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'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

231 replies

MinxyMoos · 22/09/2019 12:32

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 22/09/2019 16:27

She's not 50 and I don't think she's a troll.
She mentioned being pregnant with twins on someone else's thread where she mentions this problem, but got little in the way of replies.

SconeofDestiny · 22/09/2019 16:33

2 x 6lb10oz twins. Come off it. Grin

angieloumc · 22/09/2019 16:37

I think you sound horrible OP, smug and self satisfied. Your 'friend' doesn't seem that much better but I'm not surprised she's out of your life, you sound insufferable.
Are you sure your life is as marvellous as you make out?

Acidburn · 22/09/2019 16:43

I had a friend from high school, who I remained friends with afterwards. I had quite a bad relationship with my ex, and she was always there so I could cry on her shoulder. However everything changed when I met my DP. She didn't like him from the start, always had comments about everything. Her own telationships never seemed tovwork though, because she has really high criteria in regards to men (she is a spoiled brat comes from quite a wealthy family). And after my DP proposed and I asked her to be my bridesmaid - she completely cut me off from her life. She stopped answering my texts and my calls. I didn't insist. I guess she could never get over the fact that her poorer, fatter, less fortunate (ha ha!) friend got married first. 6 years later today, and she is still single as far as I know.

QuimJongUn · 22/09/2019 16:43

1/10

'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?
QuimJongUn · 22/09/2019 16:44

@Sagradafamiliar 😂🤣

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/09/2019 16:51

I really feel for you OP.I lost a friend who was jealous of my diamond mining business then when I got pregnant with puppy triplets that slept through the night she disappeared from my life.

Hey1256 · 22/09/2019 16:53

To be honest those saying people disappear after their babies maybe it's your behaviour that's driven them away?

I've lost many friends after they have babies and trust me
It's not because I'm jealous of them.

It's because sometimes they turn into self centred people that think they're the only people on the planet to have a baby and think the world revolves around them now and some people get fed up with it.

Perhaps that's the reason you lost your 'friend'

angieloumc · 22/09/2019 16:56

Acidburn of course, because being married is the only way you can have a fulfilling life 😳

funnylittlefloozie · 22/09/2019 16:59

sagradafamiliar brilliant Smile

On the twin trolling thing, we had a poster on another forum who allegedly had triplets. She turned up a number of times under various guises, and then strted appearing on other forums. The giveaway was always that the triplets were being blue-lighted to hospital.

OneOfOurOwn · 22/09/2019 17:02

Blimey.

PennyNotSoWise · 22/09/2019 17:05

@PrincessHoneysuckle
then when I got pregnant with puppy triplets that slept through the night

Envy It's not fucking fair! I work so so hard for my boss to bring home wads and wads and wads of money, I'm practically perfect in every way but incredibly humble, and I only get one boring baby! What am I doing wrong? Fuck you PrincessHoneysuckle. Fuck you. I wouldn't want to be your friend either.

Bouffalant · 22/09/2019 17:08

.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/09/2019 17:11

@PennyNotSoWise you dont choose this life, this life chooses you 😁🐶

Acidburn · 22/09/2019 17:12

@angieloumc of course not, but how else would you explain that my friend of 10 years cuts me off excatly after I get engaged? You know what they say - “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success". I know for a fact she couldn't find a boyfriend because she only dates rich, good looking, successful men, but for some reason they don't stay around! I do not think that marriage is an ultimate goal, but I am pretty sure she has been after it for a while now. She is beautiful, career successful and comes from a good family, but she is also a first class spoiled bitch, so no wonder no one wants to be bear her.

Acidburn · 22/09/2019 17:12

Sorry, typing quickly on the phone

angieloumc · 22/09/2019 17:15

Again, not having a partner or being married doesn't mean you can't lead a fulfilling life.
If she was so horrible, why were you friends with her in the first place? It doesn't sound like you like her.

Momo01 · 22/09/2019 17:18

Place mark

Monday55 · 22/09/2019 17:23

Everything your friend does you're interpreting/presuming it to be jealousy. Sounds like you feed off her 'so called jealousy'. You like how she feeds your ego otherwise you'd have got rid of her decades ago! pathetic!

Bunnyfuller · 22/09/2019 17:27

@PrincessHoneysuckle 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Proper laughed out loud then. Want to join in but yours is too perfect 😂😂😂😂😂

PennyNotSoWise · 22/09/2019 17:32

@PrincessHoneysuckle It's hairy hands, isn't it? That's the answer, that's what I'm doing wrong...I need to sprout some hair on my hands.

This life didn't choose you at all, you fibber...I bet you live under a bridge, too! I'ma grow some hair and buy a bridge. This time next year I'll have Quad Pups, you watch me. Better than yours. Grin

ariamontgomery · 22/09/2019 17:36

This is either fake, or you just DESPERATELY want her to be jealous of you. I very much doubt she’s jealous because you have one more child than she does Hmm grow up

RunsForGummyBears · 22/09/2019 17:38

You do you OP Biscuit

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/09/2019 17:41

@PennyNotSoWise no hairy hands here i get them waxed weekly by my personal live in beautician

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/09/2019 17:43

You sound a bit gloaty, tbh. It sounds like you’ve got the one thing she wants more that anything else in the world. It’s not nice, op to rub people’s noses in things.
There’s no law that you have to congratulate pregnant women