AIBU to take away the ham sandwich?

[Mykidsdrivemeupthefluckingwall]

My 8yo has been in a pissy mood all morning (most his life)
And he asked for something to eat so I made him a ham sandwich.
So he moaned why was it ham? I don't want ham. I said tough that's what it is, some people don't even have food so stop whining.
Carried on moaning.
Then started moaning, oh fine I'll have to FORCE MYSELF to eat it then!!!
So I took it off him and ate it myself.

And now he's having a wobbler that he's going to starve and it's all my fault.

Please tell me I wasn't being unreasonable and he's being a brat.

Good lord.

I’d have done the same OP. Of course you should have opened the well stocked fridge and asked him exactly what he wanted and bent to every whim.

🙄

I’m a like it or lump it as well tbh. And my son is younger! He likes ham sandwiches for the record.

I’m off to make a sandwich now.

At 8 years old he can make his on sandwich if he is that bothered about what he wants. I think you were right OP

Eating it yourself is unreasonable. Telling him that's all you have and he has to eat it or go hungry would be reasonable. That is if he normally ears ham and doesn't hate it.

I think the need to reset the entire relationship dynamic. No one sounds happy. He had no choice as to what you made for him to eat. He reacted to this, he reacted badly (but it will be a learned behaviour). You reacted badly to this (was a bit over the top. (Other people having no food, his ending up with nothing.) Maybe fine if you'd given him the choice - "I'll eat it if you dont want it; do you want it?" When he whines inform him it's wrong and tell him how to behave/react. (Yes whining is annoying, it'll take patience on your part.). It'd be better to offer choice (even if it's only between two things). Or show him how to make him own sandwich. Children are usually 'pissy' because they lack control or choice.

Why do some people have to over analyse everything? It was a minor incident ffs. No need for all this angst. The OP managed it perfectly. She’s hardly going to be of interest to Social Services.

Why on earth wouldn’t you ask him what he wanted?

Or suggest he makes what he wanted.

Surely children are allowed some agency over what they choose to eat/when?

I’m worse than any other mother in here. I absolutely banned the word “starving” because- they weren't. And there are kids that are.

Why do some people have to over analyse everything? It was a minor incident ffs.

This ^^.

A kid threw a tantrum because he didn't want to eat a perfectly good ham sandwich.

So it didn't go to waste, OP ate it instead.

It didn't contain the last 2 slices of bread on earth, nor the final slice of ham.
(I.e There's plenty for him to have another one.)

You don't need to climb into the boys brain and try and work out 'why' he's being unreasonable. He just is. Over a sandwich.
I bet if you asked him he wouldn't be able to tell you coherently either.

Christ. So many intense, humourless parents on this thread. No wonder there are so many badly behaved, entitled children around.

Learn your lesson OP. You must give your little prince whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, no matter how he behaves. You must never say anything negative to him nor act in a way that is less than overwhelmingly loving towards him. You are a cruel woman who doesn’t deserve to have children.

Jeeze, I thought I took parenting too seriously, back in the day. But some of these responses are incredibly po-faced!

I wouldn't want a ham sandwich at 10 in the morning to be fair

YANBU

for crying out loud, it was a ham sandwich he would normally eat, not shit on a stick.

You are not a cafe/personal chef and he was ungrateful.

Id have done the same I do like a nice ham sandwich

You can tell from this thread who's kids will be the ones in secondary school who are always in trouble for doing nothing and those who's kids will admit they made a mistake and accept the consequence.

He got made a sandwich that he could have made perfectly well by himself so he could continue chilling in front of a film.

Unless the OP has omitted a piece of information like - they own and run a cafe and he's sat in it - the child has it pretty good!

Can we try and keep the melodramatics to a minimum on a lovely Sunday?

Not sure where you are, but it's peeing down here

I still feel guilty about the time I threatened to throw his meal in the bin, when ds was being a whiny brat and then, when he still carried on, I actually did it! We were both shocked, I think. I must have been end-of-tetherish that day, but it did seem to do the trick as far as future mealtimes went!

Why are there parents here who talk like they’ve ate a psychoanalyst tome?
Looking forward to more whiney entitled snowflakes growing up 🙄
Try and start again, apologise to DS for being exasperated with the incident
Apologise? For him being a brat? Get a grip!

and then because I’m not a complete pansy I would get over it and I’ll have learnt my lesson.

Because 8 year olds have that kind of emotional intelligence 🙄

I’m no soft touch by any means but I can’t imagine doing this to DD. Even at ten it would seem unnecessarily cruel. If the same thing played out with an adult, it would be ridiculous. I wouldn’t ever just decide what kind of sandwich OH was getting if he said he was hungry.

Bloody hell. Some of the comments on here are just a tad over the top. It was just an 8yo kid being stroppy with his mam over a bloody ham sandwich which he didn't want so his mam ate it, and guess what then he wanted it. Quelle surprise.

You did what any normal parent would do OP. Ignore all these bullshit psycho child analysis comments ffs.

@SeaSaltandLime Sun 22-Sep-19 11:50:26
Why do some people have to over analyse everything? It was a minor incident ffs.

why would anyone bother to post on a forum more to the point.
But it's not really a minor point- it's about boundaries and also setting foundations for a good diet (which should not include snacking or demanding food so soon after breakfast.)

Holy Hell, another bonkers thread, I wonder if I live on a different planet sometimes.
I'd have done the same OP.

YABU for making me want a ham sandwich when im hungover and dont have bread or ham. Rude. 🥪

Why are there parents here who talk like they’ve ate a psychoanalyst tome?

@Bookworm4 YABVVVU that's not the question.... its whether they were given an option of which flavour psychoanalyst they'd like to eat beforehand

I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t ask what they wanted?

I mean if someone offered you a drink would you expect to be asked what you fancied or just given whatever they thought you might want.

Isn’t a more normal conversation

“Can I have a snack”
“What would you like”

Or
“Can I have a snack”
“Of course, help yourself”

The rule innour house is that if you want something specific, you make it yourself. otherwise you eat what you are given. oldest is 6, and has been making his own sandwiches since reception. At 8 i would have been more than annoyed at the attitude, and refused to make him anything for the rest of the week.

YANBU and your 8yo was being an arse.

It's pretty common; there's a massive hormone surge in boys around then. My two lads were right PITA at that age - one was always furious, one burst into tears over everything.
Your lad can make his own darned thing - 8yo are perfectly capable of doing a piece of toast or fetching fruit.

I think it was an entirely appropriate response (and quite funny as well). I agree with the posters saying that pandering breeds prissy entitled kids, who then become prissy entitled adults.

Whilst I doubt think children have the same emotional intelligence as adults, adults feelings/ time/ resources are important too. Constantly dancing attendance on demanding and ungrateful kids fosters brattishness and drains the adults.

I threw my son's dinner in the bin once when he kept griping (in short, how dare we cook something that wasn't his favourite just because the rest of us wanted it). I gave him two warnings then in the bin it went. His dinnertime behaviour has improved notably since then. He was 14 though and really old enough to know better.

Wonder where he gets his 'pissy' attitude from?