Was ibu to react like this. Should i say sorry

[Anonmummyoftwo]

Honestly it was a reaction i couldnt control. Before i could stop myself it just came out. Was waiting to lift ds5 from school today and chatting with the other mums. One said about her baby going next week for her year vaccines and another mum jumped in and said your really shouldnt my ds never got any of his because her sisters friends dd caught autism from them. Before i could stop myself i let out a laugh and said oh for god sake are you serious. I said you cant catch autism first off and second that bloody crap about the vaccine causing autism has been proven to be a load of crap. She tried to argue her point but i just said look im not listening and went in got my ds and left. A few mums agreed with me but this mum has just messaged me saying shes upset at how i acted and would like me to say sorry infront of the other mums at drop off in the morning. I told her im sorry for upsetting you but i wont say sorry at the school because i think shes being a fool. This is a grown woman whos at least 30 and truthfully i did think she was a smart woman till that. Do people really still think you can "catch" autism from a vaccine

Maybe say sorry for being rude but you are 100% right! It’s really upsetting that people think like this as it could potentially be very dangerous for their children’s and others!

Oh don’t think it attached.

You are correct but you were rude.
She wants you to apologise for your rudeness not your opinion.

Bullshit. She was rude and hasn't apologised, you bloody shouldn't.

What you said was factually correct but you were very rude to say it in such a way. You could have calmly stated the same facts instead of laughing and jeering.

I have absolutely no patience, tolerance or respect for these people. I have to work with one and i cannot bring myself to have these ridiculous conversations anymore. I would've snapped at her too.

I really would have thought that this nonsense was on the wane.

I wouldn't apologise.

She's stupid and got shown up for it ,now she can either accept it and own it -so no apology needed, or change it -in which case she should be thanking you.

YANBU good for you!!!! It's important to be an upstander not a bystander to this rubbish

Thankfully not too many appeasers on here. I mean seriously why do people think anyone should be polite to extremists, appease their dangerous views... NO.

"Children needlessly dying makes me a bit shouty. Sorry about that.”

Haha that would have been spot on!

She may as well have said she believes in fairies and unicorns.

Text her back saying she should apologise, firstly for her bigotry & ignorance in thinking that autism is catching, secondly for exposing the community to contagious disease by her refusal to vaccinate.

She's a twat. Tell her you'll apologise when she finds independent peer reviewed evidence published in a recognised medical journal.

It'll never happen.

That level of wilful ignorance needs to be shut down. Why be kind to someone who chooses to ignore evidence to spread their, quite frankly, dangerous delusions?

What @messolini9 said - perfect response

Anti-vaxxer dickheads give me rage. YANBU. You've apologised for how you reacted and she's not accepted that. Time to disengage and keep your DC away from here.

Hers*

Lord only knows what else she believes. Bloody social media.

You can be bloody rude to people who put other people's lives at risk without any thought for the real consequences.

In that school there will be children who cannot be vaccinated, people in contact with the immunosuppressed and babies about who have not yet been vaccinated, will she be apologising if she gives any of them measles?

You did not act like a dick.
She did with her idiotic perpetuation of total untruths.
I would not apologise. In fact I'd make a point of not doing so.

Don’t apologise, just explain it’s people like her that’s now lost us the measle free status, along with other countries. Tell he4 you can provide lots of articles and that actually your children are currently protecting hers

"Say that you’ll apologise for the way you spoke if she will apologise for spreading lies conspiracy theories inaccurate medical information."

This with bells on!

Pretty certain she won't agree to that - and she should be first to apologise too as she ALSO rudely leapt into a conversation with an unwanted and bloody stupid opinion! - and then you won't need to!

There is a very real possibility that the perfect storm of austerity cuts, anti vaxing crap and a no deal brexit could very well lead to a major epidemic this winter!

Irresponsible idiots like her NEED to be called out.

I have 2 friends with children with autism, they have vaccinated all their children and would not countenance such nonsense! I also of course have TONS of family/friends who have also vaccinated their children and those children DON'T have autism.

I do also have a sister and a few friends who have disabilities as a result of getting childhood infections before they could be vaccinated.

Pointless arguing with her but you could perhaps send links to the mum she was "advising" showing how they DON'T cause autism and that this was disproved nearly bloody 20 years ago!

My dd is 18 and was due her vaccines around the time this was all kicking off, I was nervous as the debunking didn't happen very publicly until after she had her vaccines - but she still had them! I'd far rather have a living otherwise healthy child with autism than a child seriously disabled by encephalitis or other complications or a dead child!

If my dcs were little and knowing what I know now, I wouod be extremely careful about vaccinations and probably wouldn't do all of them or to NHS schedule.
However, I would not apologise to the mum at school. You’ve said you are sorry for upsetting her. I would have appreciated if you had recognise the way you went about it was rude. But I wouldn’t expect you to apologise again at the school gate.
After that, it’s basically a difference of opinion and I would treat it as such.

I’d probably reply ‘would you apologise to the parent of the immunocompromised child who is on their death bed due to you not protecting your healthy child against preventable deadly diseases?’

Followed by- I don’t find the death of children to diseases we can prevent funny, my laughter was based off pure shock that anyone can fall for lies, and how many parents will have to bury their children off the backs of these ridiculous conspiracy’s.

Even if it was true, one autistic child is better than several dead ones.

Pretty hard hitting, but it’s true. People die because of these decisions.