Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

231 replies

MinxyMoos · 22/09/2019 12:32

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

OP posts:
kateandme · 22/09/2019 15:23

im sorry.but if you spoke and acted to her like you did in your post i think she might(like anyone would) feel the need to defend herself and by you rubbing certain aspects of your life in hr face or being slightly boastful or smug.

Jenasaurus · 22/09/2019 15:23

I can’t get past having twins at 50

Marlena1 · 22/09/2019 15:24

I have two DDs so I block any of my friends who have boys. Smug b*tches the lot of them. Just to give another side to itGrin

SinkGirl · 22/09/2019 15:27

Posts like this are why I get called a troll every time i mention my twins on MN....

PurpleDaisies · 22/09/2019 15:28

I wonder if the “friend” is going to make an appearance here.

DoctorMarten · 22/09/2019 15:30

Classic twat. She’s jealous, nasty and no friend. You’re well rid.

Congratulations on your twins 🥂

MisfitPuddleduck · 22/09/2019 15:32

To be honest OP you sound like a bit of a div. Looking for are to your next update on this thread though Grin

bluegirlgreen · 22/09/2019 15:32

I can't think of anything worse than having ONE baby at 42, let alone twins.

Rather you than me @MinxyMoos

Aridane · 22/09/2019 15:33

She always comments on how she would love a relationship like mine, how she would love to buy a house with her OH but he doesn’t want to yet. But then will says things like I should leave DP over the smallest of things, like if he couldn’t give us a lift to town when we went out for drinks she would insist he was selfish and I shouldn’t be with me

To the poster - your friend is clearly a mumsnetter if she's urging you to LTB at the smallest infraction

bluegirlgreen · 22/09/2019 15:38

@Jenasaurus

Wait - what???

The OP had twins at 50? Not 42. My mistake.

I can't imagine a soul on EARTH being envious of a woman having new baby twins at FIFTY! I'd rather stick red hot pins in my eyes to be honest.

Nor would I be JELLUS of someone with THREE kids if I only have 2.

The OP sounds about twelve. Very immature.

Louisaouisa · 22/09/2019 15:38

Ultimate Mumsnet bingo would have been that the friend desperately wanted a girl Wink

TattiePants · 22/09/2019 15:43

It's always twins....

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/09/2019 15:46

I'm contemplating a PHD thesis on the twins trolling thing
I'm intrigued by it

mankyfourthtoe · 22/09/2019 15:47

She must be jealous of your bubbly trusting nature...

MountPheasant · 22/09/2019 15:49

@hobnobsaremyfave I’m intrigued by it too! Why do trolls always mention twins? I’ve wondered about this and cannot think of a single reason!

Hey1256 · 22/09/2019 15:50

I wonder where OP has gone? Why do they always disappear when it all gets a bit hot to handle ?!!!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/09/2019 15:51

Off polishing her twins no doubt

purplelila2 · 22/09/2019 15:56

Haven't rtft but did she really have twins at 50?
Wow that's nothing to be jealous of.

Tellmetruth4 · 22/09/2019 16:00

Sorry OP not read the whole thread but you actually sound very insecure. Are you as happy as you say you are? You are trying extremely hard to almost sound like a Disney Princess. Are you perhaps struggling and projecting negativity on to her? She doesn’t sound nice but from the rest of your write up I’m afraid to say that I think you’re possible exaggerating what she’s done to you. Have you been rubbing your wonderful life into her face and she’s had enough?

Jesse70 · 22/09/2019 16:07

I don't get why you are so smug? Why is your life so great?
Lots of people live comfortably and have a close family
Why r u so special?

MotherFuckingLanguages · 22/09/2019 16:12

She’s not a good friend and you seem off

PennyNotSoWise · 22/09/2019 16:17

I’m intrigued by it too! Why do trolls always mention twins? I’ve wondered about this and cannot think of a single reason!

Strange isn't it? It's like a weird fantasy thing. I used to have doll twins when I was a kid, and used to say I wanted twins when I'm grown up because it seemed like a magical thing. Now I'm grown up I think "fuck that!" Grin

Kudos to twin parents. I always feel sorry for genuine twin parents though, like SinkGirl says...I think the very mention of them sets the troll-dars pinging for many.

Sagradafamiliar · 22/09/2019 16:22

Let the haterz hate! They're well jel. They hate ya coz they ain't ya. Shine bright like a diamond and go and laugh and live and dance in the rain then check your watch and say 'it's gin o'clock' then kick off your dancing shoes and chill with the hubs and bubs for the nite.

Peanutbutterforever · 22/09/2019 16:24

It doesn't sound like either of you like each other!

user1471449295 · 22/09/2019 16:25

She was no friend, but you sound smug, petty and a little up yourself. If you converse the same way you have written, we, it would rattle a lot of people. Maybe you’re both just drama llamas.

Swipe left for the next trending thread