Was ibu to react like this. Should i say sorry

[Anonmummyoftwo]

Honestly it was a reaction i couldnt control. Before i could stop myself it just came out. Was waiting to lift ds5 from school today and chatting with the other mums. One said about her baby going next week for her year vaccines and another mum jumped in and said your really shouldnt my ds never got any of his because her sisters friends dd caught autism from them. Before i could stop myself i let out a laugh and said oh for god sake are you serious. I said you cant catch autism first off and second that bloody crap about the vaccine causing autism has been proven to be a load of crap. She tried to argue her point but i just said look im not listening and went in got my ds and left. A few mums agreed with me but this mum has just messaged me saying shes upset at how i acted and would like me to say sorry infront of the other mums at drop off in the morning. I told her im sorry for upsetting you but i wont say sorry at the school because i think shes being a fool. This is a grown woman whos at least 30 and truthfully i did think she was a smart woman till that. Do people really still think you can "catch" autism from a vaccine

This thread will turn into a vaccine bunfight, but before it does I'll add that if the topic of conversation was white bread vs brown bread then your handling of it could have been better, yes.

You can disagree without scorning or humiliating.

I think I would be happy to apologize for walking off explaining that you find people pushing such dangerous and ill informed decisions very upsetting.

Tell her you are not a naughty schoolgirl and she is not a teacher who can make you apologise in front of the whole class. Then block her.

No don't apologize. If she's had her kid around unvaccinated babies (for example the one whose mother was there) then she should be apologizing for risking passing them a life changing illness.

Anti-vaxxers do deserve short shrift, as a PP said, it is a ridiculous point of view that shouldn't be entertained or given equal hearing to actual science. And what they are doing is causing actual harm to children, which is a hell of a lot worse than scoffing a bit.

Anyone who would actually stand in a playground urging parents not to vaccinate their children deserves any rudeness that comes their way.

By that measure I don’t think you owe her an apology at all. I can understand apologising to smooth things over, but I’d personally regard that as fairly generous of you. She’s an ignorant fool.

Don't apologise OP, the said mum was quick enough to jump in and say her piece of misinformed clap trap, and now she wants an apology?

Tell her to get educated and trot on.

Stick to your guns I'm proud of you for putting her right. The red mist would have descended if she had said this to me.

When it comes to anti vaxers she would have been upset if you had listened politely and then politely told her you did not agreed. There is no good way to deal with these awful people. There is no rationale, so actually the more of think about it - you reacted in the best possible way ever.

Anti - vaxer conversations are not the same as having a polite reasoned disagreement, with another sensible person. Anti-vaxers are fundamentalists who are totally and unequivocally responsible for bringing awful historic diseases back to life.

Well done to you, these mums are mental and are putting other kids lives at risk as well as their own.

Do not say sorry. I wouldn't give her anymore air time for her uneducated views on vaccines. Silly women is scaring other parents.

Tell her you'll say sorry when she can provide conclusive proof of a link between vaccines and autism.

Don't apologize. More people need to speak out when they hear this bullshit bandied about.

It sounds like you were quite rude. Personally I think it was justified but yeah, you were rude.

But she’s clearly batshit insane. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, you had been really rude about my new hairstyle in front of others. If I then messaged you saying that I would like you to apologise on the corner of Thompson and Wallace streets, in the presence of Lucy, Cathy and Sue you’d think I was nutty, right?

I think you should apologize for embarrassing her like that. You've obviously hurt her feelings and your reaction seemed rather bitchy.

Obviously totally agree with your point but there are nicer ways of voicing your opinion than the way that you did

Personally I’d relish the opportunity for a second round with her desired audience. I’d apologise if she found the tone terse but it’s hard to stand by while ordinary women offer dangerous unscientific advice, spreading lies and disinformation, that causes innocent children to DIE.

“Children needlessly dying makes me a bit shouty. Sorry about that.”

I think you should apologize for embarrassing her like that.

Maybe so, but should it be at the time and place of the apologee’s choosing? Should Ms Anti-Vaxx also determine the wording of the apology? Will OP get a script? What if Sally is looking the other way during the apology, or Jane’s playing on her phone? Will it still count?

Don’t apologise. People like her are the reason these illnesses are coming back!

‘I’m sorry you’re so stupid’

That ought to do it.

Only apologise for what you said if she apologises for being a twat.

I am normally pretty careful to be polite, even anxious not to misspeak.

But imo, confidently asserted anti-vax opinions are so dangerous and infuriating that they fall into a category where rudeness and scorn are utterly justified.

Just like if someone was spouting blatantly prejudiced views - I’d feel no obligation to be polite to them either. These are issues where people’s safety and lives are at stake, fgs. Anger is an appropriate reaction. It’s not rude to shut down dangerous BS.

I think you should apologize for embarrassing her like that. You've obviously hurt her feelings

She should be embarrassed.

You were totally right to laugh and not apologise. People talking that sort of crap need to be shot down in flames every time. Babies and children will die of that type of ignorance.

Your point valid. The way u said it was not nice. She can have her opinion and you yours it's not nice to laugh and tell her you are not listening to her in front of other mums. Surely u know that. For the record her point was laughable obviously u cant catch autism from vaccines but grown ups know it's not nice to laugh at people who have a different view from us. Apologise. Just to stop it being awkward of nothing else.

Well she's had her apology over the phone. If it were me that would be the best she'd get.

Or you could say you'll apologise then say, in front of everybody 'X, I said I would apologise to you so ... I am sorry you are so uninformed about vaccinations. Here's a link to some reading material'.

YANBU. Don’t apologise. She’s an idiot, and should feel embarrassed!

Do people really still believe this shit?!

Do not apologise. Anti vaxxers are bloody idiots and need to be told

Exactly