To think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is hardly ‘downing a bottle’

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Dh and I went out for a meal last night for our wedding anniversary. We had a lovely evening. I typically have 2 glasses of wine when we go out but ordered a 3rd last night as it was very nice and I just fancied another one. So 3 glasses over the course of a meal. Yes they were large so about the equivalent of a bottle but AIBU to be a irritated at dh asking me how my head is this morning as I ‘downed a bottle of wine last night’? For context we had a stupid mini row at the end of the meal which was a shame but we both overreacted over something fairly minor. He seems to be implying that it was my fault because of how much I drank.

The background is that dh doesn’t really drink, maybe only at the odd special occasion or on holiday. He used to but stopped a few years ago. I would say that I’m a fairly typical drinker, I pretty much never drink sun-thur (last night obviously being a special occasion) I may have a glass or 2 at home on a Friday night but often don’t. We usually go out for a meal on Saturdays and I usually have a couple of glasses then, and maybe another one at home. I am very rarely properly drunk. The last time I had an awful stay in bed hangover was over a year ago. I think my drinking is pretty average? And yet dh feels the need to comment on it all the time and act like I’m some kind of alcoholic just because I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine. I am getting really tired of it to be honest.

So, aibu to think that 3 glasses of wine with a meal is not excessive and hardly the same as ‘downing a bottle?’

The OP has said she drank 3 large glasses which equates to a bottle.

And calling people uptight and judgemental is pathetic, for what? Pointing out the truth?

@NoSauce it's really not the truth! It's opinion only!

Stop being so sanctimonious.

Of course it’s the truth. It doesn’t make it wrong but it doesn’t take away from the fact it was a lot to drink in a few hours.

Maybe she's a 6ft tall, 18st rugby player who can drink 3 glasses and only be tipsy. Maybe he's a jockey who can only drink one pint and get a hangover. It's not 'the truth' that someone who drinks 3 glasses of wine over a long dinner is a raging alcoholic who's stumbling drunk after that amount.

@NoSauce I'm context it's not!

*in

@BillieEilish, I did, now I just feel overlooked .

The most notable imo, is the reactions on this thread to someone drinking less than themselves. You would think someone were try to snatch their baby.

NoSauce

We all need to let go /have some form of release don't we?

Mine also = drinking (NOT "downing" which suggests downing shots of something vile just to get trollied while scrunching your face up with disgust) a bottle of wine most Fridays. I enjoy choosing and trying new wines. Enjoy knowing its already chilling in the fridge ready to enjoy with a meal over a film with DH on Friday evening after another chaotic week juggling kids/job.
I savour my bottle over maybe 3 hours. I love every sip. I am incredibly content and chilled as I do so. Perhaps may I "pathetically" suggest- more chilled and content enjoying my wine, than you are standing on the safe sidelines judging others you deem excessive and getting so upset about it!
We really are not. I am healthy and fit. With good skin and shiny hair.

We all have our vices (I hope you do!) and sometimes do things that might- shock horror- go slightly above the rigid guidelines/rules/exact measurement of what is considered "normal" or "safe". If you don't, I feel for you.

It's not 'the truth' that someone who drinks 3 glasses of wine over a long dinner is a raging alcoholic who's stumbling drunk after that amount

I haven’t said that though have I? Just that one bottle of wine (10 units) is a lot to drink in the space of a few hours, which it is.

Trying

Meh dh and I had a bottle of wine wash when a meal last week and went for cocktails after (special occasion).

However - what you’re actually pissed off about, is the fact that - despite as you’ve said, it was a silly non argument - by saying oh you were drunk - your dh is actually basically saying he was right (e.g of you were drunk and irrational). And that would piss me right off too.

But it's not just 'a special occasion' it's their wedding anniversary. Drunk people are very annoying when you're sober. Of course she can drink but getting drunk when out for a romantic meal with your sober partner feels odd.

Depends how he asked. Was he gentle and just checking you don't have a hangover or migraine? Or sarcastic?
It is nearly a bottle but that's not what you asked. 3 glasses with a meal is ok. I used to have that over a course of a day every day without any food and my liver hasn't fallen out through my crack yet. (that was when I smoked but I stopped and booze causes migraines now so I have become almost a holy teetotaller).
What's not ok is to have a "minor row" on your special meal out. Surely you could have done better eh?

