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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have to tell someone

451 replies

FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 18:43

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

OP posts:
Jellybeansincognito · 19/09/2019 20:06

What are you scared of op?

People are just being polite and showing an interest!
You get all sorts of unwanted attention when you have a child, I’d prefer the unsolicited stroking to the stares and tuts whilst your toddler is having a banshee screaming tantrum.

NoTheresa · 19/09/2019 20:07

You were rude.

EdWinchester · 19/09/2019 20:08

PFB? Get a grip.

ysmaem · 19/09/2019 20:09

You were a tad bit on the rude side.

PavlovaFaith · 19/09/2019 20:09

Massive overreaction. She was probably in disbelief.

FurryDogMother · 19/09/2019 20:10

Never get a puppy :)

AreWeAnywhereNear · 19/09/2019 20:13

I'm one of those people! I can't help it it's the squishy legs and the chubby cheeks.

To be fair even my teenagers put up with me squooshing their cheeks, I can't help it, I'm a touchy feely kinda girl 🤷🏻‍♀️

MeredithGrey1 · 19/09/2019 20:15

I think you overreacted but I also think once you’d said it the first time, she should have stopped, even if she thought you were unreasonable.

Littlemeadow123 · 19/09/2019 20:17

YANBU. Babies are not public property. You told her not to touch and she ignored you the first time which is reallu unreasonable.

SoyDora · 19/09/2019 20:17

I sometimes wonder whether I wander round in a calm, oblivious bubble but I can’t say that I’d even register sometime touching my baby!

Bubsworth · 19/09/2019 20:18

You were really rude OP that was unnecessary.

Gertie75 · 19/09/2019 20:19

They're just admiring your baby, I had all sorts of people coo over dd1, she had the most amazing fat thighs and I've lost count of how many people had a squeeze.

letsdolunch321 · 19/09/2019 20:21

Congratulations on your baby 💐

I agree there was an over reaction from you OP but equally I do feel touching your baby's face is not normal, hands and leg touching is the normal in my opinion.

In the bigger picture not everyone thinks when they see a new baby.

Toodloo16 · 19/09/2019 20:23

Hi 🙂
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. As a mum to 2 premature babies (one by 9wks & the other by 12wks) I completely understand. Your baby is 10wks old & the immune system not properly established, so a normal cold to you and me might not be the case for a brand new baby. Why anyone would feel like they have the right to touch someone elses baby is beyond me & the fact that she ignored your wishes is really rude... Don't feel bad about it xx

Original poster
FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 20:24

Maybe I was a bit rude but I think I was shocked that she touched his face. Thank you for the kind responses. Telling me to get a grip is a bit uncalled for I'm a FTM and scared he will get ill anyway. This is all new to me and of course I'm super over protective he's my child and I don't like random people touching him. I'm perfectly in my right 🙄

OP posts:
WizardOfAus · 19/09/2019 20:24

Major overreaction.

doodleygirl · 19/09/2019 20:24

Sometimes when I come on this site it is as if I have entered an alternative universe Grin

YABU and incredibly paranoid - perhaps you should talk to your health visitor about your anxieties.

Original poster
FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 20:25

No I don't need to talk to my HV I think being worried about a complete stranger touching his face is normal.

OP posts:
morrisseysquif · 19/09/2019 20:25

YANBU, the people who think you are, are inappropriate baby touching weirdos.

envelopeofpubes · 19/09/2019 20:26

YABU and a bit of a loon.

Original poster
FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 20:27

@envelopeofpubes thank you ☺️

OP posts:
QueenEnid · 19/09/2019 20:29

Lol. Yea I think YABU unreasonable too. But lots of people feel that way when they have their first so I wouldn't be too concerned that you're losing the plot just yet!

I think you just need to get some perspective about it. Someone being friendly and touching your baby- not an issue.

Someone Touching your baby who had just been smoking and literally just stubbed out a fag whilst blowing it into baby face? YANBU.

tryingoutgreyhair · 19/09/2019 20:29

Yanbu
I always hated it when strangers touched mine esp if they did things like put her dummy back in if it was next to her (felt total rage but I just grimaced politely)
It's completely intrusive
Now I'm perimenopausal I coo like mad over iccle babies but I don't touch them

teachermam · 19/09/2019 20:30

You need to stay inside

QueenEnid · 19/09/2019 20:30

@Gertie75 chubby baby thighs are THE BEST 😁😁😁😁😁

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