bunny? Tooth fairy?

Let them have fun and enjoy the magic. Plus how are you going to stop him ruining it for other children?

PookieDo · 25/09/2019 16:47

I did wrap mine, usually in recycled paper, not all individually to make it look like more, and on a relatively modest budget. My family do do gifts but children only and there is a set amount to spend depending on children’s ages. No one is getting into debt, no one is over spending. I don’t actually have a Christmas tree either. I don’t send cards. And no I don’t fly abroad either before anyone trots that one out.

It has nothing to do with FC? There is no connection that you can see?

In all seriousness, it is not even surprising people are offended and defensive about anyone bringing up anything negative about Christmas.

It’s a very wasteful time of year. People (in general, and we all witness it) seem to lose all rational sense of what is normal. It is mainly enjoyed by people of privilege and people less fortunate often find themselves in debt trying to pay for it.

The kindness of Christmas is only important if it doesn’t impact you, as demonstrated perfectly here by all the people who would be full of rage if another child told their child FC might not be real.

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 16:50

@PookieDo the thread is about FC, that's the relevance?

People in general don't, some do! It's those you hear about not the 1000s that don't.

Justontherightsideofnormal · 25/09/2019 17:30

Christmas in our house has always been about family and food. Children get presents but only things needed or/and a gift they would really like (superdry hoodie/converse/iPad/ tv/ makita drill (😆) )
I’ve cut out all gifts to adults in our family as I hate receiving a gift that was bought for the sake of it that went down like a sack of shit with some I give the nieces and nephews money for their bank and chocolate and only sent Christmas cards to elderly relatives. We have a great time.
I never made a big deal about Santa, we didn’t visit the North Pole or pay extortionate prices to eat breakfast with him but equally I didn’t say he wasn’t real. What I did say when asked if he was real was...... it’s up to you if you believe or not. Worked well in our house

Boobiliboobiliboo · 25/09/2019 17:40

Similar here, Just. We see and visit people, stay up all night stargazing, eat well etc. Often go on holiday and defer Xmas to February (or July). Don’t buy presents for anyone but DD, and those are token things really. She gets money from my family. DH’s family don’t buy her anything so we don’t buy for the 8 nieces and nephews either. No Xmas cards to clutter up the place. We usually have a tree with simple lights (pagan). Fairy lights stay up all year.

We often work over Xmas and New Year. I work with people who still do stockings for their 30+ year old children and can’t contemplate not dedicating 2 weeks to preparing a magical Xmas for them.

sueH1983 · 25/09/2019 17:42

Last Christmas was the first Christmas DS1 “got” the Santa thing and it was truly magical for all of us. I don’t know why you would deny your child, or yourself, of that experience.

JacquesHammer · 25/09/2019 17:58

It may be misguided, but it’s coming from a well meaning place

You think the comments on this thread are well-meaning Grin

You think it’s well meaning, I think it’s arrogance. I would rather raise a child (without FC!) who grows up to be kind, and tolerant of others beliefs than one who believes in FC but grows up the way some posters on this thread have.

If that’s an advert for believing in FC, you can keep him!

Janl · 25/09/2019 18:09

Sorry - but I agree with MIL - i have 10 grandchildren and to see the magic on their little faces is just brilliant - the older ones obviously understand but they have never spoilt it for the little ones. Please re-think this one - good luck.

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 18:22

We often work over Xmas and New Year. I work with people who still do stockings for their 30+ year old children and can’t contemplate not dedicating 2 weeks to preparing a magical Xmas for them.

Are you the time police, people can do what they want with the spare time they have! Bloody hell its ridiculous that sone people thing they're better than others because they can't be arsed to make an effort.

JacquesHammer · 25/09/2019 18:34

Bloody hell its ridiculous that sone people thing they're better than others because they can't be arsed to make an effort

No more ridiculous than people thinking they’re better than others because they choose to tell a Christmas story in a different way!

choli · 25/09/2019 18:45

This thread should be cited for overuse of the word magic.

pollymere · 25/09/2019 19:07

Santa is the spirit of Christmas. I've seen kids really upset and angry when their parents told them too early. They were crushed. A kid in Year 7 needs the truth not a toddler! Do you want him to have to lie, or miss out on Santa's Grotto or putting a stocking out?

You can always say big presents from us, little ones from Santa.

boptist · 25/09/2019 19:23

I knew a couple who didn’t let their children believe in Father Christmas so that when they found out, they didn’t then start to think Jesus and God were also made up.

spanglydangly · 25/09/2019 19:23

@JacquesHammer you were saying children believing we're not kind and tolerant, that's bloody horrible.

You're children are boring and mean, is that fair and right?

myself2020 · 25/09/2019 19:33

To be honest, thus thread has confirmed my position on not having santa in our house. i gave hardly every seen a more narrow minded and mean spirited group than the Santa supporters here. Very much NOT in the spirit of christmas to accuse people ....

choli · 25/09/2019 19:35

I knew a couple who didn’t let their children believe in Father Christmas so that when they found out, they didn’t then start to think Jesus and God were also made up.
I find that is quite common here in the US among religious families.