To have a list of deal breakers? JUST FOR FUN!

[Pennypringles]

I'm very recently single so not anywhere near ready to mingle. I'm 48 and know what I want though. Thinking far into future dating any potential partner would have to meet certain criteria (my kids obviously) and certain things would be deal breakers. I couldn't date a racist for example. Probably not a smoker. I'd need to know their politics and views on Brexit 🤣
Just for fun what would your deal breakers be?
What questions would you ask?
It's all sounding a bit Rosie Project!

Glad you thought to put "light-hearted" (in caps...) in the title, OP

My bar's low:
Must have reading comprehension skills of a 6 year old
Does not cycle as a "hobby"
Not a sports' fan

Couldn't imagine anything worse than someone who wanted always to follow their team/watch the match or thought clogging up country lanes whilst dressed tin lycra was a suitable past-time for weekends... (Light-hearted, obviously )

“Racist
Sexist
Transphobic
Homophobic
Misogynistic
Poor personal hygiene
'My ex was a psycho'
Lazy around the house
Voted for Brexit
Tory
Unintelligent
A gamer”

All of the above other than ‘lazy around the house’

I felt similarly about grammar as some PPs, until I met DP who is dyslexic but one of the most brilliant people I know. I couldn’t ever put something like that on a list now, it seems dickish and ableist.

Or, in the style of the OP, "JUST FOR FUN!"

(Naturally, irl, a narrow-minded, misogynist bigot is much more my style...)

All the main ones plus
Tight with money
No ambition
No desire to travel

Well reading these my long list just got longer! I forgot about jealousy and "all my exes are psychos". (thanks PP's)

Being a fan of Jeremy Clarkson or Noel Edmonds, having a big beardy beard, being a hipster and being scared of spiders - We would have zero chance of a LTR.

Must have tattoos.

Must not be hard right, hard left or into any politics / causes / ‘wokeness’ in any strong way.

Not faddy with food
Must love dogs
Must be clean
Must be calm
Must be solvent
Must be handy
Must not be ist
Must not be vulgar
No tattoos or piercings
Not a smoker

Posted too soon.

Must be over 5ft 9 and must be big framed with a bit of meat on them but also muscly but not in a ‘gym freak’ way. So basically the physique of Worlds Strongest Man big arms and some belly fat.

Must never under any circumstances wear ‘man sandals’.

Must not be religious.

Sexist

Racist
Homophobic
Has kids
Unemployed
Lives with parents or in a househare
Debts
Smoker
Excessive drinker
Very overweight

Religious
Vegan
Takes drugs

They keep coming to me.

Deal breakers:

Left winger
Corbyn supporter
Religious
Under 5'9"
Smoker
Drug taker
Skinny
Multiple children
Dishonest
Tattoos
Superiority complex
Lazy
Badly paid job
Not willing to share housework
Crappy, beaten up car
Hates animals
Rude about exes
Swearing AT me
Excessive clinginess.

Mummy's boy.

Smoking
Tattoos
Not eating meat
Not drinking
Left wing politics
Children
Low paid
Non traveller
Overweight
No interest in foreign languages
Piercings
More than a decade off my age, either side
Drugs
Disliking 80s music, fashion and TV
Non-tipper

Probably more, but that's a start.

The basics – intelligent, thoughtful, not racist, not sexist etc, not mean, not controlling, not prone to violence, respectful of others, kind to waiters, children and the elderly – go without saying.

The big one for me is that he needs to understand that he's responsible for his own happiness. I had a long early relationship with someone who was depressive and who seemed to think it was my job to make him happy.

Otherwise...

Relatively clean
Relatively tidy around the house
Able to laugh at himself and life and me without making me feel humiliated
Moderate drinker, no recreational drugs, no smoking, no vaping
Relatively competent: able to cook, clean, drive and do some basic DIY
Not clingy
Calm in an emergency
Financially independent/ solvent
Able to get on with pet projects without requiring me to help
Appreciative and respectful of difference. I'm a great reader, he'd rather be out on his bike.

I have a partner who fits most of those criteria. We still have a way to go on the projects situation. He is building a studio in the garden which he plans to use as a workroom. He expects that I will be happy to stand around for hours while he decides what needs hammering in next or waiting for the moment when he needs me to hold something in position. We are working on this.

I'm not perfect either.

Not a paedophile, and no drugs - though I wouldn't necessarily mind a criminal record gained through, for example, ethical activism.

Not a pompous bore or a mansplainer.

Smokes (disgusting)
Drug user (coke/ weed) again vile
Poor hygiene
Unfit / fat
Poor diet
Bites nails
Has kids
Poor sense of style
No drive or determination

Oh god I hope some people are actually joking on these and not been serious! I know it's light hearted but it's no wonder people are single if these are their expectations!

As long as they were a decent human and they could make me laugh they would be my only deal breakers

What on earth is a male "Lesian" @SpamChaudFroid ?

• Lives at home age 35+
• Non-drivers
• Unemployed
• Piercings
• Bald or shaved heads
• Wants to have babies (I dont, so lets not waste each others time)

- Smokers

• Wants a travel buddy / must travel at least four times a year (I have a job, a home and a child, I can't join you on a six month tour of Asia unfortunately)

Not being able to do simple DIY tasks
Not being able to drive
Shit sense of humour
Too posh
Tight with money
Mummy’s boy
Has DC but doesn’t see them/support them financially
Very into computer games

obvious biggies aside (racism/sexism/violence etc), the main one would be excessive use of hair products and/or an overly complicated fashiony hair do.

Basically, must be an average adult, as in able to run their own home etc. No racism, homophobia, bad hygiene. Able to empathise with others.

My own personal additions

Non smoker. Doesn't drink to excess.
Not right wing or happy to agree to disagree.
Not religious or otherwise, open minded and accepting of other religions/atheism.
No one who has problems with dating a woman over 6ft who sometimes wears heels.
Not someone on the go all the time. I have a chronic health condition and sometimes I just need to stay home.
Must love animals.
Doesn't have an all consuming hobby or is willing to scale it back a bit to allow for decent amount of time together

I am married, but when I met my DH he lived at home, was a mummy's boy and didn't have any ambition, so am fine with some of the other deal breakers listed.

Not a smoker/vaper
Not a heavy drinker
Not a sulker, been there before , fuck that shit.
Nobody with small children (mine are young adults, I am done with the kid stuff).
Must be calm and reasonable, no time for know it all or arseholes that are always right even when they are not and try and shout you down/talk over you, or aggressive twats. Again, been there, fuck that shit.
No chewed up nails/fingers.
Not too loud/obnoxious/look at me.
Must like cats.
Capable, can look after themselves properly and happy to do what they need to (cooking, cleaning, laundry, repairs/DIY, organisation etc).
Not vegan/veggie. I love to cook, and I am a bit of a feeder.
Must understand that I am mostly an introvert, and while I love a good night out with mates when I want to, I need plenty of time to myself to recharge.
Don't think I'd actually want to live with someone full time either, so they'd have to be OK with that.
No right wing politics.
If religious must be OK with me not being at all religious, and also not being interested in religion.

I don't think I could actually be bothered with another relationship really, I'm certainly not actively looking.