To be annoyed that a joint house is not in my name

[stellavisionandunderstanding]

AIBU?

I sold my house in the UK and my husband and I bought a house together. We live abroad. His parents do everything and everything is passed by them. At the time I was focused on having our second child and before I knew it, his parents had taken him to an accountant to sort out the deeds and the paperwork.

I'm really cross about this as my rights by hanging my name on a house has been lost and this is not what I signed up to. I keep saying when do I sign something and then he finally told me what they'd gone and done.

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it. It annoys me that this was done for tax reasons by his parents rather than protecting the right I had. I'd like to go back and do further study and now I can't show evidence for local frees rather than international. Please tell me I'm being unreasonable!

Go and see a solicitor with any proof you have of money transfer to him for the house, email or text conversations showing your intention was to put it in joint names. And see what they can do to rectify this, I wouldn't speak much more to your husband about this before you do that

I'm gobsmacked at how this has been allowed to happen?

It seems very odd. What solicitor or accountant would be party to taking depriving the joint buyer ie co-owner of their interest in the house, without their agreement?

Surely that might be grounds to sue. OP hasn’t given her permission for any of this.

I question whether DH has actually done what he has said. Unless they have a crooked accountant/family friend.

OP someone on MN will have free access to the Land Registry or you can do it yourself for £3. Get those title deeds to understand who owns that house (him only or him + parents) then source your own solicitor (I'm sure MN can advise of good ones in the UK) and get your name added or get out of that duplicitous relationship.

Get legal advice immediately.

I’m with everyone else - legal advice now!!!! Your DH is being a lying shit.

It feels very much like there's something wrong here.

Due to a very complicated set of circumstances I've recently had to buy a house in my name only but with a deposit from DH. Due to concerns, manly round money laundering but also financial abuse, I was grilled sideways by the mortgage company and my own solicitors. Crucially the sale couldn't go ahead until DH had signed a legal form stating he gifted me the money with no claim on the property. It also affected which lenders would take us on.

This all happened under Scots' Law so there might be wriggle room for him to be a stand up guy under other jurisdictions but it smells bad. I'm so sorry.

Wow! No way would I put up with that, get yourself some legal advice, something is very off here, what's his parents thinking of? Certainly not you that's for sure, you need to take care of your own interests before you're left high and dry and lose everything.

So basically he stole your money and bought himself a house? That's a bit crap.

This is very problematic OP. If you have contributed financially to the household/ mortgage then you have a right to some percentage of the house. Also, if you are a SAHM and theoretically bring in no actual money that is domestic labour which should be (though is rarely) considered an income to the house (our London nursery fees are 1600 per month so a SAHM should be considered to be bringing in at least 25k a year). Please assert your rights now, ask your DH how he would feel in your position. His parents have no right to be in control of your life, and they are not. You gave both to the children, in a court you would most probably get custody. Assert your role and your right as you children’s mother. You have a right to the house you live in and contribute to but don’t leave this too late.

Gave birth not both x

OMG, you need to get this sorted out asap. Please don't leave it and please don't let him/them fob you off. He and his parents have tried to pull a fast one on you. They have stolen your money and put your future financial security in jeopardy. I'd be telling him he needs to put your name on the deeds NOW or you'll be seeing a divorce lawyer to liquidise your share of the house and mean it! It's clear financial abuse and heaven knows what other plans he/they are cooking up to permanently deprive you of your share if you were to split up. Don't let him/them get away with it.

Not a healthy situation as it all seems a bit clandestine. Not clear what role parents are playing here and why. However it can easily be rectified with a trip to a lawyer/notary.
As the spouse you should have half ownership of all assets anyway. The one thing l would advise you to do is have an iron clad will. You need to be soul beneficiary.

I dont think this is a marriage breaker but it would certainly be a watershed for me. Your DH needs to put this right and restore some trust.

If this is a UK property you can apply to lodge what is called a Unilateral Notice against the property via the Land Registry stating that you have an interest in the property.

This would prevent anything further happenings eg transfer, sale, remortgage, second charges, but be warned the Land Registry are under an obligation to write to the registered proprietor at his correspondence address notifying him of your application at which point he can object to the lodging.

As others have mentioned, a good starting point is the Land Registry online service so you can see who exactly is on the deeds, any mortgages etc.

If your name isn't on the deeds, tell him you want your money back so you can invest it in something for yourself.

