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AIBU?

'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

231 replies

MinxyMoos · 22/09/2019 12:32

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

OP posts:
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thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 22/09/2019 14:50

1/10

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Preciosaundostres · 22/09/2019 14:53

Congratulation's on the birth of your twins 😊💕 sounds like this female is very insecure and has much work to do on herself. I have a friend like this a persons actions tell you everything you need to know although they cannot resist verbally she is miserable in her own life and you are getting the brunt of her misery. Let her go like a flame going out in a cool breeze thats what i do if she calls answer if you want to if you dont well evwn better but keep it low key be pleasent it kills them keep out her company and sail away gracefully until she she finds herself and becomes a better person she will never change and she knows you are the better person keep being you and enjoy your lovely family and as for her what a sad existence sending much love ❤

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Independentcandidate · 22/09/2019 14:57

Bubbly and hubby .....🤦

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MuchBetterNow · 22/09/2019 14:58

At least it wasn't "hubster".

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macem · 22/09/2019 14:59

Looks like the OP has smugged off.

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Butchyrestingface · 22/09/2019 15:00

At least it wasn't "hubster".

I will admit to being something of a fan of "hubs/z". Blush

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/09/2019 15:00

Even the trolling is shit on here these days
Hugz hun

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Gardai · 22/09/2019 15:01

Holyfuck what did I just read Preciosaund...I can’t go on. What’s happening to Mumsnet.

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/09/2019 15:02

And the socks are more obvious than my odd sock mountain

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Ginger1982 · 22/09/2019 15:02

Sorry but you sound as deeply unlikeable as she does and very much like a 'smug bitch.'

Glad you don't purport to be my friend.

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MrsSiriusBlack1 · 22/09/2019 15:03

You sound very tedious

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Mummyoflittledragon · 22/09/2019 15:03

Your posts read a bit like teenaged angst meets keeping up with the Joneses. Maybe you don’t mean to come across as smug, but you are. I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time having children. However somewhere along the line, you’ve left your perspective and some emotional intelligence behind. If you want to be different from your ex friend, maybe have a think about how you wish to come across.

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MrsRufusdog789 · 22/09/2019 15:04

Whilst in her mind she could feel superior to you she felt OK .
Now you have achieved everything you and yourOH always hoped for - it's the icing on the cake for you especially as you are valued at work and returning in 2021 .
So yes - she's jealous. But not only that she's spiteful . Now she's lost someone she felt superior to and she will illogically blame you . Don ' t waste another second thinking about this immature woman . She is a "friend" you can well do without . Frenemy doesn't even come close to what she is . Congrats xxxxx

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Louisaouisa · 22/09/2019 15:05

I was going to say YANBU.
Having read your updates and having seen how much you relish being smug, I’m beginning to think that you may be missing out chunks of this story to make yourself look like the victim.

While your ‘friend’ has been horrid to you, I highly doubt it was one-sided.

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wildcherries · 22/09/2019 15:09

You go on living your #blessed #bestlife with your smug self, OP. We'll all be over here, rattled... 🙄

WTF did I just read? I'd imagine the ex-friend is somewhere counting her blessings!

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Tensixtysix · 22/09/2019 15:10

She isn't a friend. In fact, was she ever? She has been feeding off you for her own sense of self.
Now you have more than she could ever hope for, she has moved onto someone else.
Be grateful she has blocked you. It was NEVER a true friendship.
She sounds like a mad 'bunny boiler'!

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 15:13

Gardai

I do wonder about all these incredibly well paid, twin bearing, hard working fortunate folk who cannot even spell properly.

Even the rather crucial word jealous. 🤣

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WhoAmIToTellYou · 22/09/2019 15:14

She is pathetic. Unable to deal with her own emotions in a mature way and horrible.

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/09/2019 15:15

I'm always amused when people carry on answering threads like this seriously
Still
You can't cure stupid

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envelopeofpubes · 22/09/2019 15:17

I can’t see much to be jealous of here. Maybe you’ve just grown apart?

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MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 22/09/2019 15:17

sounds like this female is very insecure and has much work to do on herself

This "female"? Are you the Dad from Friday Night Dinner Grin

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PennyNotSoWise · 22/09/2019 15:18

On the off chance that this is real, I'll say she doesn't sound jealous at all. It's most likely when she found out you were having twins, she was filled with utter dread as she realised all the smug, batshit crazy bullshit coming her way, and noped the fuck outta this friendship for her own sanity.

:)

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 15:19

The pudding has been over-egged.

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Ladybirdbookworm · 22/09/2019 15:21

Shamelessly placemarking for the deletion message

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 15:21

MinisterforCheekyFuckery

sounds like this female is very insecure and has much work to do on herself

This "female"? Are you the Dad from Friday Night Dinner grin

🤣😆🤣

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