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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have to tell someone

451 replies

FairyDust92 · 19/09/2019 18:43

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

OP posts:
Andysbestadventure · 21/09/2019 18:29

People see babies like they do cute little animals, because that's what they are. Just like people want to stroke or pet a kitten or a puppy, they want to do the same to a baby. It is a natural nurturing instinct.

Yabu for being a crank OP, but Yanbu for being mad she didn't stop when you asked her to.

Aaarrgghhh · 21/09/2019 18:30

People keep comparing babies to dogs they want to pet, that’s fine I get the analogy but fuck me, are you people seriously walking up to random dogs to stroke them? Are you also encouraging your children to do the same? You need to wise up a bit, that’s not safe or advisable.

loveskaka · 21/09/2019 18:35

I was the same. Yanbu. X

MissPepper8 · 22/09/2019 20:13

Having a dummy in the first place is dreadful, though

If babies/toddlers get into thumb sucking it is worse for their teeth and as someone has pointed out above, it is reccomended to help prevent SIDS.

Aaarrgghhh · 22/09/2019 20:16

Also thumb shrinkage. I know someone who sucked her thumb all the time and it was smaller than the one she didn’t suck.

Aaarrgghhh · 22/09/2019 20:16

Although, I don’t know if that commonly happens but I’m sure I remember it.

HappyParent2000 · 23/09/2019 07:30

This topic is clearly Brexit 2.0

ScatteredMama82 · 23/09/2019 10:10

@NoTheresa who asked you? Go and take your judgy pants off.

spanglydangly · 23/09/2019 10:19

@NoTheresa what is wrong with dummies?

I had two fantastic sleepers, they didn't need dummies. I was lucky as others didn't sleep so well and needed more comfort. Never ever judged those.

However it's now been recommended that babies have dummies as they help prevent SIDS, if my two were born now they'd be having dummies.

NoSauce · 23/09/2019 10:23

I have no problem with dummies used for helping to get to sleep with young babies but I always took them off mine when they were up and about. I also don’t like to see parents pick them up off the floor and put them in their mouths!

coffeeandgin26 · 23/09/2019 11:41

Good grief no you are not overreacting, and it's nothing to do with being first time mum. I've just had my 4th and I hate her being touched unless I know the person.

LovelyIssues · 23/09/2019 14:32

Is it your first baby by any chance Wink

shoesarefab · 23/09/2019 14:43

@FairyDust92 exactly a year ago to the day my 6day old baby contracted Ecoli. Most likely from somebody touching him who hadn’t washed their hands. He had 2 lumbar punctures, was hospitalised for 3 days and had a canula in his hand for a week and a course of iv antibiotics.

So no, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable

Nettie1964 · 23/09/2019 20:19

You are weird. Smilesorry but just sad you can't even enjoy someone enjoying a baby?
Maybe calm down and get some balance. Protective good over reacting vv sad

blissa1 · 23/09/2019 20:28

No your not being unreasonable
U don't ever have to explain yourself

BishopofBathandWells · 23/09/2019 20:41

@Nettie1964 Don't you think that's a bit rude? You can "enjoy" a baby without putting your hands all over them. And calling the OP weird simply because you disagree with their stance? Maybe read the post from the PP who's baby had to have lumbar punctures because they contracted e-coli from someone who hadn't washed their hands. Hmm

Aaarrgghhh · 23/09/2019 21:31

Nettie1964 Don’t be getting upset then if a man wants to enjoy you by touching you. Surely it would only make others sad that you don’t enjoy his enjoyment. And if you do say no (like the op did) remember that it’s wrong to stop others enjoyment when they carry on.

violetswordfish · 23/09/2019 21:35

Dummies don't prevent sids. All the evidence shows is that if you give a dummy, taking it away can increase sids, so it's best to keep on giving one once it's been introduced. That is not the same thing as dummies reducing the risk of sids.

Tistheseason17 · 23/09/2019 22:50

YANBU.
DD then aged 7 weeks had her visit to workplace with everyone cooing and cuddling. That evening admitted to hospital and treated for sepsis. Docs said likely linked to meeting all these new people and their non family germs!
It does happen.

TrainspottingWelsh · 23/09/2019 23:09

All this infection stuff sounds rather coincidental to me. Barring prem babies, I'll health or any other reason to avoid mixing, of the numerous dc raised on farms I've ever known, or generally around other dc and pets from the start, it can't be coincidence that they all managed to avoid serious illness. Or in many cases any. One could be forgiven for thinking ott cleanliness and lowered immunity were linked in some cases.

A reasonable proportion of mn would spontaneously combust if they saw most of dd's baby photos.

Zebraaa · 23/09/2019 23:12

Some of the bullshit people make up on here. Sigh.

I sucked my thumb till I was a teenager and guess what... it’s a normal sized thumb.

DeadyBear · 23/09/2019 23:17

I told two women not to touch my baby. She was just over a week old and in her travel system in a shop. One was coughing and spluttering and then went to touch DD2. They got very offended but I don’t care. Regardless of the whole germ thing though, I still don’t like it. Personal space for all!

Newbiemumsy66 · 24/09/2019 00:05

I think if you are prepared to take your baby out at 10 weeks then germs etc should be the issue here as one little touch of the cheek isn’t going to do anything. I guess it depends on your reasons why you don’t want people to touch your baby. I would never touch a strangers baby but then I’m not very touchy geeky. I think the waiter should have listened to you first time though and respected your wishes.

Glassishalffull · 24/09/2019 00:10

Hello, has anyone here used Bubble babysitting app or Sitters.co.uk? Or other similar online companies? How reliable and safe are they? I am a single mom to a 5 year old and I struggle with childcare as we don't have family nearby. Is it worth using these companies as, I understand there are some other expenses involved eg. Booking fee? Would love to hear some thoughts and opinions, Thanks Smile

FedUp1850 · 24/09/2019 00:14

The only time I've been peeved was when people I hardly new kissed my baby! One of them was an absolute stranger and the other was someone I've met a few times over the years. Both did it the same day and it was one day that I let people hold her (never did as very funny about smokers etc). No idea why I let either of them hold her, I was just in a really good mood and a bit excitable. Saw them kiss her and I had to take her back. The rest doesn't bother me. You don't kiss my baby.

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