Children should be locked up and never heard

[LittleBlueBag]

I'm a single mother and today went to a large out of town store with my toddler twins who are almost 3. Too old for the pram and eager to explore.
I was paying for an item at the till and one of the twins was looking at a mug. He touched it but it remained on the hook. The other twin was happy playing with a car from the store.
They were being loud but were excited. A staff member who must of just finished her shift and was behind me waiting to pay for an item told me the children were very naughty and we should not be allowed out in public if I can't control them. She said they're behaviour is awful and just made me feel really shitty about myself.
They are a handful and can be naughty but just normal toddler behaviour.
I must of turned my back on them for a split second. It's impossible to carry them both.
So wise mumnetters? Are my children really that bad?
I did complain to the manager but I was so ashamed.

Yabbers . She is a parent of toddler twins with speech delay. She surely doesn’t need to state the obvious that she is stressed.

I tell both my children not to mess before we even get into the car to go, they don't listen at all

try harder, try something else, how do you think the rest of us manage?
I bet you still manage to stop your kids from doing a lot of things and make them do a lot of others, so why would one be any different from the other?

I sympathise with stressed parents, we’ve all been there
But off you pop cunty chops/ did you mean to be so rude isn’t going to turn this around
It won’t render anyone contrite or speechless. It’ll not garner any support

Good grief the responses! OP, she was being rude. These responses highlight how we live in a society with some serious hostility towards children.

It's always twins, isn't it. And 'would of' 'should of'. People with toddlers and young children need to realise society and the world don't revolve around their sprogs.

It's always twins, isn't it.

Oh I forgot, according to some on MN, twins don’t exist in real life!

🤷‍♀️

Adult should also be able to read situation overt & covert cues and not berate a parent with small children

@LittleBlueBag As a fellow mum of twin toddlers with delays due to premature birth and for mine, low birth weight I salute you for going out in public at all! I think you've had the worst of MN today and I'm sorry for that. Truth is for a lot of people unless they've been in your shoes they find it difficult to comprehend how difficult it is to have twins with speech and developmental delays.

Mine are fantastic, so well behaved most of the time and so loving. But that doesn't mean they're above exploring the world in a way that suits their developmental level. I ask those who haven't had prem babies to imagine a child with the physical capabilities of a toddler but the mental abilities are behind. That doesn't make them stupid and eventually they do catch up, mine are half and half, DS is extremely behind on language development but doing well in catching up physically, DD is ahead on her mental development but behind physically.

As such, when my DS who is such a lovely boy, has a meltdown in public I have to comfort him and speak to him in the way that works for him, by cuddling and holding firm until his tantrum calms down and then cuddling him gently and rocking him. I've had some nasty comments from perfect strangers who simply do not know what it's like.

OP has said her toddlers were on reigns but she had to turn her back for a fraction of a second to pay. In that time they had their hands on/in stuff, I'm sure she reprimanded them, but if they can't comprehend the instructions she has given at this point, what more could she do? Strap them into a buggy so they scream in frustration and she gets side eye from folks for twins who are desperate to roam screaming their lungs out? Keep herself and her children indoors because it might inconvenience others if they play up a bit? Seriously, this thread (bar a few decent posters) has been absolutely atrocious and certainly not the support that mothers should be offering one another. SMH

....hostility towards mothers too. A father taking out toddler twins would be congratulated on it, regardless of how noisy they were. Ffs.

British people seem so intolerant of children, this thread has proved it. I think children should be heard. You should be able to take them to supermarkets, shopping centres and on public transport without grumpy intolerant people complaining. Of course children misbehave sometimes, people should accept that. I personally love to hear children and see their character.

OP - you did nothing wrong. This is just our nasty culture. Learn to ignore the comments of rude strangers and don't let it ruin your day.

Touching a mug? Playing with a toy car (which I assume was unpackaged and within reach of toddlers)? Making some noise?

I don't see anything wrong with any of the above tbh.

I would’ve been seriously offended if someone said that to me and I would report it to the manager.

Unless you are massively minimising what your kids weren’t doing she could’ve said things more politely without getting personal.

British people seem so intolerant of children, this thread has proved it

FWIW, in my experience most Brits aren't actually like this. I don't know if it's mumsnet in general or just threads like these that attract very tightly-wound people, but I don't think it's really representative of British people in general. I see kids being noisy and boisterous in public all the time and nobody bats an eyelid.

British people seem so intolerant of children, this thread has proved it.

it's funny, British parents seem to be the least strict and most opposed to any discipline and british kids have an awful reputation abroad.
Reading SOME of the comments, I can understand why..

People not saying anything wrong in bad behaviour summarising it well.

Toddlers are hard. I would imagine twin toddlers are very very difficult to manage. I don’t know why we’re so keen to jump on and give other mothers a kicking on MN.

Sorry you had a shit day OP

Toddler-sized children running around in shops are dangerous imo. Because they're well below the eyeline of the average adult, they're easy to overlook and I've lost count of the number of times I've almost fallen over one as I walk round a shop, or nearly knocked one over with a trolley in the supermarket.

. People with toddlers and young children need to realise society and the world don't revolve around their sprogs

Yes, this. The reason why many people seem so rude to parents is because the parents aren't doing anything resembling parenting.

Leighhalfpennysthigh

You are being judgemental. And I’m sorry to say this but I remember you from a thread saying you don’t have kids of your own, so I don’t think it’s fair to judge someone’s parenting like that when you have not tried for yourself how hard it can be.

Sorry to be blunt..

But if the OP stops taking to shops etc, how will they learn how to behave in one? Or that not every outing will be to entertain them?

Plus, I sometimes wanted DS to get tired out at the shop as we weren't going to the park that day (generally due to rain) and there weren't many alternatives where we used to live, particularly on a budget .

And by tired out, I mean from walking, not disturbing anyone.

I for one am glad to see so many industry-leading experts on parenting developmentally delayed children here, because none of my children’s specialists or therapists can tell me how to teach my children these things.

In fact the only area in which my twins aren’t delayed is gross motor skills - they have the physical and climbing skills of advanced three year olds, and almost everything is is in the 0-11 months range according to a report i received today.

So please, O wise ones, share your incredible knowledge of being perfect parents to twins (you’ve never had) with delays (you’ve never experienced) so that OP and I can learn from your superior skills.

@MrsNotNice so it's ok for a parent to say exactly the same thing? Nah. I'm a member of society who uses shops and other services and yes, I do have an opinion and yes I do judge. If you don't like that, then control your kids.

People with toddlers and young children need to realise society and the world don't revolve around their sprogs

This seems a bit backwards to me. Nothing in OP's post suggest she thinks the world revolves around her kids. If anything, it seems like you'd have to think the world revolves around you to tell somebody else not to leave the house just because YOU couldn't bear the noise a couple of children make. I mean Jesus, how does someone like that cope with everyday life?

OP that woman was just rude. I hear ya! I'm not a single parent but since having one dd I'm in complete awe of all single parents. You do a brilliant job I'm sure. You've said your children have communication delay so people lay off and give the woman a break!

Society also doesn’t revolve around authoritarian joyless adults who think children must not make any noise. Or be audible or tactile

The reason why many people seem so rude to parents is because the parents aren't doing anything resembling parenting.

Funny how the best parents are always the ones who don’t have children.