He read my messages!

[GraceIsAce]

Hi! Can you help me cause it's caused a big argument with my BF.

I've been with my BF about 1 year and I thought everything was going fine. But the other day he told me he went through my phone and read my messages! He got all upset cause about 2 weeks after we got together I had sex with someone else but we weren't properly together then so I don't know why he got so upset. He found some messages talking about it and now he knows and he's all cross with me. But we weren't even together and he doesn't understand me.

Anyway I am annoyed cause he looked at my phone so AIBU?

OP do you mean you nothing was made official with your now BF before you slept with the other guy? If so, I personally see nothing wrong with that. Your BF shouldn't have gone through your phone unless you've maybe given him reason to...?

I don't really understand about things being made official. I don't know anyone that does that. What do you say?

wow some of you are really mean

Ask him what made him snoop in the first place. Bare in mind if your both so young he could be doing it out of a guilty conscience himself. Talk to him about it. If you don’t think it’s going to be something you can move past then move on.

Jesus some posters.

OP you're not a slag. Or salad as my phone will insist on correcting it to.

Did you explain to your now DP about you two not being exclusive?
Have you asked why he checked your phone?

Fuck sake, stop calling her a slag, she was 2 weeks into an unofficial relationship.
Some posters 🙄

Oh wow. I was saying YABU in that I understand him being pissed off if you were sleeping with them both at the same time. But that does NOT make you a slag, which is a horrible term to use. Ignore that, OP. You sleep with whomever you like, but just saying that's why he's pissed off. He was obviously assuming that, if you were sleeping with him, you were exclusive. I'd have made the same assumption. But you're not a slag and he should not have read your messages. He obviously has trust issues if he felt the need to snoop so I'd run a mile now.

Well, the trust has now gone from both sides, so you probably want to think long and hard about whether this is a relationship worth continuing.

Firstly, ive reported the appalling use of such a misogynistic word. Hang your head in shame.

Secondly, youd met him three times? Fuck that shit. People who are serious about a man after three dates are being ridiculous. Of course you're still dating at that stage, and nobody said exclusively.

I do have a massive issue with why you still have the messages though.

And why he just now went through your phone. What prompted that?

whats he like normally? What are you like normally?

And 19 is far too young to be this stressed in a relationship. Spend more time with girl friends than a boyfriend. Build a strong
Support network.

Wow!!! A slag???? Is this 1950? She has a few dates with guy A and guy B at the same time. Once she started seeing guy A more frequently she stopped seeing the other guy and hasn’t since. Sounds pretty normal to me!

You do not sound compatible at ALL.

You sound like you don't care about him much.

He sounds like he doesn't trust you an INCH.

I had been dating my (now) husband for just under 3 weeks, (and had seen him 6 -7 times,) and one night I went out clubbing with 2 mates (without him.)

When a bloke started coming onto me real bad in a club, I pushed him away and said 'I am taken!' Yep even after 19 days of dating. Would never have DREAMT of shagging another bloke.

This is Jeremy Kyle fodder.

Shame it's finished.

I like the bitching about him reading the messages.
How many posts have I read in the last month where no comments are made about posters reading DH / OH / DP / DC messages for whatever or even no reason???

Can some grab @bluegirlgreen a medal?

@Grumpyunleashed thats why i asked what promoted the reading the messages

I’ve reported both you disgusting posters for using such a revolting misogynistic insult towards the OP.

OP, you’re a young woman with a long future ahead of you. Personally I’d dump the little git, for snooping though my phone. Even people in long term relationships are entitled to privacy. You deserve better.

Fucking hell. You're only 19. There's obviously already trust issues between you and he's going through your phone. Sack it off, it's a recipe for disaster already and you're still young.

Wow this is a mess

The simple answer is this relationship is not going to work. Your 19. Move on.

@C0untDucku1a

ODFOD! I am entitled to post my fucking views.

Just jog on mate!

I’m assuming they were dating but not exclusive. And it was a year ago! He must’ve gone through your entire phone to dig that up! I’d be wondering what he has on his phone and whether or not he’s projecting. Because you don’t suddenly become suspicious of someone you’ve been in a relationship for a year unless you’ve done something or he’s done something.

Wtf am I reading? She owed him nothing, they’d been on three dates by the sounds of things, hardly an exclusive relationship. They were casually dating not exclusively together therefore she can sleep with whoever she wants!! She hasn’t cheated at all don’t be ridiculous, going on three dates with someone does not make a relationship fgs.

@Bbang You are reading peoples varying opinions ...

And SHOCKER, they are not all going to be the same as YOURS.

Neither of you should have acted as you did.

I am, however, surprised at the response here as there is another thread at the moment where a mum has learned that her daughter cheated on her boyfriend of a few months by having a ONS and most posters have supported the daughter and said that she basically did nothing wrong 🤷🏼‍♀️

Alright shouty capitals @bluegirlgreen it’s not that deep, chill 😂😂😂