Children should be locked up and never heard

[LittleBlueBag]

I'm a single mother and today went to a large out of town store with my toddler twins who are almost 3. Too old for the pram and eager to explore.
I was paying for an item at the till and one of the twins was looking at a mug. He touched it but it remained on the hook. The other twin was happy playing with a car from the store.
They were being loud but were excited. A staff member who must of just finished her shift and was behind me waiting to pay for an item told me the children were very naughty and we should not be allowed out in public if I can't control them. She said they're behaviour is awful and just made me feel really shitty about myself.
They are a handful and can be naughty but just normal toddler behaviour.
I must of turned my back on them for a split second. It's impossible to carry them both.
So wise mumnetters? Are my children really that bad?
I did complain to the manager but I was so ashamed.

'Its called parenting' - has to be up there with one of the most over used phrases on mumsnet

. I’m just not a judgemental person though

Yes you are. You just choose to judge me for saying the same thing that parents have said.

@MrsNotNice don't use something I say in one thread and twist it on another. If you are going to advance search me then do it properly. I have never and will never accept parents who let their children down by not attempting to manage their behaviour.

Blimey some of the comments... give the mum a break!!! She probably said she was a single mum as it normally means she's not got another adult to help at all, not to the shops, not at home, not in the evening not at all, mums who are not single might take the kids out alone yes, but they generally have the support of their partner at some point!!!

My kids can be a right handful, I try my best not to take them to the shops together as they seem to just play up! It's shit, and that woman was rude.

If I see or hear kids being loud, naughty or whatever if the parent is at least trying to sort them out I don't care at all, it's only when a parent lets their kids do as they please without even trying to teach them right from wrong.

Anyway, your doing great op, 2 toddlers is bloody hard work.

You couldn’t win on her op. The judgmental perfect parents are out in force
If you had not mentioned you were a single parent you would have got “why didn’t you leave them home with their dad”
If you had mentioned they had been in a pram you would have got “why are three year olds still in a pram, instead you got “why are they not in a pram”
Every single parent on here even though some may not admit it will have had times when their little darlings play up. I have worked in retail and always tried to help customers with children rather then give sarky comments.

Leighhalfpennysthigh
Are you honestly saying you never had a tile when you took your eyes of your kids for one second and they did something naughty. Really!!!!

I have learned that it is unwise to admit to less than perfectly behaved kids on Mumsnet as you always get this sort of response. Of course you also get judgment from people for using a buggy past the age of 1 or reins or whatever so there's no way of winning. I don't really get the"why do you let them?" thing. You don't "let" them. You run around after them stopping them and telling them off, but prevention is a different thing altogether.

Leighhalfpennysthigh

I do reserve the right to be judgemental back on those thinking it’s ok to judge others. Should’ve clarified. It’s called putting people in their place so they get off their high horse.

I’m not sorry about that.

I have octuplets and they are always perfectly behaved in their matching pinafores. As quiet as mice.

Wow @MrsNotNice. Lots of posters have expressed the same opinion as @Leighhalfpennysthigh. It is disgusting to me that you would single her out the way you have. That was an absolutely unnecessary personal attack on her, and you owe her an apology.

I do reserve the right to be judgemental back on those thinking it’s ok to judge others

And I reserve the right to judge those I find to be patronising arseholes.

There, we are even

I work in a Library p/t. The amount of adults who complain on the sly about childrens' baby bounce activities or just toddlers talking excitedly to each other. Or we get 'wow, must be terrible putting up with that noise, how do you do it? I just tell them in deadpan disinterested voice that childrens' noise doesn't bother me and to try to find a library that doesn't have a childrens' section.

Too many miserable soul adults in this country who can't stand exuberance and children sounding happy, so label it naughty. I love being abroad where people aren't uptight about children being around and don't expect them to be perfectly silent. It's refreshing.

I try hard to teach them right from wrong. I didn't get a chance to tell the twin off before I had a row. My back was turned for literally a second. I always tell them off if they are naughty. How much they understand I'm not sure.
The lady serving me was also trying to talk to me whilst trying to pay, keep an eye on the twins whilst trying to have polite conversation with her. She was trying to talk to the twins also. Off course I would of told my child off if given the chance to do so. I'm not saying they are perfectly well behaved because they are not.

You sound great DeeDee . The librarians at our local library are great too. Lots of activities on for kids. They shut down any noise complaints with icy politeness explaining that the library is happy to welcome children and wants to encourage them.

You’ve had a terrible and unfair pasting.That’s how it goes sometimes
Dust yourself down, and don’t dwell on mn comments or the sales asst comments
Every child has a wobble. The mine are meek and only squeak crew are lying

OP . I hope you can console yourself with the fact that you are not a judgemental person who kicks a struggling parent when they’re down.

They didn't break anything, they are just being kids. Maybe I'm more tolerate as I have young children at the moment. The markup on items is massive and allows for some shrinkage through theft or it being shop soiled. Touch all you like.

At nearly 3 I'm surprised you can get reins on them. I think my DS refused from 2 ish. We have used the buggy up until 3, but not at the shops more for walks. But with twins I would think you would need to use something with both to chase.

I hate to see older kids tied in buggies for hours in the shops.

The women was horrible, think what you like but don't say it. I try to ignore any rudeness like this, but it does touch a nerve.

The markup on items is massive and allows for some shrinkage through theft or it being shop soiled. Touch all you like.

and eat any food you like whilst you are doing your weekly supermarket shop too?

The sense of entitlement and the rudeness of some people is just beyond words.

My Grandma actually did used to say that children should be seen and not heard, but she was born in 1896.

No person who wishes to maintain their sanity would queue up with one three-year-old for 20 minutes. Never mind twins.

I try to ignore any rudeness like this, but it does touch a nerve.

do you mean people pointing out your completely unreasonable attitude? yes, truth hurts

There are a lot of bloody annoying, loud adults out there. I notice it all the time these days when i’m trying to get DS to sleep in his pram.

I’m the mother of a curious, loud, very high energy almost two year old OP. We’ve been shouted at in Lidl. I don’t know how you do it with two. Have a on me and don’t listen to the perfect brigade.

In general, adults are noisier and worse behaved than kids in my experience of life. Dee dee, great post.

they shouldn’t just run amok/be extremely loud for extended periods of time/in appropriate places with the expectation of others to just put up with it

halloumi yeah I often feel like that when I'm on bus to work with adults braying on their mobile phones as if nobody else is around or we all want to be 'treated to their screaming convo before 9am. There's always one

Kids noise is music compared to that.

Ffs OP I'd love to see these perfect parent posters try and keep 3 year old twins perfectly quiet and still walking next to you whilst holding hands I'm sure that would be a laugh but by the sounds of it a buggy will sort all your problems out until mnetters decide they're much too old for a buggy and your big double buggy annoys them too.

Or maybe just lock them up until they're 10?

She was a dick , you can't do right for doing wrong when it comes to parenting.

and eat any food you like whilst you are doing your weekly supermarket shop too?

What are you talking about? There is an obvious difference between touching a mug (how precious does somebody need to be to get upset about a child touching a mug?) and eating food you haven't paid for in a supermarket.