If your friend has a skill that could help you, would you expect to pay full price?

[thisusernameismine]

Not sure if this has been talked about before - but in short, a friend of mine (known for many many years but see each other only annually as on opposite sides of the world) has become a life coach in the last couple of years. The friend does talk about it often when we meet and I'm very proud of how she's made a success of a new career.

I'm at the end of mat leave and feeling in a bit of a rut in terms of my career - I feel it's a dead end job and I'd love to completely change what I do for a living but have a big inner critic (this is my main issue and the kind of problem my friend specialises in). I shared this with my friend and asked her if she thought coaching me could work given we know each other so well. I fully expect to pay as it's her business, but my DH is outraged that I'm being charged full price for the exploratory session. The coaching packages are a little extortionate so I'm not sure if I could afford them anyway (mat leave pay!) but possibly could just about pay for the smallest programme.

Just interested in others' opinions as my Dh's is so different from mine. He said if a good friend of his had a skill, they would never charge him as it's only 1-3 hours I'm being offered so in his opinion, hardly damaging for her business. I'm not sure whether to go ahead now

Yes you should pay. Unless you have another skill to trade and she agrees.

I guess it also depends on what you do. I could fill my days doing friends' websites and social media and getting paid feck all. But I have to actually get paid properly for most of my work so I can pay for things like food and bills and DD's college and put something into my pension.

I've done several websites for charities or the local community - no problem there.

I most certainly wouldn't charge a friend I was providing a service for and would feel hurt if I were charged in the same situation but then I do need to stop hoping others will do as I do!

You were right the 1st time.

This is her business not a hobby. I also highly doubt your DH would agree to work for 1-3 hours for free so he's talking tosh.

That mindset always infuriates me.

Just because someone is your friend does not mean you get everything for free.

Even if it is not material goods you're paying for, you are still paying for her time and professional opinion and those are just as valuable and if she wasn't with you she would be with a paying customer.

If you can't afford her you could invite her over for a nice meal and say: I can't afford to employ you but I would love to cook for you and run something past you as a friend. I'm not looking for a freebie just some friendly advice. She can only say no?

It's difficult because you are friends and that's all you need... some friendly advice.

I have family who are self-employed and charge full price for anyone except immediate family. But I charge less for tutoring friends' DC than I do others. So I think it depends - if it's her actual business/job then it is full price but if it's a hobby/extra spends money I'd hope for mates rates.

I think that your oh being a contractor is possibly giving him a different view of it. His occupation is the type where he has lots of friends and acquaintances in trades who could do favours for each other quite often so very different to the work of a life coach.

You should definitely expect to pay the usual price-

Yes I would expect to be charged full price. benefit of using someone you know is that they are reliable and good. Many people offer a discount to friends and family but I wouldn't 'expect' it.
Also - such discounts can become difficult in the future.
For example, a friend of mine heavily discounts my legal fees but I then feel uncomfortable asking her to make amendments etc that I would ask a regular solicitor to do because I feel she is already doing me a favour!
My final insight (as a coach myself) would be its nit a great idea to be coached by a friend anyway, you are better with a 3rd party - after all you haven't had a session yet and its already causing issues.

@LellyMcKelly - totally agree with you. OP, You need impartiality. Anything else I think “mates rates” only apply where both people are self employed and probably work in the same industry so give work to each other. Get a list from your GP if you can.

I'd expect to pay and insist upon it. Just as if my friend was a decorator I wouldn't expect them to come wallpaper my hallway for free, even if it did take only a few hours, nor would I expect a gardening friend to come and mow my lawn for free.

No idea what your husband is thinking other than being a free loader.

Ni definitely not, she's your friend and could talk to you about n her free time. Half price mac, you shouldn’t make a profit out of your friends

I wouldn’t ask a friend to do this kind of work with me. I think her vision may become clouded because of her inner knowledge of you, don’t you think?
I wouldn’t expect a discount, it’s her living!
Have you thought that if you did go ahead with her, her knowledge of you may make the process shorter? Do you pay hourly or just a one off? Hourly would mean you’re already getting a discount as she won’t need to keep you the full time?