'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

[MinxyMoos]

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

[ILoveYou3000]

I suspect the OP is taking a career break as opposed to double maternity leave.

[GCAcademic]

Why on earth would you want to be friends with such a bitch? Be glad that she’s cut you off, she’s done you a huge favour. As you’ve said, you already have a full life, and this woman is not a good addition to it.

[howyoulikemenow]

She sounds like a bad friend but you very much sound like you have an air of superiority about you in the start of your post, it would rattle me if I knew you I think.

[PregnantOnPurpose]

I have a friend like this, put up with it all anyway as it’s such a long friendship to waste over what I thought were harmless comments.

Even when I told her about a car I wanted but couldn’t afford, she asked me what colour, said she wasn’t a fan of that colour as she likes neutral coloured cars eg. Black, white, grey.

No more than a week later she told me she’s bought a new car... the car I wanted... in the colour I wanted.

She always comments on how she would love a relationship like mine, how she would love to buy a house with her OH but he doesn’t want to yet. But then will says things like I should leave DP over the smallest of things, like if he couldn’t give us a lift to town when we went out for drinks she would insist he was selfish and I shouldn’t be with me. Not a huge deal to me, I asked, he said no, I probably would have to as it’s a chore where we live to come in and out for no reason.

When I told her I was pregnant she’s completely blanked me, was excited face to face.. then never spoke to me again. This girl used to just wait in my garden while I was at work and just wait for me without me knowing.. she would just walk into my house whenever she wants when I am home.. then off the face of the earth after I told her.

I think it is a jealousy thing, and to be honest I feel so much less pressure and stress not having her around, I’m quite glad she’s done the friend dumping and I didn’t have to. Because I probably couldn’t cope anymore at this point.

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Congratulations on your successful pregnancies.

I actually feel sorry for your friend's daughter because it seems no matter how well she does, her mother will always see the son(s) she never had.

Her horrible comments are best left in the past and she really wasn't a friend. At most she was an acquaintance, perhaps a familiar one but not a friend

[CannonCaboodle]

You both seem irritating and despite your age, your post reads like you're about 15. Do grow up and learn to get on with your own life instead of writing posts on MN looking for validation.

[Connaught92]

It is interesting that your twins had exactly the same birth weight.

[DinoroarDinosaur]

I had a friend like this. She would always say nasty little things to me, either criticising me or playing on my anxieties, and then dressing it up as harmless teasing. She was very jealous of me and my sisters and would also try and play us off against each other. We had been friends for 30+ years but in the end we had to cut her out of our lives as she was unbearable to be around, and we'd constantly be waiting for the next insult.

You're just going to have to accept that she isn't a good friend to you and if she can't be happy for you then there is no point in the friendship at all. Move on and don't dwell on it anymore.

[Lowlandlucky]

Congratulations, she is of no loss.

[ghostyslovesheets]

you are not friends - you obviously dislike her

[ghostyslovesheets]

but you are still very popular and have twins - MN Bingo!

[Raphael34]

She’s sounds like an absolute wank badger. You don’t need this woman as your friend

[ralphfromlordoftheflies]

You sound as bad as her.

[fairybeagle]

As PP have said, she is not your friend. No idea why you would have kept such a horrible person around for so long. Good riddance and congrats on your twins 😊

[EssentialHummus]

She's not your friend and this is no loss at all - don't give her another though. Congratulations , enjoy your little ones.

[EssentialHummus]

*thought

[Ihopeyourcakeisshit]

Your life sounds amazingly perfect, even down to your twins identical birthweight!
I don't know why you would give this any thought, you don't sound like you like her much anyway.
I agree with a pp who said it sounds a bit 15 year old stuff.

[Bezalelle]

I would have given her short shrift after the "floppy" comment, to be honest. It never fails to amaze me how much shit people put up with from so-called friends.

[NoTheresa]

Zebraaa

Why would she be jealous of twins? Has she always said she’d wanted them or something?

I wondered that too.
But wait, aren’t the twins BOYS? Jackpot time...

[Connaught92]

Yes MN bingo indeed. These cases always seem to involve a multiple birth.

[MinisterforCheekyFuckery]

You obviously didn't like her anyway so it's no great loss, is it? I really don't understand why you'd assume that she's jealous of you having twins though.

[NoTheresa]

What are the odds of twins being an identical birth weight?

[HuloBeraal]

If her successful pregnancy was when she was 39 and her daughter is 3, OP is 42.
It sounds like she was never ever your friend. Enjoy your twins!

[Elieza]

Forget her. Be nice if you see her in the street and if needs be do the whole “we must do lunch sometime but I must dash just now, goodbye,” thing with a view to never speaking to her again. Her loss. You deserve better. She can’t be honest with you so she’s not your friend. Keep away from her if possible.