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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that a joint house is not in my name

238 replies

stellavisionandunderstanding · 21/09/2019 18:54

AIBU?

I sold my house in the UK and my husband and I bought a house together. We live abroad. His parents do everything and everything is passed by them. At the time I was focused on having our second child and before I knew it, his parents had taken him to an accountant to sort out the deeds and the paperwork.

I'm really cross about this as my rights by hanging my name on a house has been lost and this is not what I signed up to. I keep saying when do I sign something and then he finally told me what they'd gone and done.

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it. It annoys me that this was done for tax reasons by his parents rather than protecting the right I had. I'd like to go back and do further study and now I can't show evidence for local frees rather than international. Please tell me I'm being unreasonable!

OP posts:
makingmiracles · 21/09/2019 21:52

Gosh, what a situation to Be in and particularly in that country.

I’d personally not confront anyone, husband or in laws...if they have scammed you, you don’t want them knowing you’re onto them as they may go to further lengths to cover their tracks...

First thing I’d do is apply to see who the title deeds are named in, someone upthread said it’s about £12, if you can’t access that info From Oman I’d ask a friend or relative in the U.K. to.

I’d use every oppotunity when hes out the home to search for paperwork relating to this and any bank statements, photograph anything you find and make sure you either have a passcode on your phone or better still email it to yourself or a family member. I’d also be finding yours and dcs passports And putting them somewhere safe he can’t find them and getting yourself and children back to the U.K. as soon as possible. ONCE back here and safe You can find legal advice/solicitor.

bananasaidso · 22/09/2019 16:20

Btw if the property your husband is bought in the UK and you can't get him to put your name on the deeds then you can put a charge against the property to secure your investment in the house. That way if he has to sell the property then he will either have to pay you back first or when he sells it you will get your money back from the proceeds. Consult a solicitor about it.

MzHz · 22/09/2019 16:30

Look into putting a legal charge on the property

SherbetSaucer · 22/09/2019 16:58

He is fobbing you off. Thats not his parents. Thats him

Agreed! I’d say he’s getting his ducks in a row because he’s not planning on being in the relationship long-term. I’d get legal advice immediately!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 22/09/2019 17:27

Tell him to sort it now! Actually seek your own legal advice and get him to sign 50% or joint ownership of EVERYTHING to you

Toomuchtrouble4me · 22/09/2019 17:30

No, just bloody insist - How DARE he?
It’s disgusting - make an appt with the same solicitor and drag him along to get it changed. Tell him if he’s that worried about continuing his tax-evasion then he can sign the whole thing over to you.

nettie434 · 22/09/2019 17:45

I wish I could tell you that you were being unreasonable but I think what he and his parents have done is awful. This is a rhetorical question rather than me prying into details you may want to keep private, but what country in the world has a system where you would pay so much less tax that it’s worth potentially losing your property rights?

IAmTheMumWhoKnocks · 22/09/2019 17:47

I’m really sorry but your husband is coming you. If he isn’t then your name needs to be on that flat. Absolute BS from his parents. You should have been consulted and you and your husband should agree on the outcome, not him and his parents.

Butterfly84 · 22/09/2019 17:50

I would do whatever it takes to get your name on those house details. Be civil whilst you do this.

And then I would divorce him. Seriously. He is financially abusing you. This paying less tax excuse...his parents put their son's name on the details because he is THEIR son, you are not their daughter and they've done this so he could sell the house and take all the money. I bet anything he will have known all along what they were doing.

justasking111 · 22/09/2019 17:51

So you have handed him an asset that he can borrow against thus reducing the equity, which means you may find yourself robbed of your money.

Longlongsummer · 22/09/2019 17:51

Solicitor first thing to work out what you can do now.

bpirockin · 22/09/2019 17:51

Decidedly underhand and bang out of order IMHO. These interfering and controlling parents appear to be everywhere - what a nerve they have! I'm not sure how it is beneficial tax wise, but it sure as hell is not beneficial to you. I hope that you can get it sorted ASAP, and in future his parents worry about their own finances and stay out of yours. Your name being on the next flat is not good enough - what the hell was he thinking to do this without first discussing it with you?

Bluntness100 · 22/09/2019 17:52

There is not more tax if your name is on the deeds.

Your husband isn't a good man. He's just stolen from you. And no you don't automatically get half in a divorce.

Get your name on the deeds and then divorce him.

INeedAFlerken · 22/09/2019 17:52

Hope you're ok, OP.

