To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

On balance I think YABU.

Even if you didn't like it, the woman did no harm and it sounds like you likely humiliated her in your response.

To all the posters comparing stroking a baby's cheek to unsolicited touching of an adult: I wouldn't blink at my husband undressing our baby, but I might intervene if I caught him undressing our teenager..

@TrainspottingWelsh the consultant told me that Ecoli is the biggest cause of UTI’s, it breeds in healthy people/animals intestines and comes out in poo. So in my baby’s case, it was literally a case of someone not washing their hands properly after the toilet/touching an animal. Not coincidental at all

I wouldn't have reacted how you did but I do find it odd that people feel it's ok to touch a strangers baby. I may ask how old they are or say they're beautiful but I wouldn't take it upon myself to touch them, because I don't know them. For those that think it's ok, would you be okay with a stranger touching your 2 year old? 5 year old? 10 year old? When does it become not acceptable to touch a strangers face or leg that you don't know?

Zebraaa I don’t think I stated the thumb thing as fact. This girl I knew seriously had one thumb smaller than the other and it was the one she sucked. I didn’t say this happens to everyone fs. Pretty sure I also used the word think and not this is what happens for a fact.

elvis86 See you and others are missing out the part where the poster told the woman no, twice. So yes, it is comparable to a man touching a woman and not stopping when she says no. No means no, start fucking listening to people when they say it.

@chesterfuckingdraws because they are cute

shoes can't comment on people not washing their hands after using the toilet. That's disgusting regardless of ecoli. But if contact with animals, let alone third hand contact risked ecoli it would be a lot more common, not just in the farming community but with many pet owners. Not to mention both a consultant's and a midwife's dc were amongst the small and grubby pony clubbers that regularly touched dd, and had been raised in the same fashion themselves.

Okay so the person being unfair is the mother and not the waiter.. 🤔
People have pounced on the OP like a pack of wolves, disgusting behaviour from some 'adults' here.
The mother's wishes were ignored twice. No one has any right to touch a child regardless if their cute a baby isn't public bloody property.
An adult touching you is okay is it? No different for a child! No one should have to tell someone not to touch your child.
All the people telling the OP she is weird and to get a grip need to take a long hard look in the mirror...

I think if you are prepared to take your baby out at 10 weeks then germs etc should be the issue here as one little touch of the cheek isn’t going to do anything

Fuck me what do you have to do keep them locked up a year?

OP, YANBU the only people BU is the ones ignoring your wishes and taking the waitresses side! Says a lot really.

Where i live complete strangers stroke babies cheeks and put money into their prams. It is just aof welcoming a child and saying goodluck and a long life. OP take it you would have no objection to someone grabbing hold of your childs hand before they ran into the road or would you rather they didnt touch your child ?

op if you are that paranoid about your baby becoming ill why take him out ? after all what about traffic fumes, people sneezing and just general dirt ? You need to be calm

Lowlandlucky Ahh yes, woman isn’t listen to so now woman must stay in doors. Did you miss the pet where the waitress was asked twice to stop touching the baby? Are we allowed to ignore no means no now? And why the fuck would you compare saving a child from a collision to being touched while told to stop, while safely in a pushchair? For example, I don’t beat my kids, I don’t want others to beat them but if they choke of course I’m going to be slapping their back as hard as I can (I have had to do this a few times) with my elder daughter it was a doctor that was battering her back, why would you compare that to if she was just standing around and a stranger starts grabbing at her body?

@Aaarrgghhh unfortunately a lot of people are over seeing that the OP asked TWICE not to touch her baby. But don't forget how the OP made that poor waitress feel.. the OP must be blinkers for taking her 10 week old out. Didn't you know you have to keep them locked up away from everyone, car fumes... running into roads... 😂

I think if you are prepared to take your baby out at 10 weeks then germs etc should be the issue here as one little touch of the cheek isn’t going to do anything

I took mine out for lunch in a cafe at less than 48 hours old! Surely no one stays at home for 10 weeks?!

God this is horrendous. I should clearly not be leaving the house with my 10 week old DS. I didn’t realise I must bow to every random stranger and their RIGHT to paw at him, in case I offend them.
Seldom read a thread with such blatant fuckwittery all over the place.

I can understand you don't want people touching your baby but I bet you made the waitress feel really shitty about herself. A lot of people love babies and she was just admiring your baby. I dislike people touching my baby but I just smile when it happens as people aren't doing it to be rude, they are just fussing over your precious bundle of joy

There's some very stupid people on here. I've just read a link from an American University Hospital that advises parents not to allow people to touch their small babies during flu season as it's so contagious. So a person, like a waitress for example who is touching multiple surfaces and utensils all day long, touches your babies face or clothing, your baby touches that area themselves and then puts their hand in their mouth as babies do and develops flu.

But sure let's all feel sorry for the poor, friendly waitress who should have just kept her hands to herself when asked to. Definitely the feelings of grown random adults who like grabbing other people's babies matter more than whether a baby gets ill or not and definitely more than their mother feeling uncomfortable about. Ridiculous!

YANBU OP and I think you've had a hard time on here from some PPs (who are of course entitled to voice their opinion, even if, for some, the message is lost by the sheer rudeness and aggression).

I don't have kids but I'd never touch a stranger's baby without asking! And If I had a child of ANY age I wouldn't expect them to submit to being patted/stroked/whatever by anyone if they didn't want to. Your baby can't speak so it's up to you to make these decisions until they're old enough. You were very clear with your (reasonable) boundaries which were ignored. The waitress was the rude one and no amount of "oh but she didn't mean any harm" etc excuses that IMO.

but I bet you made the waitress feel really shitty about herself. A lot of people love babies and she was just admiring your baby.

Exactly. Try for a moment to put yourself in her situation. 🙄🙄

owl89 So fucking what if she made the waitress feel shit, maybe the waitress should learn to listen and then she won’t be scolded a second time. Fucking hell, I’d love to see these comments when older children or adults are being touched and the person touching is ignoring the word no. We won’t see that though, babies are clearly just objects to be pawed all over.

@TrainspottingWelsh I would assume that people working in those industries are slightly more over zealous in washing their hands than Joe Public 🤷‍♀️ I would have included myself in that before also. It wasn’t until I had to stay in the hospital with my baby and they had the “hand washing” pictures everywhere that I had ever gone to those lengths to wash my hands. Always just a quick rub and rinse before

shoesarefab They might clean their hands more but they are also handling a lot more germs. Don’t touch babies unless you ask first and get permissions. It’s so simple that I’m amazed that people aren’t quite grasping it. Ask first, no means no etc come on now, you all know this.

Did you miss the pet where the waitress was asked twice to stop touching the baby

I think that's the important part here. Regardless of the OPs reasons, it's her baby and she makes the decisions.

@Aaarrgghhh you’re preaching to the converted here . My comment was in response to another posters that their baby was touched by people working with animals all the time and they didn’t get sick.

I agree with the not touching as I explained upthread, my 6 day old baby contracted E.Coli because someone didn’t wash their hands and touched him

shoesarefab Oh. Sorry about that, complete confusion on my end. That’s awful to hear about your baby, when my daughter first came home we had to ask everyone to use sanitiser before touching her, even we had to use it for most things we did with her. It was weird at first but I kind of miss the reassurance of it but it’s not really needed now as long as hands are clean and the house isn’t dirty etc.