Parents keep baby’s sex a secret to avoid gender bias

[Doyoumind]

This story has been covered pretty widely but I don't think it's been mentioned on here.

A couple have a 17 month old who they refer to as 'they' and the couple didn't even tell family what sex the child is.

Fine, keep things gender neutral and avoid stereotypes but referring to your child only as 'they' is totally othering. They will soon hear other children being referred to differently.

Pretty soon that child will be talking. Unless it lives in a bubble and never has stories read to it that child will understand there are boys and girls and wonder which they are. They will start to realise the difference between when mummy and daddy go to the toilet, unless they are never to be seen naked. At that point they will know whether they are a boy or a girl if their parents are honest and explain the physical differences between male and female.

Their parents might be able to shield them from gender stereotypes to some extent bit they can't deny the obvious biology.

Or are they going to say only some men have penises and some women do too?

The thing I did notice on the bit of video I saw was that when the baby needed it’s nappy changing, it was the mum who leapt up to do it whilst the dad stayed sitting down smiling at the camera.

Have they got their non stereotyped parenting roles sorted?

In response to Cave Woman's reply to my message and her 2 in 10,000 statistics - not according to this article from the Journal of Endocrinal Studies - 1 in a 1,000 babies born intersex has been a pretty standard figure in research for a number of years now. www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/news/20190503/study-about-1-in-1000-babies-born-intersex

Madness. Sod gender. The child has a sex. The child should be raised to think that his or her biological sex does not affect what it can like, enjoy, study, work as, wear...

'They' is plural or sloppy English and I hate its appropriation in this way.

Without even looking at a photo, you know shes going to have dungerees on, a nose ring and a hat. They probably don't work and have tree hugging attitudes. They are setting their child up to be taunted at school - but then they probably will home school won't they? Or is this an 'unconscious bias'?? Mmmm [hmmm]

However I was lost at the very end when she said around 2/3 yrs old the child will learn what daddy has and what mummy has and can decide what they want to be.
Presumably, they will compare their wedding tackle with their parents and go "this appears to be like the thing mummy/daddy has, I must be a girl/boy like mummy/daddy". So the whole exercise will have been wasted at just the age that toys become more defined than shape sorters and alphabet blocks and some well-meaning relative sends them a blue car/pink dolly for Christmas.

It's much easier to just do as everyone else on here has done and just make sure that the child has a wide variety of toys to choose from and that relatives/shop assistants are encouraged to avoid thinking conventionally. But then, that wouldn't gain you 'wokeness points'. At the end of the day - short of emigrating to Rockall - you cannot keep society's influence away forever.

I wasn't in the least surprised to read that they were involved in Extinction Rebellion. Another load of SJWs with half-baked plans that they haven't thought through.

@cannotwaitanylonger they're circus performers and members of extinction rebellion. Oh and they live on a houseboat. Anything for attention though

They are cheating their child like an experiment

Wow I'm shocked at the bile in some of these comments, also the appalling stereotyping and prejudice! For the record, one of my children is in Extinction Rebellion and the other works in circus. They are very positive, kind and caring citizens, well-educated and responsible. As someone new to Mumsnet I'm kinda shocked.

@Jaredjadon

Assuming your post isn't a piss-take, I think you got the wrong forum... You would be more suited to net-huns...

www.netmums.com/

no I'm deadly serious. You see I joined Mumsnet because I'm a mum - are you saying this forum isn't for mothers with diverse views and life experiences? Is it just a little in crowd where big gobs decide who's in and who's out?

Explain 'nethuns'

Have some of the contributors on here never taken their children to see the circus or never been to the circus themselves? Who do you think makes circus?

I am circus, gender and nethun critical

Well it's good to know it's not an entirely circus-free zone! I was beginning to worry there! So what's 'nethun' - I don't get this?

This truly boils my piss. Idiotic people with nothing better to do. Yes I also think this equates to psychological abuse tbh

As someone new to Mumsnet I'm kinda shocked.

Stick around and I guarantee you’ll get a better education that your children can ever provide you. I’ll chuck you a rope and help pull you to the top of the mountain so you can enjoy the view from the peak.

Well it's certainly been an eye-opener so far MrGsFancyNewVagina, but thank you! I think I will stick around!

Mumsnet is all about being judgemental and rude. Welcome!

Yeah mn is very critical and judgemental.

It pretty much is no hold backs

If you want less of it, join netmums

Mumsnet is all about being judgemental and rude. Welcome!
Correction: MN is a massive site with a range of women from different backgrounds and with different experiences. These women sometimes have a range opinions on things and they disagree, but that's ok because we are no longer in the 50s where women have to sit nicely and not speak. Sometimes these women even manage to talk about topics other than nappies and sleep training.

I wouldn’t be here if all the women were still following their female socialisation and playing nice. shudder

These women sometimes have a range opinions on things and they disagree, but that's ok

That's what you call telling a new user to go to a different forum if they don't like the intolerance shown in this thread?

I'd say that's the opposite of it being ok to disagree.