Was ibu to react like this. Should i say sorry

[Anonmummyoftwo]

Honestly it was a reaction i couldnt control. Before i could stop myself it just came out. Was waiting to lift ds5 from school today and chatting with the other mums. One said about her baby going next week for her year vaccines and another mum jumped in and said your really shouldnt my ds never got any of his because her sisters friends dd caught autism from them. Before i could stop myself i let out a laugh and said oh for god sake are you serious. I said you cant catch autism first off and second that bloody crap about the vaccine causing autism has been proven to be a load of crap. She tried to argue her point but i just said look im not listening and went in got my ds and left. A few mums agreed with me but this mum has just messaged me saying shes upset at how i acted and would like me to say sorry infront of the other mums at drop off in the morning. I told her im sorry for upsetting you but i wont say sorry at the school because i think shes being a fool. This is a grown woman whos at least 30 and truthfully i did think she was a smart woman till that. Do people really still think you can "catch" autism from a vaccine

[MrsNotNice]

I think your approach was rude to be honest. You could’ve stated the facts without being sneery and personal. So yeh apologise for the way you came across

[cacklingmags]

Grr. First, she is as thick as mince and second, she is a self righteous
nincompoop for asking for a 'public apology'. Laugh it off and ignore her, the fool.

[Jent13c]

I never comment on other peoples parenting decisions as I know I certainly havent got it all right but I would absolutely have said something during this conversation. Send her the links to even a Wiki page about Andrew Wakefield and the original study and how bias it was. The most dangerous study ever printed in the Lancet from a doctor who as you can guess was struck off. To be honest if shes deep into anti vax conspiracy theories you are unlikely to change her mind, just hope her kids have sense to get the vaccines as soon as they can when they are adults.

[StockTakeFucks]

Are you usually such a sanctimonious butch?!

Oh no OP!!! Not a butch!!
Faints.

[dowehaveastalker]

Sounded like you wanted to make her look like an idiot - which you did. You can argue your point but state facts. No need to make her feel stupid in front of others.

[1stmonkey]

She's an idiot. Worse. A negligent idiot. The more people that point out to her how idiotic she is the quicker she'll educate herself on the matter.
Yes you could have been kind about it, but ime people who think that way generally benefit from the shock of being told plainly what most are too polite to say.

[PerkingFaintly]

How about messaging her saying you'll meet her in front of the other mums tomorrow. Don't tell her any more.

When you get there, say, "You demanded I apologise for our conversation yesterday, and do so in front of other people. Well, here's what I have to say.

"I wish I had found a kinder way to phrase it, when I was on the spot yesterday. But I stand by absolutely every word of the content of what I said. You are wrong. What's worse, you are not only endangering your child, you are trying to persuade other parents to endanger theirs. Please stop doing this. I'm sorry that it upsets you to be told you're wrong, but I'm afraid as long as you go round spreading these dangerous rumours, I'm going to carry on saying you are wrong."

[Graphista]

Peeling- spot on!

[Someonesayroadtrip]

What @PerkingFaintly said 👆

Honestly, taking out the fact she is spreading ridiculous dangerous, offensive and stupid lies. She was the one that tried to pull you up on the idea you were being naive and stupid, when you turned the table she didn't like it.

It really annoys me people who are so convinced that the world is against them they make up nonsense. I'm a mum to two boys with autism, it was there long before the vaccines. I had one child that regressed around the time of the vaccines, but there were a lot of symptoms way before that too.

[DefinitelyNOTamum]

Why should you apologise?

Her statement was incorrect and it's extremely dangerous to spread this narrative that autism is contagious.

I would be furious if someone had said that wonder what other nonsense they think.

Stick to your guns shes a dumbass

[SidekickSally]

I don't think you need this woman and her opinions in your life so I don't think you should apologise.
You did the other mums a favour by dismissing the anti-vaxxer.
I don't actually think you acted like a dick, you just stated your opinion, albeit rather directly, after she stated her opinion, very directly too.
Her views are dangerous and should be challenged.

[Bouffalant]

I'd block her.

[Cherrysoup]

Classy response, OP. Don’t respond, you’re right there. She’s talking shit, of course, the link was a total fabrication from that idiot doctor at the Royal Free, wasn’t he?

[ScrambledEggForBrains]

Good for you OP I would’ve said the same!

Stupid non-vaccinators, it wasn’t proven 19 yrs ago when my dd’s vaccinations were due but I decided I would rather she was alive with autism or Crohn’s disease than dead from measles, mumps or rubella😤

[oabiti]

Please don't apologise for telling the truth.

[x2boys]

Well.no.I don't believe vaccines cause autism but there are plenty of people on the autism Facebook groups that d,my child has severe autism he is non verbal etc he also has an underlying chromosome deletion thought to have caused his autism but I can see that it you had one child who developed autism after a vaccine why you might be anti vaccines ,my child is fully vaccinated btw .

[x2boys]

That do*

[Sewrainbow]

I would do exactly as you've done. Apologise for upsetting her but not to repeat that publicly nor engage further with her via text or face to face about vaccines in fact I'd probably give her a wide berth from now on...

[INeedAFlerken]

What Perking said. Exactly.

She is endangering her own child and others by pushing this hysteria-based nonsense.

[Timandra]

"I laughed at you yesterday because I was shocked that someone so clearly intelligent and articulate should be spouting such ill-informed and dangerous nonsense. I am sorry that my shock caused me to react in a way that embarrassed you."

[Babybel90]

Anyone with such stupid and dangerous views deserves a reaction like that to show that they’re not ok and won’t be tolerated, it would be the same reaction they’d get if they said they sincerely believed the earth was flat.

She can believe what she likes but her views deserve no respect.

[Mummyshark2018]

The other mother is ill informed.
You were rude and self-righteous.
Your friend is being precious about you apologising in front of her.

You're all acting a bit twattish. I'd just ignore.

[Mummy0ftwo12]

My two pence: the mother of two of the children from that Wakefield study posted in a mumsnet vaccine debate with a gov expert, she had a very different take on things and I can't recall ever seeing any of the parents involved in that study's opinion in the press - i have nothing but respect for her and it was heartbreaking to read of the way her children were treated afterwards and there are countless other opinions i have read from parents who believe their child's autism was caused by a vaccine, whether they are right or wrong they should have their views listened to respectfully. I personally think its highly unlikely that vaccines can trigger autism because of all of the studies done but I went for the single vaccine route because of other immune system issues. vaccines, like any other medicine they can have rare side effects and they won't be 100% effective for every child.