To be annoyed that a joint house is not in my name

[stellavisionandunderstanding]

AIBU?

I sold my house in the UK and my husband and I bought a house together. We live abroad. His parents do everything and everything is passed by them. At the time I was focused on having our second child and before I knew it, his parents had taken him to an accountant to sort out the deeds and the paperwork.

I'm really cross about this as my rights by hanging my name on a house has been lost and this is not what I signed up to. I keep saying when do I sign something and then he finally told me what they'd gone and done.

He keeps saying we'll buy another flat in a few years and your name will be on it. It annoys me that this was done for tax reasons by his parents rather than protecting the right I had. I'd like to go back and do further study and now I can't show evidence for local frees rather than international. Please tell me I'm being unreasonable!

Oman

Oh shit

The house he bought in his name now is in the UK? The one you bought off his parents ?

If he didn't accept your very valid concerns and fix it, it would be the end of the marriage. You're going to struggle trusting him as it is, a bad response now and you'll never trust him again.
I'd tell him to choose between going to office Monday morning and getting it fixed and then going to marriage counselling together (which you'll need, because your trust is gone right now) or a divorce.
And if it wasn't fixed quickly then I would divorce.

And is this his home country, OP? I assume yes.

I’d be making plans to return to the U.K. with the children.

If it’s Oman they recognise the woman’s right to have fully separate financial identity. This would be considered theft in the gulf. A husband is not allowed to tap into his wife’s money or expect any of it.

So you would be safe taking this to court and presenting evidence NOW that he stole your money.

You now live in Oman
The house you bought is in UK
He used your money for 50% of the purchase and your name isn’t on it?

You are in a very vulnerable position. He has effectively taken your money in a country where you many have few rights

Well, you're screwed.

Don’t get side tracked by the parents thing- deal with that later.

Ask to see all the papers. Then decide what to do next. I suggest you pretend to be reasonably happy with it- you don’t want to do anything that might make him leave you. You’ll never get your money back then. You need to play a clever game.

You’ve literally been stolen from

OP please in future do not hand over money without seeing and signing all relevant paperwork

I don’t say this to be patronising. Your replies make it sound like you blame his parents but the simple reality of adult life is you must deal with your financial matters, you cannot just hand it to someone unless you’ve lost capacity and they are your LPA.

Is your marriage registered in civil courts in the Uk OP?!!!

YANBU and I cannot think of any tax related reason why a property should be registered just in your DHs name rather than joint. I would be furious especially if you selling your house in the UK and I cannot understand him calling you ungrateful? You need legal advice but not sure of the situation in Oman where they are not known for being sympathetic to womens' rights. If the property is in the UK though surely you can get advice from a UK solicitor and insist your husband change the ownership? If he will not I would be seriously reconsidering this relationship.

Is it a house in the UK that is in his name? Sell it.

@YouJustDoYou , why did you tell OP she's screwed? @MrsNotNice seems to speak with more authority, and she thinks being in Oman strengthens OP's case.

Holy sh1t OP. They have totally screwed you over

Do you have all the paperwork from the sale of your home and paperwork showing that you transferred money to him?

You need a really good lawyer. You need to secure said lawyer quietly.

Actually as someone else above has pointed out in Islamic law, women's goods are not automatically thier husband's - that's a Christian chatel thing .

Is Oman his home country?
I suggest you calm it all down, pretend to let it lie and get you and your kids back to the UK any which way you can.
Then get legal advice on how to get your money/property back.
If that means divorce, so be it.

And yes, get all paperwork secured, make sure you have all the financial info you need. Copy it or take photos, email it to yourself and someone trusted in the UK.

No were both from the UK.

One of the very few rights that are non disputable in the Middle East is the woman’s right to have her desperate finances and not have it taken by her husband.

I have a friend in a similar situation and I looked into this for her.

They don’t recognise the 50/50 split after divorce though.

Under UK law you will need civil marriage registered to be protected. And then take documents to lawyers.

Under Oman law, you need to present evidence of origin of the money he bought house with and you transferring to him, or that the UK house was bought with your money.. and this won’t be taken lightly you can take this to family court and it will be resolved.

But the longer you leave it the more opportunities he gets to con.

I wouldn’t trust him anymore

Get a solicitor and seek legal advice. My ex bought two houses using my half of the profits from our joint business in his sole name. I'm not getting less than half the value of them back. Major major red flag. Especially if you've financially contributed to the purchase of the new house.

Are you legally married in the uk? I’d leave over this. You might want to start another thread about options to leave with the children if you’re living in Oman.
You had assets. He has taken them. He tells you you should be grateful he has stolen them from you. No you shouldn’t. I would say I will have my assets recognised in my name, good husbands do not steal from their wives. if divorce is the only way for that to happen then I can kick it off tomorrow.