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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is hardly ‘downing a bottle’

744 replies

Musicalstatues · 19/09/2019 09:21

Dh and I went out for a meal last night for our wedding anniversary. We had a lovely evening. I typically have 2 glasses of wine when we go out but ordered a 3rd last night as it was very nice and I just fancied another one. So 3 glasses over the course of a meal. Yes they were large so about the equivalent of a bottle but AIBU to be a irritated at dh asking me how my head is this morning as I ‘downed a bottle of wine last night’? For context we had a stupid mini row at the end of the meal which was a shame but we both overreacted over something fairly minor. He seems to be implying that it was my fault because of how much I drank.

The background is that dh doesn’t really drink, maybe only at the odd special occasion or on holiday. He used to but stopped a few years ago. I would say that I’m a fairly typical drinker, I pretty much never drink sun-thur (last night obviously being a special occasion) I may have a glass or 2 at home on a Friday night but often don’t. We usually go out for a meal on Saturdays and I usually have a couple of glasses then, and maybe another one at home. I am very rarely properly drunk. The last time I had an awful stay in bed hangover was over a year ago. I think my drinking is pretty average? And yet dh feels the need to comment on it all the time and act like I’m some kind of alcoholic just because I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. I am getting really tired of it to be honest.

So, aibu to think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is not excessive and hardly the same as ‘downing a bottle?’

OP posts:
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Original poster
Musicalstatues · 19/09/2019 18:51

bluntness I’ve said from the start it was a bottle of wine. It was too much for one meal, I had no plans to drink that much otherwise I would have ordered a bottle at the start. I just fancied another glass after I had the second. I don’t like the fact that dh’s wording made me sound like a teenager with 10 bottles of wkd and I mostly don’t like the fact that I can’t even have one glass without him giving me a ‘look’.

This has been a very interesting thread, thanks to everyone who’s replied. I am quite happy that I’m a fairly average drinker who enjoys a couple of glasses of wine once or twice a week and had a bit too much last night.

On reflection I think the argument was more my fault and exacerbated by the fact I was a bit drunk. So I will apologise to dh for that.
I also take on board the fact that tipsy or drunk me may be annoying to dh (when obviously I think I’m hilarious and witty Smile) and try to be more mindful of this.

OP posts:
BlingLoving · 19/09/2019 18:52

perhaps you could go to GP with your husband for a check-up, discuss his concerns and ask for liver-function etc blood test

This is hilarious. Never mind anything else, why must her DH go with her to any kind of doctor's appointment of this sort? Obviously to make sure she's being honest to the dr because obviously as such a heavy drinker she's incapable of anything.

The ridiculousness on this thread, and all threads re alcohol, is astonishing. Even if it is also very entertaining.

Whatsername7 · 19/09/2019 18:52

Fwiw op, dh abd I share a bottle of wine on a friday and saturday most weeks. We both aim not to drink in the week, but sometimes we will have the odd 'Wednesday' glass. 4 glasses of wine across the week is moderate. And one more drink than you have had this week. Don't over think it.

HauntedPinecone · 19/09/2019 18:55

perhaps you could go to GP with your husband for a check-up, discuss his concerns and ask for liver-function etc blood test

Omg stop 🤣

BackToTheOIdHouse · 19/09/2019 18:56

@alexdgr8 liver function tests? Because OP has a few glasses of wine some weekends and dared to have three on a special occasion?

Are you always this judgemental/passive aggressive?

I have three or four beers on a Friday night AND a Saturday night and sometimes I even have a g&t on a school night. Clearly I'm only one step away from the gutter and a shrivelled raisin where my liver used to be.

NoSauce · 19/09/2019 18:57

I don’t get the angst here OP. You had a bottle of wine or if you prefer 3 large glasses of wine, then had a “small argument” which “could” have been caused by the fact you were drunk. Or it may not. We weren’t there so have no real clue here.

It’s beyond the realms of possibilities for someone to have a drink and then be argumentative. But going off this thread you’d think that had never happened, which is quite hypocritical in the grand scheme of things.

Chandler913 · 19/09/2019 18:57

I can socialise without drinking a bottle of wine

NoSauce · 19/09/2019 18:57

NOT*

timshelthechoice · 19/09/2019 18:59

Musical, I'd like to thank you for this thread. It's pure comedy gold! I think the 'go to the GP' post is the clear winner here for batshit prize of 2019.