Isaidnomorecrisps · 22/09/2019 17:56

Hi - would you ask really clearly and simply what the extra tax could be.
There isn’t any.

What he is saying only works if you’re not married. (They seem to be planning for less stamps duty and capital gains tax on purchase of a second flat.)
Honestly - either they misunderstood the tax consequences or they’re lying. I’m sorry.

weemazda29 · 22/09/2019 18:00

I haven't read every reply yet but I have noticed you haven't mentioned what country it is yet and that makes me very nervous that you know your being used I don't see what his issue is with putting your name on the title and even if it was for tax reasons why didn't he talk to you about it before hand for the two of you to decided on the out come..... you need to seek legal advise because I fear your going to lose everything or end up being stuck in a relationship with an uncommitted man and I know you will be terrified but you are not in a gd position right now he holds every single card of your life and you have nothing no power and in a different country and if he can do this and lie to you what else is he capable off am sorry it's harsh I know it is but you are in a seriously vulnerable position right now xxxxxxx

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/09/2019 18:00

Don't confront them yet!!! if they are conning you that will just tip them off.
Gather as much information as you can. Use your phone to take photos of everything you have access to .
Do find a local lawyer who understands UK law, there must be plenty in Oman, maybe a Brit expat and go on your own to find out wherre you stand.
Only then when you have made your plan and backup plan and you know your rights should you make demands and deal with Him. Not his parents. Do you have real life support? any family etc..

Loreleigh · 22/09/2019 18:03

You are not being at all unreasonable - I'd be stark raving fg furious if anybody did this behind my back - if I were you I'd insist on my rights. Sod what his bloody parents want, it is not their house, unless they've made themselves, or got your husband to make them, part owners or in some way they'd inherit the house if anything happened to your husband. You need to protect any investments or assets that are yours, part yours, or half yours - potentially you could be left with sweet bugger all if hubby and his parents ganged up on you for any reason or your relationship ended at some stage in the future. Protect what is yours now - tell them clearly it is nothing to do with whether or not you trust them but everything to do with protecting your rights, your assets, your investments, your home, yours and your children's futures etc. Don't listen to any BS excuses, stand firm and cover your arse before they whip it! There could be a lot more consequences than a name on paperwork here! Good luck (and tell hubby not to be such a bloody mummy's boy)

CheungS255 · 22/09/2019 18:05

You best get legal advice asap. I have been dealt with this card and i lost all rights to the house because it is not in my name. There may be nothing you can do about it. But if there is and you can sue, sue them to hell. His parents like my husband and his parents had screwed me over and all my money was used to buy the damn house which are not even put in my name. You cannot and i mean CANNOT trust your husband and the lies he fed you. You must take whatever legal actions for fraud against your husband and this will cause your marriage breakdown. I didnt sue my husband and now he is screwing other sluts with my house and i lost everything.

managedmis · 22/09/2019 18:05

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loltara · 22/09/2019 18:06

Write to the Land Registry and put a dispute warning on the title. Then get the right forms to add your name to the Title. That's just a case if him signing. Then it gets sent back for the Title to be altered at the Land Registry. You can lig on to the Land Registry for the relevant forms to download. If you want a dynamic lawyer who deals with ordinarily family law, but this falls into that category as you are married, get in touch with Pearl Baker in Rayleigh in Essex, UK. I can assure you, she is dynamic. Good luck.

managedmis · 22/09/2019 18:06

I haven't read every reply yet but I have noticed you haven't mentioned what country it is yet a

^
She did.

Oman.

Teddybear45 · 22/09/2019 18:07

It doesn’t matter whose name is on a property if you’re married. In the event of a divorce a solicitor can still force a deed change, especially if there’s a money trail to prove you financed it. A lot of men don’t realise this and get shocked when they lose 60-80 percent of everything in their names

Village48 · 22/09/2019 18:10

You need to get this sorted through the UK land registry. I think it’s in Peterborough. It costs around £3 online to find out whose name the house is in - anyone can do this, I did to check on who owned the rented house next to me.
Anyway, my ex took my name off our house deeds when I refused to remortgage to basically fund his drink prob!! It caused great problems when I divorced him. You basically have no rights at all to that property but I believe it’s as simple as you both writing to the land registry to solve it. Get online to them tonight
Good luck

TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/09/2019 18:13

I think the OP is saying the actual house is in the UK.

Don’t you pay less stamp duty if you haven’t owned a house before? That would be a reason to put the property in the husband’s name if he hasn’t owned a property before.

However it obviously leaves the OP in a very vulnerable position.

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