'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

[MinxyMoos]

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

[BenWillbondsPants]

Thank you to the ladies who have congratulated me.

Why would you need to be congratulated?

This is all a load of nonsense.

[margaritaproblems]

Neither of you sound great.

Also

How is "your baby is beautiful but she looks nothing like you" a nasty thing to say?
Everybody said that to me after I had my third. I didn't once think they meant I wasn't beautiful. I love how I look. But she looked nothing like me at birth, it was true.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

When will they learn?
Less is more

[MsVestibule]

Actually, I'm quite humble

OP, you're really not 😀.

[Hey1256]

If someone doesn't like me I never jump to the conclusion that they're jealous but on MN it seems to be the go to explanation.
There are quite a few people I cannot stand but I'm not jealous of a living soul, I just plain don't like them.

Yes but after twenty years surely the op has a feel?

Also, OP said she has reasons think this - actions speak louder than words and if someone is displaying actions of jealousy (which OP isn't going to explain long list) the. Sometimes jealousy IS a thing.

[JacquettaW]

I often feel that the ones who have to go on and on about how wonderful their life is are the ones who are trying to convince themselves. If you were always this insufferable to your friend I'm not surprised she's cut you off tbh.

And no I don't think she's jealous, she's just had enough of you

[31RueCambon75001]

Also, on a very practical level, when i had small DC, say 5 and 2 and i met a mum friend with 1 baby of one, we would feel we had a toddler in common but then roll on two years and i was "done" with a 7 year old and a 4 year old and my toddler group mum friend had a 3 year old and a new one year old by then, the friendship still felt real if not quite as close but if that friend then announced a third pregnancy 2 years later when by then i had a 9 year old and a 6 year old and i had lost all patience for everything being knocked off the table and a friend disappearing mid sentence to warm up a bottle 🤷‍♀️🤪😟 it did feel like "this friendship cannot survive your third pregnancy! The second yes, but not the third!" and you know the drill when it has happened a few times. So with all the affection in the world for a mum friend you only met thru kids, there were occasions when the stages of motherhood just no longer supported an easy effortless friendship. Practicalities!

[margaritaproblems]

Oh Jesus Christ I've just read your second post. You sound gross. I don't really understand what you have to be so smug about? This has to be a joke surely?

I'm well off. Because I've worked hard. Incredibly hard. I have 3 children. A degree. A great career. A car on the drive that's only a few weeks old. Gorgeous family blah blah blah all of the things you've listed. It doesn't make me feel smug or better than anybody else. It makes me feel proud of myself sure, and very grateful, but I don't see myself as better than anybody else.

Do you look at all women like this? It's sad. You'll likely never have any real friends with that attitude.

[31RueCambon75001]

I never assume people are jealous of me either. Im not claudia schiffer or cheryl sandberg.

[Hey1256]

Lmao I only just RTFT, I was sticking up for you but this;

• I cant help that some commenters are rattled by me telling how great my life is...
  Thank you to the ladies who have congratulated me. *here's to being smug bitches
  
  Is just bonkers??!
  
  Really OP you do sound a bit strange!!! Get a grip, there's no need for this. You sound like a show off, and a bit stuck up tbh.

[Gardai]

Congrats at twins at 50.

[PregnantOnPurpose]

Actually... I’ve re read you post, and then read your update.

You actually sounds like the jealous one. For some strange reason you feel like you need to compete against her with everything.. even your children, almost as if you’re using you children as a weapon of “look what I have that you don’t”

I find it extremely strange that you see your and her children as objects that are valued by how many you have..

By the sounds of it, your friend has seen through your competitions and bigoted way of thinking and has dumped you yes, but not because she jealous, but because she is probably fed up of you.

[Hey1256]

Oh Jesus Christ I've just read your second post. You sound gross.

LOL!!

[BenWillbondsPants]

@hobnobsaremyfave

[dappledsunshine]

I really resent these posts with all the "I worked hard to get where I am so deserve all the riches.... blah blah"

Such an insult to the majority of us who likely work just as hard as you but through circumstances or life events don't have the "blessed" lifestyle you have 🤔

[purpleolive]

@Butchyrestingface

"Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature,

You lost me at this part."

Ha, that's when I disengaged too, never trust anyone who describes themselves as bubbly. They're usually the complete opposite, the second post confirms that, bubbly smug bitch sounds a bit of an oxymoron to me!

[Hey1256]

OP why did you come here? I mean what response were you expecting or did you want advice?

Seriously I'm curious to know?

[GinUnicorn]

Phyllis is that you?

[LuckyLou7]

You sound incredibly smug and I'd imagine she's just had enough of you and your perfect life.

I'm surprised your twins weighed exactly the same - most unusual.

[Gardai]

Everyone’s jelus of me as I’m so fucking gorgeous but I stole all my money to get my lovely house and bought my children too.

[MoonbeamBonnet]

Hahaha at the idea of someone having six week old twins and not being too knackered to feel smug.

[ReeReeR]

You don’t come across very well OP so I would bet there is more to your “friendship” than her biting comments. It sounds like you see things as a competition too and that’s not friendship. Maybe her comments that you didn’t like were reactions to things you’ve said and done and now she’s had enough as it does sound like you want to make a point about how happy you are which anyone would find annoying. You say you are happy so focus on that. You don’t know what is going on in someone else’s head.

[IfIKnewThenWhatIKnowNow]

Oh, I’m so glad your humble self came on here to gloat about your perfectly normal existence. Yes, us internet strangers are all rattled by your apparent ‘success’ 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ No ones ever had twin boys before 🤔 huge congrats!

Oh and it’s ‘jealous’

[Gardai]

I do wonder about all these incredibly well paid, twin bearing, hard working fortunate folk who cannot even spell properly.

[Andromeida59]

"Bubbly and trusting nature" .

Sure, OP. Sure.