GP receptionist: Hello, how may I help?

OP: I am a Surrendered Wife. I drank 3 glasses of wine on a night out. My husband is most distressed. I'd like an appointment for us to use the GP to lecture me for this and also an expensive test that's absolutely pointless for me in my case.

GP receptionist: Of course! This an excellent use of NHS funds. I'll get right on it. There will be only one chair in the room, though, you don't need one, you can sit on the floor.

I just recently had a liver function test. There needs to be a cause for one (mine was that my GERD had become suddenly worse despite being on medication, I was excessively belching, intermittently nauseated and feeling full quickly upon eating). I have stomach ulcers. They don't just do them willy nilly because hubby doesn't like it that his wife drinks 3 glasses of wine on a night out, ffs. In drinkers what they'll normally do is examine their abdomen first (well, in non-drinkers like me, too).

woodchuck99 · 19/09/2019 19:02

No wonder GPs are overworked if people think it appropriate to waste their time discussing their husbands concern and ask for a liver function test because they have had a bottle of wine.

timshelthechoice · 19/09/2019 19:02

I can socialise without drinking a bottle of wine

Halo
barfotoliv · 19/09/2019 19:07

Before I opened this, I thought: is this wine with a bowl of pasta sitting at home? Then YABU. Or is this wine accompanying a three course meal in a restaurant? Then YANBU. So YANBU.

spanglydangly · 19/09/2019 19:13

I can socialise without drinking a bottle of wine

So can I, I can also socialise with one glass of wine or two or a bottle.

It's amazing when you can drink and regulate it, I assume that the ardent I don't need alcohol don't feel they can manage this efficiently?

Blue7 · 19/09/2019 19:15

I can socialise without drinking a bottle of wine

I didn"t mean everyone does. I often drive instead of drinking when we meet friends.

I meant surely you have seen on a night out that it is normal for some people to have more than two drinks on a night out.

It doesn"t mean they have a problem.

MitziK · 19/09/2019 19:21

When you're not drinking, people who have done around ten units in two hours are noticeably drunk/tipsy/not firing on all cylinders mentally/wibbling their head off/getting louder/more likely to take offence or become belligerent.

Sometimes I drink, sometimes I don't. I know the difference in myself, never mind others. And I know 2-4 units in an evening (usually 2 gins or pints, plus soft drinks) is completely different physically and biochemically to ten.

Considering you got into a disagreement after drinking almost all of the recommended maximum in a week - the equivalent of ten G&Ts, several pints of beer or the best part of a half bottle of vodka, never mind that a week is seven days, not two hours, it's notable that you're boiling your bosom up and pursing your lips because a non drinker pointed out in a joking manner that you were binge drinking. When you were.

Inebriati · 19/09/2019 19:26

The ridiculousness on this thread, and all threads re alcohol, is astonishing.
Alcohol bingo card;
Thats binge drinking that is.
I prefer to stay in control thank you very much.
Drink chamomile tea, its just as relaxing.

HauntedPinecone · 19/09/2019 19:33

Large chamomile tea please, Tony.

Nah, i'll leave that one. No fun stories begin with a chamomile tea.

timshelthechoice · 19/09/2019 19:35

I prefer heroin with a street blues chaser, me Hmm. It's very relaxing and much cheaper than a meal out with a bottle of wine Wink.

timshelthechoice · 19/09/2019 19:37

'I'd like the chateaubriand, please, with the new potatoes and green beans. And a pot of chamomile tea, please.' Said no one ever.

hiphopchick · 19/09/2019 19:40

@Chandler913

I can socialise without drinking a bottle of wine.

There ya go............ Wink

To think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is hardly ‘downing a bottle’
Oblomov19 · 19/09/2019 19:43

Blimey. What a thread! I can drink a bottle of wine. Hmm

timshelthechoice · 19/09/2019 19:44

Oblo, what are you doing here? You need to go to A&E for a liver function test now Grin!

spanglydangly · 19/09/2019 19:47

@hiphopchick that's fucking genius! GrinGrin

Chandler913 · 19/09/2019 19:49

I don't agree. I don't need alcohol but if I do decide to have a drink I know my limits.. I stop when I'm tipsy and I don't get a hangover.. So yes I can regulate my drinking.. But I can also socialise without the need for alcohol

Chandler913 · 19/09/2019 19:50

I couldn't agree more