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AIBU?

'Friend' of 20 years has cut me off- jealousy?

231 replies

MinxyMoos · 22/09/2019 12:32

I've wondered about my friend for a long time- let me explain- certain comments she's made to me over the years made me question if she was a friend and was actually jelous of me. Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature, I always looked at any positives she had and that took me to 20 years of knowing her. My situation is that hubby and I comfortable money wise, have a loving extended family, I have many work colleague friends and am happy to say, well liked by my work bosses. (Can I add all our money is earned, I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I work pretty damn hard and produce good work for my bosses). There was one thing lacking in life according to her and that was children.
My friend is quite in love with herself, she would often look in the mirror and say "look no make up". I used to laugh. She is attractive but not to the extent she thinks she is. My friend has 2 kids and was desperate for a boy. She knows we were trying for children and I had miscarried a few times. Every time I got to work she would ask me if there was any news of a baby and do a pouty sad face in front of everyone. It was almost like she enjoyed my sadness!!!This hurt everytime, but I put it down to my hormones and that I needed to be less sensitive. But the questions were continuous. She knew how to say something horrid and then make it up with me. Once during a successful pregnancy I was due a down syndrome test and was very anxious cause of my age (39). I said to her that i'd feel better after the results were in, she said "oh I know someone who had the test and the results came back normal, but the baby was still born floppy"!!! I was so upset by her. I did tell her how much she upset me and she cried and said she didnt want to talk about it. Of course she didnt. But she apologised and I ended up feeling bad.
After 7 years we finally had my beautiful daughter and this friend was oh so vocal in her happiness for me. She got me so many gifts and visited me at home....then she made a comment that my "daughter is beautiful and looks nothing like you". So you see how she could do something nice and then say something really horrible.
That was 3 years ago.
Of course she started again as to siblings for my daughter!!! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, to our utter happy shock, I was pregnant with twins this year!!!!! I am feeding one now. Two boys, 6lb 10 each. A very healthy happy pregnancy. As soon as i told my 'friend' i was 8 weeks with twins, she pretty much dumped me!!!! Its like the jelousy was just too much for her. When I went to talk to her, she said she was busy. When I asked her out for pizza and said I have an antenatal appointment before hand so I maybe late, she said she couldn't wait for me as she would be hungry!!!
Since then, she has taken me off her wots app as in 'blocked' me!!!
My twins are now 5 weeks old my daughter is 3. Hubby and I feel so lucky. I am happy like heaven is!! I go back to work in 2021!!!
But when I think of this 'friend' my heart sinks. Shes not congratulated me or made any contact. Is it really possible for a friend to be so jelous of her friend this much??!!!!

OP posts:
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Boysey45 · 22/09/2019 13:33

She sounds horrible and your not far behind her really. If you were my friend and speaking about me like this I'd cut you off as well. Even if I had no one else.
Going forward be nicer and call friends out earlier, it shouldn't have got to this stage.

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Teddybear45 · 22/09/2019 13:37

Sounds like you probably don’t know the entire truth behind her ‘desperation for a boy’. This is pretty much text book behaviour for someone who has had serial miscarriages.

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Drum2018 · 22/09/2019 13:39

Surely you should be delighted never to hear from her again given she's always been such a bitch.

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 13:39

Twins at any time would be a nightmare but when you are as old as 50!? That would be insane. Poor you, OP.

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Shoutouttomyspecs · 22/09/2019 13:41

With 3 kids 3 and under I’m surprised you have time this petty shit to even enter your head .
Don’t give it another thought.

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Bellsofstclements · 22/09/2019 13:41

You both sound awful.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/09/2019 13:42

She sounds horrible.

But then I tend to find that people who think others are jealous of them are usually pretty deluded and irritating. So maybe she's horrible because you get on her nerves.
Either way, move on from her.

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Shoutouttomyspecs · 22/09/2019 13:44

The op says on another thread the friend has a boy and a girl so can’t be jealous of the boy

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LionKingLover · 22/09/2019 13:46

She's no friend. I had one of these, said things that sounded nice to others but were actually nasty... Very manipulative. Its all down to jealousy.

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Bunnyfuller · 22/09/2019 13:46

Weird....

You clearly really dislike her, why stay friends for 20 years?

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MinxyMoos · 22/09/2019 13:48

Sorry if I sound smug. I do feel smug, I wont lie and I'm going to enjoy it!! There are people who do bad things and feel smug. All I've done is create a family and a happy environment and worked hard and reaped some rewards from it.

I suspect shes jelous as she now as she nothing to put me down on. And in her head, I now have 3 kiddies and shes 'only' got 2!!

Actually I'm quite humble. But I came into this forum thinking I could be true and say what my personal situation was, how else will you understand the situation. I cant help that some commenters are rattled by me telling how great my life is...
Thank you to the ladies who have congratulated me. Winehere's to being smug bitchesGrin

OP posts:
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Freddiemercuarysmoustache · 22/09/2019 13:50

.

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 13:51

Oh dear. I smell a 🐀

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Rachelle11 · 22/09/2019 13:51

Does she want three kids? Unless she is going through infertility and struggling I don't know why you are assuming jealousy? If you work with her she's probably doing fine financially as well?

And twins aren't generally something people get jealous over as far as I know?

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 13:52

An unconvincing 🐀

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Shoutouttomyspecs · 22/09/2019 13:52

But you say she wanted a boy so is jealous of your boys but you say on another thread she has a boy and a girl?

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ralphfromlordoftheflies · 22/09/2019 13:54

You don't just sound smug, you also sound very insecure.

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Butchyrestingface · 22/09/2019 13:55

Probably because of my bubbly, trusting nature,

You lost me at this part.

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Ruefaro · 22/09/2019 13:55

Are you hoping she reads this and sees it as an update on what's been going on in your life since she blocked you?

You are both weird imo and I think it's great that you are not in each others lives Confused

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NoTheresa · 22/09/2019 13:55

The OP appears to be a newbie...
Hmm. Interesting.

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Bunnyfuller · 22/09/2019 13:57

No one is ‘rattled’. Your post just doesn’t paint either of you in a good light.

I have literally never heard of anyone being jealous over how many children, when you both have them. By all means be smug, but bear in mind smug isn’t an attractive trait, is very cringey (do you not suppose we’re all building ‘great lives’, and in fact your take on great might be a bit tawdry compared to others - you have no idea about any of us here) and I am guessing your friend has had enough of ‘smug’.

Your situation is a friend has ghosted you. The rest is just fluff, you’ve not written anything that screams omg why can’t i have that.

And it’s ‘jealous’.

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SavingSpaces2019 · 22/09/2019 13:58

OP- i can't believe YOU didn't dump her a long time ago!
She isn't a friend.
I've met people like her - they're called frenemies.
They pretend to be your friend but the whole time they're stabbing you in the back, behind you back and to your face.

They're attention seekers galore, you noticed how everything she said or did was centered around her and her feelings.

Be glad she's out of your life and not continuing to piss on your sunshine.

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GreekOddess · 22/09/2019 13:59

Why are you not going back to work until 2021?

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Sagradafamiliar · 22/09/2019 14:01

No.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/09/2019 14:02

How do you know what's going on in her head though? Has she said she wants more children? I only have one through choice and I certainly wouldn't be jealous of someone who had three.

People aren't rattled, it's that you're just assuming that someone is jealous.

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