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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have to tell someone

451 replies

FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 18:43

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

OP posts:
NoSauce · 20/09/2019 22:17

Hysteria fits perfectly here.

welshbaby2009 · 20/09/2019 22:27

I absolutely adore babies. I would be desperate to interact but would never touch a strangers baby.

All new mothers have their own feelings on this matter and you are completely entitled to your own.

One time I was out and DS no 3 was having a very bad day, a lady in the play centre could see I was struggling and offered to interact with him. I was so nervous but she settled no3 (a couple of moths old) while I settled no2 ( age 3) I have remembered her kindness to this day and no3 is now 10.

I think you need to judge each situation but it’s merit and do what is right for you. Anyone who has had a child will completely understand.
Good luck

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 20/09/2019 22:33

I havent read the full thread but I find it odd that people think it's you being rude ! ,My daughter has anaphylaxis allergies and just touching her if you've had any dairy, milk, wheat, olive oil, soya and multiple other things on your hands that will transfer to her so no I don't think yabu I now have a sign on my pram after a school mum who was eating cheese and onion crisps and tries to touch her face and didn't like the fact I moved the pram away from her so she couldn't touch her !

avamiah · 20/09/2019 22:43

Lovewinemorethanhusband,
Yes what is it with strangers wanting to touch another persons baby without asking first ??

CarolDanvers · 20/09/2019 22:46

For you perhaps @NoSauce...

Agitetur · 20/09/2019 22:47

And what is it with these indoctrinated hollow westernised mothers who cannot see that the village, the teary recently bereaved waitress,the disconsolate,the grabby handled massses want to handle a baby even when asked (twice) not too

Duck90 · 20/09/2019 22:55

I have zero interest in reaching out to touch a baby. Strangers children are not that interesting.

Just wish people would stop touching my dog, with out warning. Especially sticky children, whose parents seem to think fluffy dogs are for their children’s amusement.

avamiah · 20/09/2019 23:00

Duck90,
Hahahaha,
Just laughed out loud hahaha .
Wasn’t expecting that.
Omg I’m imagining little candy floss looking dogs.

Duck90 · 20/09/2019 23:04

Amamiah
Lol, yes candy floss is an issue 😀 takes days to get that out 😂

winniestone37 · 20/09/2019 23:05

I think you're over reacting, get a grip.

winniestone37 · 20/09/2019 23:06

@lovewinemorethanhusband though point takem Op does not state child has allergies.

Funguy · 20/09/2019 23:10

Because people like babies.It appears the waiter was actually a waitress.. You should stop being weird about people admiring your baby.

Agitetur · 20/09/2019 23:14

Yes stop asserting your wishes about your baby it’s weird. Apparently
Be a nice compliant woman who doesn’t repeat herself.twice.and don’t be rude
Heavens to Betsy,give these women the vote they get all uppity about everything
Let the village and the waitress with a deep sadness handle your baby

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 20/09/2019 23:24

Oh good god .

Why do new mothers find so much to take issue with ??

Motherhood is not a new phenomena but women have just got so precious with it .

Agitetur · 20/09/2019 23:29

Damn precious women.wanting their wishes respected. So touchy
They should leave their baby draped and ready for all to handle.
just in case a coach load of baby jigglers want to cop a feel

Vivianebrookskoviak · 21/09/2019 00:04

YANBU.

If it was a grown woman would you do it? No.
I don't see how it's different with a baby.
You might coo over an dog or cat like you would a baby and stroke the dog or cat but I can't see how it's acceptable to do the same to a baby.
I get the feeling those who would do that are the kind of people who stroke dogs and cats.

MarvellousMayhem · 21/09/2019 00:29

YANBU
I am baffled why people are saying you were rude!
@Agitetur you made me LOL
Heavens to Betsy!

LeahWarburton · 21/09/2019 00:33

YANBU. I don't understand why someone feels they have the right to touch a strangers baby. Surely you would at least ask if the parent minded, first? Babies are not public property.

SylvanianFrenemies · 21/09/2019 01:13

YANBU OP. I took my 8yo to the doctor today. The receptionist cried out "look at you, getting so big! Are enjoying school?" Then rested her hand on my DD's hair! I headbutted the bitch. That'll show her.

OkPedro · 21/09/2019 01:49

Did a pp actually say “There’s nothing worse than a stranger touching your baby”
I think of many worse things that could happen to my baby!
I learnt 10 years ago that MN does not relate to my experiences in life. I enjoy reading the helpful threads. I like the support so many are given but I can’t relate to a lot of parents on here.. I don’t live in constant fear of germs. I don’t worry if my children don’t have a bath everyday. I wonder if some posters just haven’t got a clue of real life problems..

ApplesinmyPocket · 21/09/2019 01:50

My interest and affectionate attraction to other people's babies (which I thought was rather natural, us all being humans and all, takes a village to raise a child etc) has been killed by MN over the years.

No-one need worry that I'll ever admire/look at/talk to/offer to hold/make conversation about their child, because it's now obvious to me that any such interactions are interpreted as hostile germ-laden takeovers.

It's a shame really because small children do try to engage strangers in smiley toddler communications, as I think is probably normal for little humans and perhaps beneficial for their social development, but I know from reading here it is unwelcomed, unwanted and brings out rage and disgust in a new parent.

OkPedro · 21/09/2019 01:50

😂 sylvanianfrenemies

OkPedro · 21/09/2019 01:52

Ah applesinmypocket a pp said they don’t want a village to raise their child.. Says it all really

Grandcentralstation · 21/09/2019 02:01

YANBU OP. I took my 8yo to the doctor today. The receptionist cried out "look at you, getting so big! Are enjoying school?" Then rested her hand on my DD's hair! I headbutted the bitch. That'll show her.

@SylvanianFrenemies I just died and my laughter resurrected me. Thank you Grin

Newmumatlast · 21/09/2019 02:03

Imo yanbu as I do think its really odd that strangers think it's appropriate to just randomly touch children when presumably they wouldnt do that to an adult

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