To be annoyed that a joint house is not in my name

[stellavisionandunderstanding]

AIBU?

I sold my house in the UK and my husband and I bought a house together. We live abroad. His parents do everything and everything is passed by them. At the time I was focused on having our second child and before I knew it, his parents had taken him to an accountant to sort out the deeds and the paperwork.

I'm really cross about this as my rights by hanging my name on a house has been lost and this is not what I signed up to. I keep saying when do I sign something and then he finally told me what they'd gone and done.

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it. It annoys me that this was done for tax reasons by his parents rather than protecting the right I had. I'd like to go back and do further study and now I can't show evidence for local frees rather than international. Please tell me I'm being unreasonable!

I think I would be taking my children and returning to the UK where women actually have rights! (Be very careful though as Mothers have very few rights in Islamic countries) I would then be contacting a lawyer and looking into divorce to return my investment to me. This man does not love or value you- he treated you with zero respect - if he was trying to save money on stamp duty then he would be explaining that rather than refusing to change the deeds! It sounds very much like you have been stitched up and his family have made sure that you are not able to force a sale in the event of a divorce. You need legal support ASAP!

Sorry OP you are going through this.
This sounds like an awful situation. They have “taken” your £, lied to you and trapped you.
Your in-laws have no right to interfere. Your OH is never to be trusted again.
If you can, you need to find a way out.
Why did you move to Oman? Have you still got family in UK?

This is wrong on so many levels. The flat should be in both names. You've been busy being a mum and they've gone behind your back. Sneaky. Tell him that you won't be brushed off and are seeking legal advice. If he says that you haven't discussed this with him, point out the obvious.

Hope you're okay, stellavisionandunderstanding

I realise it might not be easy, but if you could find the chance to clarify where the various houses and flats are/were - also where your funds are located - it might be easier for us to advise you?

Sorry, I should have written that as @stellavisionandunderstanding ...

I know exactly what you mean.... I only read your first post.

My ex insisted I wasn't allowed to jointly get a mortgage, and so the house was in her name .... ONLY.

After 8 years together I was booted out (it grew cold a good couple years before... I definitely didn't cheat) and lost everything, including the work I'd put into the house... Landscapi g the garden, unstitchi g side bricks n removing concrete causing dampness, and several other jobs I'd done to improve the value of the house.

I found out later, I could have had a joint mortgage, but she insisted she wouldn't get it with me listed. I.lost every penny is out into the house.

So definitely go get this sorted....

Now part 2!
My fiancée's ex-husband, was a pure out n out mummy's boys, and whenever his mum said jump, he'd say... How high. He'd go against his wife at every turn if hisother said something.

So.i well believe his mum/parents set this up, and being the mummy's boy, couldn't/wouldn't say no to it.

Now, me n the fiancee EVERYTHING is.evenly.split between us, and all family decisions are made equally.

In UK, its £3 to find out owner of property, not sure where you bought new house. You best find local lawyer where the house is base and check with them. In UK, if house only in his name, only him can put legal charge in and only him can borrow on the house. But if you pursue him on fraud provided he stole your money in your sole account, not joint account, you can sue. otherwise, i am sad to say there is nothing much you can do. Please ask lawyer for advice. This is base on personal experience. Maybe another lawyer have some solutions. good luck. If you live in the house long enough , uk court would normally award the family home to mother and children on divorce. That is one way of going about it and point out its your money from your house that is sold in UK to show fraud.

Could the parents have 'gifted' their son a proportion of the value if the house as an early inheritance or to dodge a higher stamp duty? Even if this was the case I don't believe it would make a difference your name being on the mortgage.

Just repeating what other posters have said before, but definitely get some independent UK legal advice OP - at least from a tax/private client specialist, if not a family/divorce solicitor too. The stamp duty advantage other posters have mentioned doesn’t apply where you’re a married couple - HMRC treat you as being ‘one person’ so the extra rate would still have applied if one of you owned another property already. Honestly can’t think of any other ‘tax advantage’ there might have been and, as others have already said, that’s beside the point really - the whole situation stinks of being misled by someone who you should be able to trust. I hope you get some help sorted soon!

