To think she brought it all on herself

[FirstTimeMummyDS88]

Link to previous thread

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3635012-to-be-over-the-moon-my-dp-has-finally-took-his-balls-out-of-mummy-s-handbag-and-told-her-where-to-go

So I anyone has read my previous threads about my horrendous relationship with my PIL and SIL you will know we have been completely NC for a while now since we found out I'm pregnant with our second baby (we have a 16 month old DS and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with DS2)

Myself and DP got married last Saturday, it was a very small registry office wedding and it was only my family and we had 2 friends each there. DP (oh it's DH now haha) has gone tonight to break the news to his parents. Even after everything I'm sitting here now imagining how i would feel missing my sons wedding and I start to feel bad for her but then I know when DH gets home he will tell me how she said I'm the devil and it's al my fault and how I've stolen her boys again

OP you have married him and this iant resolved. I am NC with my parents. I couldnt care less. Never mind not be able to bare them hearing news.

This will keep causing drama and you are dwelling on it because you, I think, are hoping it does upset them.

Going NC means disengaging. Neither of you have.

@spanglydangly

I agree with you
I'm completely NC and so is DS, I do think that DH is struggling with NC but I would rather be just say that he wants to keep some low contact than use this as an excuse. I did tell him to just phone or text her but he said it should be in person. Yeah I'm angry that he's not taken how I feel into account but what can I do?
We've been married a week and we are arguing already so I just said "do what you want but I don't want any part of it"

So your AIBU has nothing to do with anything in your post. It’s about him going there and you didn’t want him to? But you feel guilty about it. Not making much sense really. Still not sure of the point.

I know when DH gets home he will tell me how she said I'm the devil and it's al my fault and how I've stolen her boys again

You sound like you’re loving every second of this latest drama OP. Even your thread title is misleading. I think you’ve seen the responses and backtracked as the replies were not what you were hoping for.

@Yabbers

Ok so maybe my AIBU should have been "should I be angry at husband for engaging with Parents when supposed to be NC"

As the title of your thread is AIBU ‘to think she brought it all on herself’ I’m sure you can understand why some of us think you sound slightly gloating and are sceptical of your claim that you feel guilty and want nothing further to do with the whole situation?

OP, you're so disingenuous. You said that you will tell your husband 'that you don't want to know about it' yet you're pretty gleeful about being called a devil.

The more you post the more I feel that your MIL is matched by you.

For your children's sake, stop this before it really does get out of hand.

@MaryBerriesNiece

Oh yeah I'm loving arguing with my new DH 8 days into our marriage. I'll be honest I didn't feel bad for his parents, I haven't thought about them for weeks and it's been wonderful and that will probably make me sound horrid big I don't care because it's the most stress free I've been in years. If I'm honest I think the reason I'm having all the conflicting feelings now is I'm worried it's all going to kick off again and I'm thinking oh maybe we were wrong for doing it the way we did. I didn't want him to go and he want anyway, yeah I think he's an arsehole for doing so but what can I do?

But you sound like you DO want any part of it. You’ve gone NC with in-laws, your DH is struggling with it, he’s gone round to tell them news that will upset and hurt them. Meanwhile, you’re posting on an Internet forum looking for validation that you’ve done the right thing? Is that what you want? Or sympathy from everyone that you suddenly feel bad about doing something that will hurt the family of your DH, who he loves enough not to go NC?

Genuinely don’t know what you want.

@Sn0tnose

I have said maybe I should have used a different title.

So why does YABU say "to think SHE brought this on or herself" it should read "Ive been married one week and already my husband is ignoring my feelings on a major issue".

I'm not sure who SHE relates to, either MIL or SIL I presume but it's such a very gloating title.

i'm completely NC and so is DS

Well bully for DS, I'm sure at 16 months he thought long and hard before disengaging with his GPs.

Hope you aren't using his NC as another stick to beat the GPs with. It was your decision, not his.

What a drama queen. Did we really need yet another thread. Couldn't you have updated on your last one. Or the one before

Driftingleaves that was an unnecessarily nasty post to Etino

But having yet MORE conflict, this time with your DH of 8 days does imply that you should try and be more chill, pregnant or not

So @FirstTimeMummyDS88 your AIBU is should your be angry with DH as after only 8 days he's changing the goalpost of.backing me up with his toxic family? The answer would be he is totally out of order, just because you're now married doesn't mean he can change the goalposts as you're committed,he should still have respect.

TBH now after 8 days disrespecting your feelings I far from ideal.

@Derbee

Which is why I have said to him to do what he wants and let's not discuss it anymore

Oh FFS - loads of people not familiar with your previous threads it would seem

Firstly, congratulations on your marriage, what lovely news!

Secondly, please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t argue with him about this. They are not worth it. You know how it’s going to go, just support where you can, he’s going to be upset and angry when he gets home.

And don’t feel REMOTELY sorry for her, she caused this herself

And of course your baby being NC is a weapon against your in-laws

@spanglydangly

I agree maybe I should have used that instead, I am angry with him but what can I do? He doesn't see that it's just going to make things 100 times worse

@Derbee

It was actually DH who said they could no longer see our DS. I said they could have supervised visits (supervised by DH)

@FirstTimeMummyDS88 but if you’re still discussing it here, it’s still occupying head space isn’t it. So the fact that your DH and you don’t agree on a massive life choice is going to cause issues. Especially if you give the impression that you enjoy the drama in any way

When is he due back?

@ohfourfoxache

Thankyou

I have said I'm not going to argue with him about this. This should be the happiest time of our lives, we're newly married, just found out we're having another little boy and DS1 has finally been discharged from the hospital for his development delays and is now crawling (it's a nightmare he tried to climb into the washing machine yesterday 😂)

It might make things 100 times BETTER

The shittier she is the more your dh will want to stay away

Trust me, things went nuclear with my ILs and dh disengaged; we’ve not seen FIL since

Give them enough rope and all that.....

Yeah I'm angry that he's not taken how I feel into account but what can I do?

No where in your op did you mention this. This wasnt what the posts was for. It was for something else completely. Nothing to so with not wanting him to go round.

I read your last thread and suspected you are quite engaged with the drama of all this and you seem to be doing it again.