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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this won't ruin Christmas?

978 replies

CaterpillarInTheGarden · 23/09/2019 09:14

Mil was saying it won't be long until dc will believe in santa-claus (dc is only 22 months so surely it would be next Christmas not the upcoming Christmas Hmm). I mentioned we were thinking of not doing the whole santa-claus thing and telling him the truth. Mil said how awful I was, and I will be ruining Christmas for my dc and that I'm a very selfish women.

AIBU to think that's a over reaction and it won't ruin Christmas. Any of you not do the whole santa-claus thing for Christmas?

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 23/09/2019 09:25

Just make sure your kid doesn’t spoil it for the others.

Blondebakingmumma · 23/09/2019 09:26

I think your MIL is overreacting. BUT, I do think you are being a bit mean. It was the highlight of my childhood

CalmFizz · 23/09/2019 09:26

And everyone does Father Christmas in their own way.

Some people say everything under the tree came from him, others that it’s simply the stocking or one designated gift. Each family comes at it in their own way, I’m sure you could find a way that works for you, but fundamentally it’s a wonderful shared experience for the children to believe in something magical.

Blondebakingmumma · 23/09/2019 09:26

It is your and your dh’s Decision, so she shouldn’t get a say in what you decide to do

Windydaysuponus · 23/09/2019 09:26

Bah bloody humbug op.
A mil support thread -
There a Monday morning surprise!!

Crystal87 · 23/09/2019 09:27

Don't do it. They aren't kids for long and he won't have the fun memories of Christmas that other kids do. The world can be a miserable place when you're an adult, don't ruin the innocence and magic of Christmas for a young child.

Guardsman18 · 23/09/2019 09:27

Don't do that to him! It's a lovely time in life for you too.

When my ds was 3 he was terrified of the strange man coming into the house while we were asleep.

I still didn't tell him though and put his presents in the porch. He's very thoughtful is Santa!

Saddler · 23/09/2019 09:27

I agree with the mil

Doingtheboxerbeat · 23/09/2019 09:28

Is this anything to do with religion, because that would be understandable to not want your child to be raised with something you don't believe in but this is so different as I have never met an adult that still believes in santa.

Doyoumind · 23/09/2019 09:28

I've heard on here of other people doing this but you either tell them Father Christmas is a lie and they ruin it for other children at nursery and school or you don't tell them anything and they feel left out. When you see a child's face at Christmas time it's so lovely and magical when they believe.

keepingbees · 23/09/2019 09:28

She should respect your wishes, but I can't help but think you will be taking the magic out of Christmas. They grow up and know the truth soon enough, why not enjoy the few years of magic they can have.
Just think, you'll never be able to take your child to see Santa. Never be able to leave out milk and a mince pie. Never have the excitement of 'has he been...'

Pumperthepumper · 23/09/2019 09:28

Is that you Hobbit?

alwayscauseastir · 23/09/2019 09:28

It might not ruin it for you, but think about what it could do for others. My family members love talking about Santa to my girls, it's magical. Plus, you'd need to keep your child away from other kids around Christmas time as they would be telling other kids, and spoiling it for them.

ScottishMummy12 · 23/09/2019 09:28

If you do make sure your child knows not to tell anyone the truth. When my dd was 3 a boy in her nursery told the entire nursery class that Santa wasn't real this was while the kids were waiting for Santa to come into the nursery. His parents had decided not to do Santa for him.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/09/2019 09:29

The magic lasts only a few short years anyway - they suss it out soon enough. IMO it's just miserable to deprive little kids of that. And no matter what you say, they will inevitably tell other children, which will make you very unpopular with other parents.

What I did, after some miserable killjoy woman told my dd at only 5 that there was no Father Christmas, was to say that X had probably been so naughty when she was little that FC never came, so no wonder she didn't believe in him.
Happy to say that worked fine.,

Aderyn19 · 23/09/2019 09:29

I'm with your mil too. Believing in Father Christmas is part of the magic and it's also very hard to stop a small child from telling other kids.
There is a kind of an international collective agreement that we all tell our kids the same story. Don't be ballsing it up for other parents as well as your DC.

Oysterbabe · 23/09/2019 09:30

I agree that you sound like a fun sponge. Father Christmas was one of the most exciting parts of being a small child. It's lovely for children to have a bit of magic in their lives and it's only for a few short years.

RebootYourEngine · 23/09/2019 09:30

You need to be very careful how you do this because when your DC goes to school you don't want them spoiling it for others.

Bouledeneige · 23/09/2019 09:31

I don't know what doing the whole Santa Claus thing means but I don't know why you'd tell your child it's not true. I still have never admitted to my kids that Father Christmas doesn't exist and they are 19 and 17. We have a lot of fun with it! (Despite the fact they saw a bag of stocking presents under my bed years ago).

Catapillarsruletheworld · 23/09/2019 09:31

Why would you want to suck the magic out of Christmas.

Your kid will be the little kill joy in the class, when all their friends are talking about Santa they’ll be going “my parents said he doesn’t exist” queue 30 distraught 5 year olds!

JulietTango · 23/09/2019 09:32

And you'll have to teach them not to blurt it out in front of their friends

This. When i worked in an infant school, there were often a coupe of children who knew and they usually took great delight in telling their peers Santa didn't exist. They then got upset when they were told off too

NataliaOsipova · 23/09/2019 09:33

You see, I have a lot of sympathy with the OP on this. I’ve bowed to pressure to do the whole Father Christmas thing, but fundamentally I hate the idea of telling outright lies to children..... (I’m not remotely “alternative”, by the way!)

Boobiliboobiliboo · 23/09/2019 09:33

We just never did anything to make it appear real. DD had the scientific arguments against it worked out by age 6 anyway. Now 9 there don’t seem to be any lasting effects.

Make your own magic. There’s enough of it in winter and family time together for us without outright lying about a bloke in a red suit.

Be prepared for people to look at you like you have 19 heads though, and the barrage of Santa shite from everyone else will keep you busy from Sept at least.

thecatsthecats · 23/09/2019 09:33

My parents went to huge lengths to lie to us about Father Christmas, and I'm so glad they did.

We would be sent to bed on Christmas Eve, then they'd wake us up for midnight mass. We'd feel the stockings on our way out to the car, and all be out within a minute or two of each other. Then we'd run in first back from the church at midnight and he'd already been.

Brilliant fun.

hookiwooki · 23/09/2019 09:33

Sorry, but I think that's awful. Either your DS will ruin it for his friends, or his friends will all still believe and your DS will wonder why Santa doesn't come for him. What about when his friends say how good they were and your DS must be bad, how will he feel? How will you handle that?

They're little for a such a very short time, let him have some magic while he can!