I'm teetotal and find drunk people amusing (when they're not 'aggy' like one poster ) myself. Except the ones who walk by and reek of it. I like perfumes and lovely smells and that's not one of them. See, it's a matter of opinion (some people don't like perfume, in fact, that's a MN thread in itself. It's wrong to wear perfume, or vape, or have a BBQ in your garden in Summer without asking all the neighbours first (but don't knock on their doors if you're not expected)).

I wouldn't drink that much but I know plenty who do

It's probably because you change slightly after you've had a couple of glasses - which is why I hate having more than a couple with non drinkers. If you are all getting sloshed together it doesn't matter. With non drinkers I'm too conscious that I may be talking gibberish to really enjoy myself.

Ignore him and enjoy your occasional extra glasses.

OP you fancied a few drinks and I don't see the big deal. Some people like to make comments about people's drinking so they feel happier for whatever reason. A lot of the people commenting will have their own issues...eating too much etc. Don't let your DH bother you...he won't be thinking two things about his comment so don't you stew over it.

I hardly drink anymore. But when I do go out for a few for a meal with family or friends, I've easily had the equivalent of a bottle. Everyone's different and just because you go out and only have one, or none, doesn't mean anyone that has more is a raving alcoholic for gods sake.

Sounds like your DH is insinuating that you were the irrational one in the minor argument because you "Downed a bottle".

That phrase makes you sound like you had a drink binge, when actually all you did was have a few glasses with a meal.

I'd be pissed off too!

Christ on a bike! The judgement over someone drinking a bottle of wine on a Wednesday and comments like ‘surely you could have done better?’ over a strangers minor falling out with her partner are just ridiculous.

Everyone other than me is clearly perfect but I’m in no place to judge- being someone who occasionally falls out with my husband and will occasionally drink three alcoholic drinks on a week night.

I could easily drink a bottle of wine to myself over the course of a couple of hours, and although I'd be tipsy I wouldn't have a hangover the next day.

Why are people insisting she had a bottle of wine? Sure, it could have been three 250ml glasses, but it could have been three 125 ml ones or three 175 ml glasses.

For some anniversary meals DH I have had tasting menus that came with at least 5 glasses of different wines and like, 7 or 8 courses of food. We've been merry but not anti-socially drunk, and full but not overfull.

Why are people insisting she had a bottle of wine? Sure, it could have been three 250ml glasses, but it could have been three 125 ml ones or three 175 ml glasses

Fucks sake the OP herself said she had 3 large glasses of wine which equates to one bottle.

YANBU. It does seem that he is like a reformed smoker who is now extra sensitive to people drinking around him.

You do need to sit down and tell him that his comments make you feel as if he is judging you, which is not healthy for your relationship (somewhat ironic given that the occasion last night was your wedding anniversary ). The amount that you drink in a normal week is well within the "accepted" guidelines, so he should take off his judgy pants. Nor are you drinking a small amount every night, which can be just as bad for your liver, even if it is the same amount averaged out over the week. You're demonstrating a healthy approach to alcohol by only drinking occasionally.

FWIW: I'm 58 and dh and I only drink 2 bottles a week at home and an extra 2 glasses + a whisky (him) and 1 glass (me, as I'm driving) at my dad's. Occasionally, if we are entertaining, we will have an extra bottle. We drink out rarely (dh objects to the mark-up on wine at restaurants). Dh has the occasional large malt whisky.

This is despite us running a wee hobby wine business and us both loving to cook and match good food with fine wine.

I did have the mother of all hangovers last October when we went to a special wine tasting and meal with matched wines, described by the wine maker, where we stayed over (made sure to have a looooong hearty breakfast and leave very late to drive back home ). It had been many many years since I'd had a hangover like that - we all make mistakes

Tell your dh to GTF with his comments and drink what you like OP, I think he is being deliberately provocative and disapproving

if this is a permanent pattern in your marriage then something needs addressing.

and I, for one, don't think it's your drinking.

Fucks sake the OP herself said she had 3 large glasses of wine which equates to one bottle

In some places the large glass is 175ml and they have stopped doing 250ml and charge the same as they used to do for the 250ml glasses