Parents keep baby’s sex a secret to avoid gender bias

[Doyoumind]

This story has been covered pretty widely but I don't think it's been mentioned on here.

A couple have a 17 month old who they refer to as 'they' and the couple didn't even tell family what sex the child is.

Fine, keep things gender neutral and avoid stereotypes but referring to your child only as 'they' is totally othering. They will soon hear other children being referred to differently.

Pretty soon that child will be talking. Unless it lives in a bubble and never has stories read to it that child will understand there are boys and girls and wonder which they are. They will start to realise the difference between when mummy and daddy go to the toilet, unless they are never to be seen naked. At that point they will know whether they are a boy or a girl if their parents are honest and explain the physical differences between male and female.

Their parents might be able to shield them from gender stereotypes to some extent bit they can't deny the obvious biology.

Or are they going to say only some men have penises and some women do too?

Are you daft? Do you think that no one abuses anyone? Seriously do you?

And you're a teacher? In safeguarding?

Agree with everyone who says it's ridiculous.

I've said before I totally believe this craze of refusing to acknowledge gender related to sex anatomically is damaging.

Whether it's ignoring gender or getting children of 3/4/5+ to question gender because they choose a certain toy or activity.
How does asking a girl who likes football and transport vehicles to question if they identify as a boy or girl help to quell the gender stereotype that those are 'boys toys' imo it reinforces it. Just let them play with what they want and engage in the play - NOT the item.

Same for uniforms. More and more schools are insisting on straight pleat front trousers, shirt to collar, tie and blazer on the basis its gender neutral. Except it's not. And why aren't they insisting on a gender neutral uniform if ling ankle skirt, open neck blouse and v neck jumper for all?
We cannot escape and ignore the fact straight legged pleated clothes were designed for the Male sex and expect the female sex who are biologically and anatomically different to wear the same clothes and them look the same.

What toilets should the child use at school! How will they address Male sex using a urinal and standing V female sex sitting.

Why can't we just acknowledge biology and tell people they can be and do whatever they want/ whoever they are?
Teach more acceptance of diversity rather than teaching more labels.

Tiresiasmum why are you publishing American writings? Since considering simply asking a trans person who identifies as female why they’re in a female only space is considered ‘virtual violence’, I’m not persuaded by the ‘verbal abuse’ statistics.

I just thought it was interesting. Most of the debates about toilets have happened in the US so that's where the more extensive research has been done. This seems to address a few issues.

I thought it was completely pointless and don’t understand why you have wasted time on that, instead of researching the assaults on women and children by males who identify as women. Since you’re so into safeguarding, I would have thought that was of equal importance. Or are the most oppressed ever, more important to you?

But why would anyone ask anyone why they're in a toilet? Isn't it rude and intrusive to do this to someone? Someonone's nipping into a cubicle or doing their make-up in a mirror and someone suddenly asks why they're in there? I would find that insulting, and yes I might consider it harrassing. I guess for many trans people, particularly if they don't 'pass' in their gender presentation, it takes courage to walk out in public. Being challenged about their gender identity (a difficult issue) by a complete stranger when going to the loo - which is an intimate thing, and still pretty taboo for many people to talk about - and held up from using the loo by having to talk to said stranger is something I think most people would feel upset by. If women have such a fear of another person being in a toilet with them when that person has made no indication they are going to assault them but is just getting on with using the facilities, perhaps they need to work on their own fear of public space and heal their trauma, not take it out on a stranger who is possibly more vulnerable than them. Perhaps take a self-defence class or something? Either way, bad experience isn't an excuse to confront others unecessarily.

Sorry you didn't find the article useful - you asked for statistics, I gave you statistics.

If women have such a fear of another person being in a toilet with them when that person has made no indication they are going to assault them but is just getting on with using the facilities, perhaps they need to work on their own fear of public space and heal their trauma

Got it. In other words, Women get over it, male bodied peoples’ needs to be validated as transwomen are more important than your history of sexual or physical abuse at the hands of other males. You’ve really done well with the training your overlords have given you. They must be so proud of you. Women need to centre the feelings of males.

Either way, bad experience isn't an excuse to confront others unecessarily.

Either way, bad experience isn't an excuse to tell women to get over their trauma and move over.

I don't get what you mean by 'overlords'??

not take it out on a stranger who is possibly more vulnerable than them.

How in the name of God is a a biological male going to be more vulnerable than a woman?

Perhaps take a self-defence class or something?

Yes, indeed. Perhaps that is something trans women should consider. Although I would argue that provision of a third space for transpeople is a better option in the first instance than having to take self defence courses to repel people men who would attack them.