AIBU to take away the ham sandwich?

[Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall]

My 8yo has been in a pissy mood all morning (most his life)
And he asked for something to eat so I made him a ham sandwich.
So he moaned why was it ham? I don't want ham. I said tough that's what it is, some people don't even have food so stop whining.
Carried on moaning.
Then started moaning, oh fine I'll have to FORCE MYSELF to eat it then!!!
So I took it off him and ate it myself.

And now he's having a wobbler that he's going to starve and it's all my fault.

Please tell me I wasn't being unreasonable and he's being a brat.

seems this was yet another AIBU thread where OP never had any intention of wanting to hear people's opinions - well apart from wanting to laugh and take the piss out of them.

What a time waster. Off you pop OP and find something to do, you were clearly bored.

Yep.

No, you weren't BU.
I would have done the same then made him wait until the next meal time, however ' starving " he was.

You are a mother and you should feed your child. Glad everyone in here is going to make you feel you did right but I think what you did was disgraceful.

Well, that got you told OP. 😂

Thank you op, we had ham sandwiches and bacon soup for lunch. Everybody ate it, nobody was traumatised and we are all going to be just fine! Hang on in there, or buy a giant dog cage and a large rabbit water bottle and you can stick your 8 year old in it

Yep, I would have done the same as OP, as did my mother with me. From a family of six, it was you snooze, you lose!

Any time in therapy was not spent on not being empowered and given sufficient choice as to sandwich.

We're a very foody family, so we talk a lot about food and the meal plan for the coming week. If anyone has a particular yen for something (salmon on udon noodles for one, usually, or beef rendang for the other, everybody for chicken creamy onion), it will be noted, and if the person hasn't particularly pissed me off recently, and we haven't had it in the last week, then it's very likely to be worked in. They get to state a vote or a preference, but actual 'choice' for the kids is a highly prized reward, say for getting a p3, or a great report. Or a consolation, say for friend issues or homesickness.

Them what does the cleaning out of the fridge, the meal plan, the grocery list, the stocktake of what we have in and needs to be eaten down, is them what gets the actual choice.

Works for us.

I live in fear after finding out just how delicate some little petals must be, of accidentally traumatising one while they're over visiting one day. I had one invite herself for dinner once, and we were having sausages and onions in gravy. She hated onions. She informed me gravely that I could just sieve the gravy for her. Oh me days. . .

Oh, and I'm not seeing too many kids around in dire need of a ham sandwich, have to say. I'm sure that most could afford to miss yet another mid-morning snack without dying of starvation, let alone going catatonic from the trauma.

So people take your thread seriously and you find it amusing OP?

@JinglingHellsBells the text you've quoted wasn't something I originally posted.
I was quoting someone else.

Yabu he’s 8 and should have been offered a choice, most 8 year olds don’t even know what’s in the fridge.

All this ‘he should have been offered a choice’ - so it’s fine for him to be rude and have a strop? Sorry but no. That’s not acceptable. Maybe there was no choice and he knew that there was only ham in. Maybe he only likes ham sandwiches. Sometimes you get what you’re given.

So people take your thread seriously and you find it amusing OP? confused

But it is amusing! Child was being petulant and parent didn’t put up with it or indulge the child. No pandering or discussions or negotiating just good old fashioned parenting! Reading some of these responses explains why so many children are so entitled these days.

Exactly Pud2! I dread to think what kind of employees people will have to deal with when the kids are so entitled these days.

I'm not taking my break now, I have my lunch at 1pm not 12pm! This is a violation of my human rights!

This customer was so rude to me, I need to go and calm down in my safe space!

Hardly taking the piss because I find it amusing people are saying my child needs therapy and our relationship is broken. Over a ham sandwich!

Parents are scared of their kids these days.
Everything is 'abuse'. The term has been taken out of context.

I didn't give him a choice because he didn't specify what he wanted. He usually just eats what he's given or makes himself something. I was making ham sandwiches for lunch for later on, so just gave him one on a plate.
He was moaning about the ham and moaning how I'm forcing him to eat something he didn't want, so I took it off his plate and said, well in that case I'll have it then, thank you. And ate it myself.

Then he moaned and wanted a ham sandwich after all, so I said make your own. He said no. I said, fine be hungry then.

I know, I know, dreadful 🤔🙄

It’s more than likely that, whatever you’d given him, he’d have moaned as he was just in a moaning mood.

