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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dad left little girl in resturant

242 replies

orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:22

recently eating out in pub/resturant, table next to me a guy with son about 2 and little girl in high chair about 10 months roughly. boy declared he neede loo and started to pull down pants so dad dashed him to loo and left girl. BTW loo on opposite side of pub and around two corners the dad was gone at least 5 mins the whole time the little girl was screaming obviously thought she had been left. I do understand difficult situation, I also have small age gap with my kids and had many similar situations where wished either someone else was there or I could just deal with the one child at time but not been possible so just dashed the 2 out. Anyway me and my dp were horrifed this guy left the girl. What do u think?

OP posts:
edam · 10/08/2007 16:25

Bad decision but can understand why he did it, presumably needed to act fast, was harassed etc. etc.

SpawnHorcrux · 10/08/2007 16:25

Poor guy. I'd have probably done the same as him tbh. Might have asked a member of staff or a 'family' group on a nearby table to keep an eye on the DD.

fedupwasherwoman · 10/08/2007 16:26

men and planning the possible happenings on a trip out with kids eh.

he hadn't thought about what would happen when his ds needed the loo and he panicked.

I'd have taken them both to the loo and it would have been hell but it would have put my mind at rest about them both.

whiskeyandbeer · 10/08/2007 16:26

wrong decision but i doubt it was one he'd been happy with.as people have said he acted fast and wrongly but i doubt he'd argue with you on that one.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 10/08/2007 16:26

He is a dad still getting an idea about how to cope with 2 young children, Actually, I'm more horrified at the idea of the child being left to scream by any other people present at the restaurant, did anybody attempted to calm her down?

Bet the poor guy run to the toilet to find his DS needed more time at it than he anticipated.

belgo · 10/08/2007 16:26

this reminds me of a father I saw yesterday at the bus stop. The bus shelter is next to a cycle path and main road. The dad left his dd (about two years old) in the shelter while he went and read a poster a few metres away. he had his back turned to her for several minutes. The little girl decides to run to her father, crossing the cycle path in the process. A cyclist just missed her, nearly falling off her bike in the process. I felt so sorry for the cyclist who was very shaken up, and so angry at the father.

pointydog · 10/08/2007 16:27

I think, no big deal.

Sound slike the guy was in a flurry of panic.

wheresthehamster · 10/08/2007 16:30

I hope everyone didn't just sit there tut-tutting and at least try and calm the little girl down. Especially if people saw what had happened.

Poor bloke. I bet there's not a lot of dads who would even DREAM of taking 2 children of that age out. Hope he doesn't get a rollicking from his wife.

Original poster
orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:30

I really wanted to comfort girl but dp said dad might get wrong idea when he got back so my kids talked to her and we kept an eye on her

OP posts:
MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 10/08/2007 16:30

potty training.

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 10/08/2007 16:31

Belgo, that happens when dads are not very involved in caring for their children. I know a person who thinks that spending half an hour in the morning with the children is more than enough to be a good parent. His idea of taking care of the children is leaving baby crying on a blanket in another room so he can concentrate on what he is doing at his computer!

pointydog · 10/08/2007 16:33

let's not berate men as child carers

GoingThroughChanges · 10/08/2007 16:33

Oh fgs. You probably sat there making "Stupid man" faces at anyone who looked at you, didn't you?

Poor fella.

GoingThroughChanges · 10/08/2007 16:34

IWIRIM for some people, half an hour quality time with their children is all they can hope for in a day, especially for some men who are holding down jobs so they can keep a roof over their children's heads.

LucyJones · 10/08/2007 16:34

let's not get too judgemental shall we?

LucyJones · 10/08/2007 16:35

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo - what a stupid post

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 10/08/2007 16:36

Oh no, I'm not saying all of them are a problem, far from it but that dealing effectively with children and their needs an art attained through hours and hours of practice!

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 10/08/2007 16:39

It's an art...

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 10/08/2007 16:39

i would have thought 'poor bloke' sometimes i leave ds where he is (usually asking another mother nearby to keep and eye on him, but not always) to take dd to the toilet or something equally as immidiate (if dd is running off etc.)

i can understand why you were a bit miffed but my dh doesnt dare take them both out as he can't multitask at all so he knows only to take one at a time!

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 10/08/2007 16:42

And before getting agressive LucyJones, read the thread properly, you will see I was defending the father!

fiddlemama · 10/08/2007 16:43

Am I the only one who has made some terrible decisions on the spur of the moment whilst bringin up my kids? And regretted them later . I feel sorry for him!

Original poster
orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:44

I did feel sorry for guy and do have respect for anyone taking two young kids out for meal, not an easy task. But at same time it really, dont know the right word, I suppose disturded me

OP posts:
pointydog · 10/08/2007 16:46

admit it is upsetting to hear a child cry and see it distressed so maybe you just instinctively felt something unpleasant was happening.

But no one was trying to upset the baby.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 10/08/2007 16:49

poor guy. It's hard work looking after 2 littlies. Yes he should have taken the baby with him but it takes ages to unstrap a baby from a pub highchair and he probably didnt think it would take so long.

At least she was secure in a highchair and not left wandering....

fiddlemama · 10/08/2007 16:49

If I'd been in that situation with my DS and DD2 (roughly same age gap) at their ages, by the time I'd got DD out of high chair DS would have peed all over the floor! I stayed at home during potty training!!