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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dad left little girl in resturant

242 replies

orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:22

recently eating out in pub/resturant, table next to me a guy with son about 2 and little girl in high chair about 10 months roughly. boy declared he neede loo and started to pull down pants so dad dashed him to loo and left girl. BTW loo on opposite side of pub and around two corners the dad was gone at least 5 mins the whole time the little girl was screaming obviously thought she had been left. I do understand difficult situation, I also have small age gap with my kids and had many similar situations where wished either someone else was there or I could just deal with the one child at time but not been possible so just dashed the 2 out. Anyway me and my dp were horrifed this guy left the girl. What do u think?

OP posts:
LadyVictoriaOfCake · 11/08/2007 22:10

i have started letting dd1 (7.5) go to the loo on her own, but mainly in places where i can see the loo and who is going in and out. sometimes dd2 (almost 5) goes with her, and ihave to haul them out as they are just in there gossiping like a bunch of teenagers.

3andnomore · 11/08/2007 22:15

Kids are so attracted to the loo once they are allowed to go bythemselfs...or is that just my son...I am sure it's just about the little bit of independence they are getting then, lol....

fiddlemama · 11/08/2007 22:18

Yes it was a problem and that is why, despite his protestations I wouldn't let DS in there until I was sure he could cope with all eventualities on his own. Came in for some stick from him along the way I can tell you. Guess I'm just over protective. Still he's 14 now and it doesn't seem to have harmed him in any way.

In fact, now I remember it, I ran into one of my pupil's parents in Starbucks recently and she had both her boys with her (6 and 4). We chatted for a bit and I had DS and DD2 with me at the time. Before they left she told both the boys to go with her to the loo and 6 year old kicked up a fuss about going to the ladies and DS jumped up quickly and said "don't worry, I'll take him to the mens". Didn't really give it much thought at the time but now seems quite a sweet thing for a 14 year old to do spontaneously. He hardly knows them, they come when he is at school. Maybe he was remembering his own trials and had a sudden flash of sympathy!

3andnomore · 11/08/2007 22:23

aww, you kids sound lovely fiddle....almost typed fiddly then,. lol

fiddlemama · 11/08/2007 22:34

3andnomore: That's ok though I think tiddly at the moment might be nearer the mark

3andnomore · 11/08/2007 22:37

ll, that is you and me, lol..............

fiddlemama · 11/08/2007 23:13

ScottishMummy: DH home (Either he's early or I'm late.) Remembered name of hotel, it was the Aldrovandi Palace. Have just looked it up on booking.com and it seems to have undergone some major changes over the last 12 years. Some not very good comments from recent guests and in the photos the rooms look small and much more cramped than I remember them. It had a major refurb. apparently in 2004 and they say it has 121 rooms. I know it didn't have that many back then. Maybe they've split some of the larger suites up? Also is now privately managed but part of a chain and I'm sure it was privately owned when we stayed there. Still an arm and a leg to stay there though.
Feel very sad now. How dare they sell and refurbish one of my most cherished memories.

ScottishMummy · 11/08/2007 23:29

awww but i love the story esp the little lady quip....shame when things change your cherished good for a story memories

fiddlemama · 11/08/2007 23:45

I suppose 12 years is a long time.

ScottishMummy · 11/08/2007 23:50

lol - time passes quickly haha

themildmanneredjanitor · 12/08/2007 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 12/08/2007 10:56

LOL - what if said boys had followed instructions shouted through door...hehehe

themildmanneredjanitor · 12/08/2007 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3andnomore · 12/08/2007 19:34

oh lol janitor...that is funny!

morningpaper · 12/08/2007 21:08

Any bloody idiot can entertain a young child in a restaurant - you don't have to bundle her into the back of your car to cheer her up

e.g. -

  1. shake packet of sugar
  2. demonstrate ketchup bottle
  3. hand over opened plastic milk carton
  4. pass knife and fork to bang

And I'm a BAD person too

JoMa · 12/08/2007 21:15

I felt the thoughts of the OP all around me today. sat down, ds1 needs toilet. have just got ds2 in highchair. toilets are 6ft away so take ds1 in to the baby change one, then hover half way between the two of them. The couple at the table next to mine were muttering and staring, I just sat there thinking, this'll be on Mumsnet later

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 12/08/2007 21:27

LOL janitor!

In my first long haul fligh on my own with then baby DS, I got plenty of offers for help. I came back loving the American friendlyness. When boarding the flight, a woman I was talking to at the waiting area took DS and whiz him into the plane while I packed all his paraphernalia, she just said "don't worry, I can't go far with him inside of a plane!" she was right. At the last leg of the trip I was so tired I fell asleep, a woman hold DS while the guy sitting next to me packed my bag, while I was just trying to figure out what was going on!

LittleBellatrixLeBoot · 12/08/2007 21:38

Most useful tips I ever got to reduce the likelihood of this situation arising in the first place:

Take potty-training child to the loo before sitting down to a meal, even if said child claims s/he doesn't need to go. Sit him or her on loo anyway and they'll usually perform.

Take the potty with you so that in a real emergency, it can be whipped out. Causes horror and consternation among other shoppers, but you never have an accident. I never actually needed to try this in a shop, but rushed out to the street to do it and then emptied it into the gutter. Never got arrested, so reasonably good result.

ScottishMummy · 13/08/2007 08:24

LOL JoMa - you had better watch the thread maybe u will get a mention in the AIBU you Won't believe it but....thread Back to OP i still think the parent did nothing wrong no big deal imo

elasticbandstand · 13/08/2007 08:53

think it was brave of him to take 2 for a meal. can't think tht i would have been doing that, on my own,

Kif · 13/08/2007 08:57

I'm going to stick up for the dad here - not that he was too harassed and incompetent to know better - but that he made a rational call.

Like most posters on this thread, it's not something I would have done personally - but i think that is because 'worrying' is part of the job description of being a mother, and sometimes it's hard to know when to stop.

Baby snatching - despite recent upsetting events - is exceedingly rare, especially opportunistically. He (correctly) noted that a pub full of people saw that his daughter was with him. Is the scenario that one of the other diners gets up from their meal, picks up child and walks out unchallenged?

It was unfortunate that the baby was upset. If she was anything like my nine month old, she was as likely to be annoyed at the delay for being fed. The father probably reasoned he'd be done quicker by leaving the girl in the chair - hence less upset all round.

I'm speaking as someone whose toddler once fell into a public lavatory while I was short handed with baby on the hip.

Kif · 13/08/2007 08:59

I once ent dh for a relaxing w'end with his family - called him on his mob to find he'd taken out three under 4s for a Frankie and Benny's meal. One of the kids had ishoos with eating at the table ime.

Respect.

ballbaby · 13/08/2007 09:04

Worst place for taking kids for this reason is McDonalds's - dh once took 2ds's and had to leave the meal half way through to take ds1 to the loo. He took the baby with him and came back to find table cleared with the rest of the meals in the bin!

elasticbandstand · 13/08/2007 09:07

wouldn't it be great if we could leave children outside shops now! [gr]
imagne, you stand there with a paket of crisps while mummy looks round woolies

handlemecarefully · 13/08/2007 10:08

Aloha:
A rogue paedophile was going to run into the restaurant on the offchance and steal a crying baby in full view of all the diners - all within five minutes? I really don't think so.

Sheesh - dont think I suggested that even for a moment!