dad left little girl in resturant

[orangehead]

recently eating out in pub/resturant, table next to me a guy with son about 2 and little girl in high chair about 10 months roughly. boy declared he neede loo and started to pull down pants so dad dashed him to loo and left girl. BTW loo on opposite side of pub and around two corners the dad was gone at least 5 mins the whole time the little girl was screaming obviously thought she had been left. I do understand difficult situation, I also have small age gap with my kids and had many similar situations where wished either someone else was there or I could just deal with the one child at time but not been possible so just dashed the 2 out. Anyway me and my dp were horrifed this guy left the girl. What do u think?

Greensleeves, have just seen your message suggesting I should never eat out with my three children without another adult present. I'm afraid I believe in living life to the full with my kids, enjoying an active time, full of fun and adventure. The chanches of something going seriously wrong in the circumstances described are absolutely miniscule and certainly worth the risk when set against the tremendous fun we have on our outings.

As I have no extended family and my DH works an 80 hour week, I would have to rule out everything from swimming lessons to trips to the park and museums if I seriously thought I shouldn't go anywhere without keeping all three with me at all times.

Do you know, this is how sad I am... I have been thinking about this thread since I last posted!!

I have come to these conclusions

1. The father has split with the wife, this was a pre-arranged visitation access, he took the kids out for dinner but had become distracted with the news his ex was remarrying and had forgotten to ask for the zillionth time in five minutes whether the older child needed the loo, so was caught on the hop

2. The mother has died, the father, in trying to install some normality, has taken the kids out for dinner like they used to go as a family. However, still upset, he forgot to ask for the zillionth time in five minutes whether the older child needed the loo, so was caught on the hop

3. He is human. He forgot to ask for the zillionth time in five minutes whether the older child needed the loo, so was caught on the hop

Cant you tell I have been trying to potty train DD this weekend

Elf - your mind is working overtime maybe they were just hungry fancied a wee bite to eat...i still dont think he did anything wrong

Neither do I SM It personally wouldn't be my choice to do so but I can see why. Plus, as I said in an earlier post, it's a snapshot of a families life, the mother may well do the same thing herself and the dad knew it was not a problem.

4. fancied something to eat and forgot to ask for the zilliont time if the older child needed the loo...

(this all springs from the fact that I spent Sunday clearing up puddles of wee despite asking DD if she needed the loo about a million times a second!)

Elf - keep em coming i love the variables..story relates just human everyday life with kids

come in late to this, so my advice, stick nappy on potty training kid, for the hour that you will be out - no loo dashing dramas!

I have twins, and have had many an occasion of one pair of hands, 2 children and a room full of tutters wondering why i bothered coming out if i couldn't cope. Have gone home in tears on more than one occasion when not one of the tutting fookers offered to help.

At least this dad was trying, and like someone else said, at least he was taking them out. We are midst potty training with our two and i have not dared venture out in just pants yet, so good on him...mine are nearly 3

I feel sorry for the poor chap. We can all be caught on the hop. Perhaps he should have asked orangehead, the Op'er, to keep an eye on her.

YES - at least he was out and about with the kids, and asau say a bit less tutting and bellyaching about the situation would have ben nice..and frankly if that bothered onlookers could have comforted the wee girl..or showed a wee bitty empathy as a parent recalling what its like to be in a difficult situation

I dread the day I log on here and see my own parenting skills being discussed...

"I saw this woman in Nottingham with her daughter, she was getting out of the car on the main road and hadn't parked on the side of the pavement, how dangerous?! She pulled her daughter from the car, showing hair that looked like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards, then she hit her daughters head on the door of the car, dropped everything into the middle of the road and cursed, she should have her children taken away from her"!

Elf - exactly easy to bemoan others, not so easy when it is us and our wee one's

i will probably get AIBU mention when i leave bubba strapped in pram alone to go to the WC....O bad ScottishMummy

elf? nottingham? you'll have strong competition from stories about me too then (Mansfield) - surely you have heard the one about

'mum, 31, from mansfield, seen parking in p&t space at tesco and having to walk the entire length of shop, occasionally dragging one twin, to fetch a double trolley, only to have to stop at the ride on thomas the tank engine for half an hour. £5 lighter, armed with two screaming children, found that the only double trolley was 6 trolleys deep in a row. Passing tutters reported that "she was cursing the air blue, had hold of one by his t-shirt and the other by his collar - she was even using her foot to try and get a trolley out"....social services were called shortly afterwards'

could have been worse i suppose though,could have been dad shouting i need a wee and pulling his pants down before running to the bogs and leaving both kids sitting there.....

stranger things have happened

Meeely2 - excellent
My friend at work lives in Mansfield so we're often in competition, seeing as we do not live far from St Anns!

I thought you could be a perfect mother until I became a mother, and then I realised you could only do your best, so I stopped beating myself up about it (after moaning to DH for the millionth time "I'm a crap mum, how could I not realise she wouldn't like mashed up cauliflour?".

DD2 is being potty trained at the moment . Last week we had a very unfortunate incident involving explosive poo whilst bouncing up and down on a trampoline at a kids' farm. Poor dd couldn't stop bouncing....

I'm not sure I could manage to hold a 10 month old baby and deal with a toddler in the loo. Would you let the baby crawl around on the floor of the pub loo? Just sounds to me like this dad had to act quickly ( as I failed to do with the trampoline incident - to my cost) and panicked a bit. Maybe it seemed like the least worst option at the time? Should maybe have asked a nearby family to keep an eye on the baby or taken her in her pushchair.

Last week I had to make a phone call to my boss from home. Mid phonecall the dds went ballistic , hair pulling, fighting , shrieking. I had to shut myself in the utility room to get a bit of peace whilst dds ran riot in kitchen.

"When did you get a dog?" asked boss on hearing commotion.

Couldn't bring myself to tell him that it wasn't a dog but my children so, "Not long" I replied.

Have now had to invent whole back story for dog ( breed etc) and sad story of how it will be going back as not suitable.

Am proud to be a beta mummy.

Am slightly at one or two of the 'stupid men' type comments on this thread (not OP)

We get flak for not making an effort; this guy's making an effort, doing his best and has made a minor error of judgement. Obviously he should have asked someone to mind the baby for a minute, but that's really no reason to give the whole 'what do you expect from a man' routine. You'd think we're a different species FFS!

i know this threads done and dusted but can i just add this link as i think its so disturbing and how easy it could be!!