To have to tell someone

[FairyDust92]

Not to reach in and touch my child! Happened yesterday and my son is 10 weeks we were out for lunch and the waiter bent down and stroked his face! I said 'please do not touch my child' she then continued to touch his legs so I said again 'don't touch my child'. She actually took offence to this but I don't think I should have to tell people not to touch him. I don't know who she is or where she has been and to touch his bloody face! Wtf. Maybe I am over reacting but I cannot stand people touching him that I don't know. What comes over them to think they can stroke someone else's baby... it's bloody weird! 🤬

Fairy dust, I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I have been shocked at how often people practically climb into the pushchair to touch my son. My mum warned me this would happen but I didn't quite believe the extent.
People touch him, kiss him, and squeeze his cheeks. A lady once asked if I would get him out of the chair so she could have a cuddle!!
I simply don't get it. Why would you touch a complete strangers child.
I'm a tactile person and love a hug from a friend but I don't go around hugging strangers.
Im yet to have the courage to say anything but I'm now inspired. I'll be polite.
Other posters who don't like OPs reaction it's easily avoided.....just don't touch strangers children. Wave, say hi, comment all you want....just don't touch!

an older woman in the supermarket approached my pram and sort of balled up her fist and drove it towards DD's face

I saw this a few pages back, and have been scrolling through to find the explanation. Was the older woman trying to punch the baby before heroic mother “found her voice” and interrupted????

People should listen to you but she was just being friendly and you could have said why you have a problem about people touching your baby as they are only young.

Wow. Quite a response. I think it’s perfectly reasonable not to want strangers to touch your baby, but I’d try to be as gentle as possible/appropriate when telling people to back off as I’m sure their intentions are good.

You rude, rude person.

I am always stunned at the people that think this is ok. I wouldn't walk up to a random adult and touch their face, why should I do it to a baby?

I have two children, my youngest however was in intensive care whilst a baby. I would quite happily tell anyone not to touch my baby, and couldn't care less if this was perceived as rude. Far rather I am seen as rude than my baby picked up an infection with her weakened immunity.

I literally just created an account for the first time to comment on this thread.

I totally get you OP, while out for lunch with my 1 year old, his dummy dropped on the floor, an older man with a pint in hand walked by as it happened, the older man picked the dummy off the floor, put it in his mouth, sucked it and handed it back..

I was disgusted, other half was sent straight to the chemist across the street to buy a new dummy. I get people have different views on things, but no, just no..

If someone, anyone, stranger or not does something you are unhappy about to YOUR child you have every right to say no.

I cringed a bit when people kissed my first DD as a new born but I wouldn’t have been so rude as to do what you did. YABU

Your weird.

Everyone loves touching babies and kids and it's how our kids learn social and emotional skills

That’s right @Aaarrgghhh
I think this applies for the majority on here

Ok,so if spontaneous baby touching,hugging,stroking is acceptable in a restaurant and one is “mad”to not like it,

In a restaurant is it ok to touch,hug,stroke
A 3 yo
A 7yo
A 15yo
A teenager
A 20 something adult
An Older adult

Location?so restaurant it is okay to be touched stroked,touched in
Park
Coffee shop
Sport centre

It’s never okay to touch without permission, this really shouldn’t need explained. If the parent makes it clear twice as op did don’t continue to touch.

Village raising a child is of of the most asinine comments going with zero actual meaning
I don’t want,or need a disneyfication notion of community or village or grabby strangers
What I do want and need is appropriate interaction,mutual respect, active listening.

@Mummyto1crazy1 can’t you see the difference between a friendly touch of a baby versus handing it a dummy flecked with your own spittle to suck?! That’s like comparing shaking hands to punching someone in the face!

OP, people are being a bit bonkers. Of course you should touch a strangers baby without permission, and especially when told to stop to keep going if you were an adult would be deemed assault. Even with friends I would say can I have a cuddle, rather than just grabbing them.

Artesia

an older woman in the supermarket approached my pram and sort of balled up her fist and drove it towards DD's face

I saw this a few pages back, and have been scrolling through to find the explanation. Was the older woman trying to punch the baby before heroic mother “found her voice” and interrupted????

Actually I wondered about that too. What a strange thing to write.

handing it a dummy flecked with your own spittle to suck?!

Ugh indeed. Having a dummy in the first place is dreadful, though.

I love babies, when I see them I say hello from three feet away, so they don't get any nasty ole germs from me. They are not dogs to be patted.

YANBU op. Unless we are talking an emergency situation /accident etc, it is NEVER ok to touch someone without their (or their parents) permission - at any age.
Why others are condoning it, I have no idea and it is very sad that people think that this is OK because 'it is only a baby'.
Reminds me of the poor children who are told to 'give granny/ uncle/insert any name here a kiss goodbye', when it should be totally their choice how they say goodbye. Particularly girls, should not ever be told how they should use their body.
Unless we come together on this, things will never change.

I think people need to brush up on “no means no.” A lot of people on this thread don’t seem to understand what consent is. Take away the first touching of the baby, I get it, some people like to touch babies, I personally always ask first but some people obviously don’t anyway, take away the first touch, the babies mother asked the person not to, yet the person ignored the baby’s mother and touched the baby again.. so the baby’s mother repeated telling the woman not to touch the baby, and the woman did so again.. who the fuck can say that is okay? Why was consent not asked for first and why when told to stop repeatedly carried on. Would we accept this in any other form? Would you allow a stranger to force feed your child for example? No means no, it’s so simple and yet some people fail to grasp it.

Having a dummy in the first place is dreadful, though.

No it isn't

I agree with you Op people are entitled assholes. They have no right to put their probably unwashed hands on YOUR child. At the very least, if they are overcome with the urge to touch somebody else's child (which is still weird) ask the parent if they mind. YADNBU.

Actually, when I see mothers sucking “clean” - as they must see it - a dummy that has fallen, I judge. I think the situation in the OP pales into insignificance when compared.

Having a dummy in the first place is dreadful, though

Dummies are recommended by the Lullaby Trust to help prevent SIDS.

Can people fuck off with their judgments views on dummies? For a start they help prevent sudden infant death and for babies that are sickly or premature and can’t feed orally, a dummy can keep their suck going so hopefully when stronger they can take a breast or bottle. My daughter still has a dummy and she is four, it comforts her and helps her to sleep. Unfortunately it didn’t help her to keep her suck and so she is still tube fed but can eat puréed food orally and I thank the use of a dummy for that.

Fuck all wrong with dummies. It is perfectly normal to use them without going to the extreme of having one rammed in your dc’s mouth 24/7 up until the age of 5.