Oh my goodness OP this is serious. You need to find out the real truth as soon as you can because he obviously knows more than he's letting on.

He/they are gaslighting you. Get legal advice NOW. Tell him that if he does not put your name on the deed that you are leaving (but he prepared to do it). This is thievery.

Id leave too. The “ungrateful” rubbish would have pushed me right over the edge.

OP has said they live in Oman but the house is in the U.K.

That shouldn’t be too difficult to sort out.

I’m surprised U.K. solicitors would be able to .do anything without the agreement of OP, as DH’s spouse and co-owner of the house. So I wonder if what they’re saying is even true.

I think you need to get the deeds changed. Is the mortgage coming out of a joint account? I can't understand why they'd do this unless they are trying to screw you over? You can sign the paperwork without physically being present too, well I did anyway.

Sorry but legal action immediately

I would be more then annoyed

If one of you were to file for divorce in the UK, the house would be considered a joint asset anyway and fair game for being split 50/50. However, you do need to check the state of play re the laws on divorce in whatever country you are living in as the same may not apply. Is there any proof that you may have been either duped/ defrauded or forced to pay under duress, or not of sound mind at the time the transaction was made? Those are possible scenarios that could be said to apply depending on what proof you have but would be difficult, expensive and cumbersome procedures from within the UK, let alone abroad where the divorce law may be different. Also, a word about the place where divorce is filed from because...if he were to suddenly do it wherever you are based, I think you may be subject to the divorce legislation in that country regarding division of assets and if the house is not in your name, you could lose out. I would secretly get some legal advice from a British lawyer and a local one just so you have a clear picture of what your rights are abroad and in the UK. And...really talk to him and try to get him to do the right thing by you. Good luck.

You've been had my love, take legal action asap.

If house is in the UK, you can search who owns it here.www.gov.uk/get-information-about-property-and-land/search-the-register

I would want my name down. How is suborder law in this country you are in?

How are the divorce laws I meant to say

Hope you're ok OP :( this is beyond awful. Be very careful what you say to him.

@stellavisionandunderstanding if any of this was above board and for "tax reasons" he would have discussed this with you before not after the event and sought your consent.

None of this was for your benefit.

They've basically stolen your money. Is there a reason why you haven't had this conversation with all 3 of them and asked them why they took your money without your permission?

You say you were concentrating on having your child: that is not even close to a decent explanation as to why you gave your DH full access to your finances and did not engage fully with the process. None.

You need legal advice ASAP and you need to make it clear that you are either added to the property deeds or you will instigating a solicitor to retrieve that money on your behalf.

This is a deal breaker for me and total financial abuse. Grounds for divorce even. Utter abuse of trust.

I'm gobsmacked at how this has been allowed to happen?

I'm sorry if this post is harsh but the last thing you need is a legion of people patting you on the back telling you it will all be ok... it won't.

Pull yourself together and sort this mess out pronto.

You MUST change this to Joint Tenants; he can legally dispose of the house anyway he likes, particularly leave it to anyone in his will and you have no recourse. For example, image you stay together and eventually he leaves the house to your (adult) children, who want it sold for "their" share of his estate. You have no right to keep the house. Also, if you "joint tenants" he can ONLY leave it to you (which is TAX FREE) because you are married. "Tenants in Common" is a category where he can leave his share to anyone, but not yours, nor can he sell the house without your permission. You can also register an "Interest" in the property which means he can't remortgage it without your permission. I think you would be naiive to accept there is any tax reason more beneficial than marriage in owning property.

You tell him his parents did not pay your share of the money you did and that he damn well best get your name on the deeds and to hell with the extra tax its about you having security in regards to your money. At the very least you want it witnessed by a solicitor and put in writing that you paid xxxx amount into the property and that should you split that amount is paid back to you in full once requested. Currently he could throw you out with nothing. Sorry but I would be telling him if he does not sort this I will be divorcing him because he fraudulently took and invested your money. I would be tempted to involve the police if he refuses as you must have a paper trail showing you sold property and the transfer of that money into the account he paid for the property from.