@Yabbers of course they are allowed to have a preference. but my 6 year old is perfectly able to make a sandwich, or get some fruit or veg for himself. if he can’t be asked to do it himself, he ests what he is give. simple

It's hilarious because of the number of replies re abuse and how he'll be scarred for life.

Yet all those of us raised this way say it did us no harm - actually did us good!

This reminds me of a parent I once knew. The school did fruit for the yr R children. Some would still get the milk due to age (so going back a bit here!) there was a suggested voluntary donation of 20p per week per child and for example on a 7 weeks term the suggested donation was £1.50. Some parents's paid that, some couldn't afford it (fair enough and no one was excluded), some paid more and some sent in a bag of something each week (with or without payment).

There was 4 options each week and they varied (2 veg and 2 fruit).

One mum complained that her ds came home upset there was carrots that week as he wanted carrots. Teacher explained system again and said her ds had eaten cucumber and says he likes that. Mum "well yes he does, but he wanted carrots". Teacher reiterated its voluntary contribution and mentioned maybe if he always wanted carrots she could substitute the payment and send in a bag of carrots a week and teacher would ensure there was carrot each day for her ds.

Mum didn't say much and left.

Next thing she's sent a complaint to HT - because a bag of carrots is more than the recommended contribution of 20p a week. HT bemused but responded politely with a copy of letter of how it works and said she could provide him something daily ( just for him) or just 5 carrots a week not to be shared.

Nope. Still not good enough so escalated to governors.

Eventually the agreement was she wouldn't pay (she never had to!) and her ds would eat if he wanted to and she wouldn't be losing out money. Afaik he ate whatever was on offer everyday.

Roll on 10 years and her ds is always in trouble at secondary school and she's always up there with her excuse as to why he couldn't possibly comply.

My ds says it's been the best ongoing joke him and his friends have ever had the pleasure of being involved in.

Some people really just cannot see their offspring are not the centre of the universe.

Btw I know what was sent and replies because she showed a lot of us - I think she was hoping we'd all tell her how badly her and her ds were being treated. We all just told her (politely) to get a grip

It just shows that this type of indulgence does children no favours in the long run.

Over carrots!! 😂 Who has time!!
At the preschool we had to pay snack money for all our kids £25 a term or something like that. And one of my kids never ate a thing.
The menu choice was good, my kid just had to learn if they didn't like what was on offer then don't have anything.

That said I'm not so terrible I forced them to eat school meals because they are free until at 6 I think?
I send them with pack lunches they will actually eat.
When did school dinners gets so complicated.
What happened to fish fingers,bangers and mash and green custard and thing's?
Now it's salmon fish cakes and sugar free oat cakes, risotto etc... it's like a menu at a restaurant.

How is it entitled to prefer a different food?
It's normal behaviour to ask what people want.
My parents just visited and I asked them if they wanted a drink. They said yes and I gave them options, I didn't just plonk down a milky tea with five sugars because that's what I fancied making them and then crossly down it in one wittering about world poverty when they say they say they don't like it.

But often in families, we serve a meal or snack we chose as the cook (and here child WAS asked what he wanted and refused to say) - when the meal is put on the table it IS entitled to say ‘yuck, don’t want it’ or ‘you didn’t ask me what I wanted’. We eat the meal that has been prepared for us, a meal that the person cooked bearing in mind the likes and dislikes of the family and very unlikely to be. Food we hate.

You don’t get to choose every meal. You know sometimes it’s your favourite and sometimes it isn’t and you get on with it anyway and it’s just not a big deal.....unless you’re the kind of person who thinks they should always get to choose and hasn’t learned to live with choices other people make.

You taught him a lesson. Don't feel anything other than a normal parent.
You will probably be told you are hateful and the worst parent in the world many times . Thats being parents

"But what's wrong with giving them Y? You have turned it into a power game and think it's funny. Not sure there is any need to do that. What's wrong with 'ok, do you want x or y?"

Ha because if I pandered like that they would constantly whinge for biscuits or crisps. I don't offer them food they don't like, but see nothing wrong with offering a banana and not debating the merits of x y or z. Similarly I also withhold food if I think they're eating out of boredom or similar. They don't need every whim being pandered to 24:7

I'd have done the same OP. YANBU.

Goodness it's no wonder some children are so badly behaved if people think it's acceptable to pander to an 8yo tantrum.

Do you all make several different dinners too when precious little Jimmy decides he doesn't want lasagne tonight?