I would be furious about this. If the parents had an interest they could have done a deed of trust. If not they have completely cut you out of the loop and thats not on. I don't get the "tax reasons" they are referring to, but even so it out weights not having your name on the deeds. I really think you need to take legal advice on this one and in all seriousness I would be taking the children back to the safety of the UK where you will have more rights. He may redeem himself but I woukd seriously question my marriage if my husband did this to me 💐

Give him an ultimatum. Either he goes to a solicitor immediately and has the house put in joint names or you will take your child away and divorce him. If he will not agree to that you will instigate legal proceedings against him and his parents for stealing your money.

However, if you sold your property and put the funds voluntarily into a joint account then you are on shaky ground. Your best hope is that you can divorce him under British jurisdiction and be awarded half the marital assets.

This is a salutary warning to everyone not to trust others without having good evidence that confidence is justified. Trusting others with culturally different views of women, i.e. misogynistic views, is not safe.

I am very, very sympathetic to the OP’s situation and hope a good outcome ensues.

OP please don't be a wet lettuce and stand up for yourself!

Simply tell your husband that he either puts your name on the deeds immediately or you'll divorce him and get your half that way.

Tbh if my husband did this to me, I would be leaving regardless. You've moved to Oman and left yourself incredibly vulnerable. Seems like husband knows exactly what he was doing and it's all been very calculated.

I would be planning a secret escape with your children back to the UK ASAP!!!!

In the UK l tried to add my wife's name to the deeds of the house l owned before we married, solicitors told us it is a complete new conveyance and costs accordingly!
Can anyone advise whether l can JUST have her name added
She realises and accepts shared liabilities within that, bit it is owned outright

On this case, kick his arse back to mummy!
Unbelievable behaviour and suspicious as well

Haven't read the whole thread but first of all what country are you in at the moment?

I understand the tax situation. In Mexico for example bid were to buy a job by property tax is of almost 50% but as national is only about 5-10% of the value of the property so I can see that but he should have spoken to you first.

From my own experience, you might not be legally married in that country which means you're entitled to nothing. My family business as well as all other properties are in my name to avoid inheritance tax. Fortunately (in my case) as I never "revalidated" my marriage abroad my exH had no claim to said properties. However when we divorced the UK judge did take them into account for our settlement.

I think you need to speak to lawyers both in th UK and wherever you are.

Hillary4, I'm not sure about the advice of that solicitor. Perhaps contact the Land Registry directly to check what the procedure is and see whether or not you could do it yourself?

Due to a very complicated set of circumstances I've recently had to buy a house in my name only but with a deposit from DH. Due to concerns, manly round money laundering but also financial abuse, I was grilled sideways by the mortgage company and my own solicitors. Crucially the sale couldn't go ahead until DH had signed a legal form stating he gifted me the money with no claim on the property. It also affected which lenders would take us on.

Which tallies with my feeling above that it would be quite extraordinary for solicitor/accountant to agree to do what OP has been told has happened. So I wonder if DH is telling her the truth.

@Hillary4
It’s a transfer of equity.

If there is a mortgage attached to the property it’s a transfer of equity and a remortgage (it’s not usually so simple as adding another name they will want you to take out a mortgage in joint names to repay the mortgage in your sole name).

Mortgage companies usually recommend their own solicitors firms which work out cheaper as they are dealing with high volume. My knowledge is a little rusty but you may both need legal representation.

Definitely contact your mortgage lender before a solicitor.

Going back to the original poster.

Years ago my parents transferred their main home which was mortgage free into my name. It’s so that in the event of their death (and providing that they did not die within 7 years of the transfer) inheritance tax would not be payable on that property.

A lot of parents and kids have this arrangement.

Like others have said I do believe that it is in your interests to be noted as having a financial interest against this property but appreciate you may well be in a precarious position based on whereabouts in the world you are.

I’m sorry I don’t know much about property and tax law but like everyone else has written it certainly sounds like you are in a precarious position...I really hope you get this sorted and soon! Also have seen you haven’t replied to many of the written responses I do hope you are okay?

The one thing l would advise you to do is have an iron clad will. You need to be soul beneficiary.

There is no such thing, though from that perspective - anyone can make a will one day and make another the next, revoking the first will and completely overturning the sentiments expressed in it or changing minor details. It has always been a popular device in fiction, the superseding will coming as a complete shock to expectant beneficiaries.