AIBU for starting to feel like I may want to return to work....

[FeelingMoreHuman]

Dd is 7 months old and I always thought I'd be a sahm until yet-to-be-conceived-dc2 is a couple of years old. However, now that motherhood is here I'm starting to change my mind. I love my dd dearly but do feel that not only does she need more stimulation/interaction etc but so do I. Does this make me a bad mother? All the women in my family (and extended family) have stayed at home with their children until they were at least 5 years old and many are openly against mothers "adandoning" their dc's so young . How can I can convince them that I'm not being selfish? Come to think of it...am I being selfish?

That's the key Scottishmummy. In my experience, if you have the skills that employees want and they know that you will always deliver what they want, then they will support you. It does help that my employers are enlightened though.

I work with a woman who stayed at home for 15 years to raise her two children. In the 15 years she has been here, she has risen to become a senior project manager and is highly valued.

She loved being at home with her children and has no regrets because she has a fulfilling career in the second phase of her adult life.

That's so good to hear speedymama. I'm a mainly SAHM but I'm working a few hours a week & studying as I plan to go back to a whole new career when my children are older -even though I'll be in my 40's! I see it as the next phase of my adult life too. And I love being a SAHM!

Re the p/t debate, I went back at 3 days a week initially when DS was 6 months, now 4 days a week but slightly longer hours so I'm working 85% of f/t hours. 3 days was better for me, really liked having 2 week days off, but 4 (longer) days better in terms of work and my colleagues. See what options you have and what you would feel happy with. If you want to ease ourself into things, you can use the holiday you've built up over your maternity leave to take a day off a week for the first few months.

I enjoy being back at work, yes things are hectic and some things don't get done but it works for us.

Can understand the odd power dynamic if you're p/t and your partner works f/t, but both of us work p/t and use childcare a couple of days a week. Works for us .

Xenia, sorry to hear that your Dad was unwell, but very pleased to hear that he is better now and pulled through.

As for your other point...I am sure that even SAHM's can raise boys that value women....there really isn't many longterm sahm really anyway....most women tend to consider returning to work once the children are schoolage, so, in the phase where a child won't really know the meaning of sah via working out, the mum is there, and once they get older they see their mums in employment....everyone happy

Hi FeelingMoreHuman

I have been back at work now for 6 weeks and am using my holiday accrued from last year to use as 1 day off a week (dd will be 8 months on Friday). I wish I could do three days a week but feel my employers have been good (mind you I have been working on a project from home since dd was 3 months.

I have to say I was definitely ready to go back to work but still feel guilty about leaving dd at nursery, despite the fact she has never shown any separation anxiety. Of course am now reading a book which makes me feel v. guilty fo rnot being a SAHM, but since I earn double what my husband does we simply cannot aford it. I am also v. lucky in that my hubby is great with DD and does all the cooking!