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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dad left little girl in resturant

242 replies

orangehead · 10/08/2007 16:22

recently eating out in pub/resturant, table next to me a guy with son about 2 and little girl in high chair about 10 months roughly. boy declared he neede loo and started to pull down pants so dad dashed him to loo and left girl. BTW loo on opposite side of pub and around two corners the dad was gone at least 5 mins the whole time the little girl was screaming obviously thought she had been left. I do understand difficult situation, I also have small age gap with my kids and had many similar situations where wished either someone else was there or I could just deal with the one child at time but not been possible so just dashed the 2 out. Anyway me and my dp were horrifed this guy left the girl. What do u think?

OP posts:
Aitch · 10/08/2007 23:17

apart from 100x, clearly.

ELF1981 · 10/08/2007 23:18

then my DH should have a sex change, he's very good at multi-tasking. The only thing he cant do (that I can with ref to dd) is talk to her when she's asking a zillion questions when he is driving.

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:21

why difficult- hmmmmmm one small child about to defaecate/get upset need immediate attention as a parent u need to respond...uh two hands..one task...two kids...as i said poor parent i empathise - end of

hatwoman · 10/08/2007 23:22

blimey so a baby gets to cry for 5 minutes. and maybe the dad could have averted the situation. hardly the end of the world.

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:23

well said hatwoman

FrayedKnot · 10/08/2007 23:25

What Hatwoman said.

Plus I would have tried to distract the child and reassure her along the lines of "Daddy will be back in a minute" and passed her a toy or something if I had one.

Would you not?

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:26

Sorry Scottishmummy but I can't agree. It is so not difficult to take a toddler to a loo when carrying a baby. I have been there (dd was 21 months when ds was born). Have you?

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:26

sorry, forgot to say "end of"

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:27

OF course!as i said talk to the wee one while daddy away - no big deal

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:29

handlemecarefully -why so cantankerous?the point of discussion board is lively often diametrically opposed opinion - end of

unknownrebelbang · 10/08/2007 23:30

I have HMC. DS1 was 26 months when DS2 was born, and DS2 22 months when DS3 was born (phew too late to work out maths lol).

It's not difficult so much as awkward, and I remember on several occasions wondering WTF do I put baby, because the toddler needed some help.

I have been known to leave baby and urge another mother (not necessarily known to me) to keep an eye in a similar situation.

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:31

Cantankerous, lol, you should see me when I am truly cantankerous. This is nothing! End of with brass knobs on!

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:32

That's different unknown - presence of mind to ask another mother to look out for small child. Have done the same.

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:33

well at least you are clear where to put your brass end of then hun

ELF1981 · 10/08/2007 23:33

Good God, I used to pee before going out and cross my legs until I got home when DD was young because it was difficult for myself to pee and look after her, let alone trying to struggle with a baby and toddler!

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:34
Shock
unknownrebelbang · 10/08/2007 23:35

Gawd I haven't always got presence of mind, lol.

seriously though, I wouldn't have been too upset if this had been DH.

Yes the baby was distressed for a few minutes, but she was unlikely to come to any harm.

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:35

exactly

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:40

Well the thing is - whilst this incident in itself wasn't serious (I agree the child was distressed but wouldn't come to any harm) - i think it is possibly symtomatic of a wider malady. Namely the bloke has poor judgement.

Perhaps I am projecting my own situation too much onto this example (i.e. a dh who loves and adores his children but is essentially clueless and thus unwittingly endangering them - the falling down escalator example), or possibly it is you who is failing to see the wider issue? (i.e. I might have a point here!)

ELF1981 · 10/08/2007 23:45

I had this conversation with a friend recently, she was moaning that her husband did not look after the children like she did, couldn't calm them like she did, then she felt like she had to do it all... I pointed out that I had seen this before (and I have known myself to do it) women will barate their husbands because they make an error, because they do not do it the exact way we do it, thus men being to do less with the children or get stressed out because they do not have confidence in their ability after us trashing them.

pointydog · 10/08/2007 23:47

His judgement wasn't that poor. Babay cries for 5 mins. Why any depth of feeling in response?

handlemecarefully · 10/08/2007 23:48

Fine Elf - but sometimes some men deserve to be trashed. (Is this heresy or something???)

pointydog · 10/08/2007 23:48

yes, elf, agree that is very very common

pointydog · 10/08/2007 23:48

and what's being a man got to do with it?

Some people fumble about a bit

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2007 23:50

yes not a gender assignation just a difficult situation