AIBU to think teachers should be respectful to pupils?

[mammaplay]

DS 11 has just started secondary school. He has mild SEN needs which the school are aware of (effects speed of work and presentation).
Today in front of the class, the maths teacher screwed up his worksheet, threw it in the bin and simply handed him a new worksheet (with no verbal communication) as he'd made a minor mistake in not leaving enough space on the page.
AIBU to think this type of behaviour from teachers is a bit 'old school' and unnecessary, or am I being completely precious about my little snowflake?

No precious at all.

If adults want respect, they need to offer it.
When adults treat children respectfully, they teach children how to relate, be heard, & give courtesy in return.

What did this teacher think your son was going to learn from their abrupt & unmannerly conduct, I wonder?

YANBU - that sounds like an embarrassing way for a teacher to correct a mistake.

Speak to the school and ask how it happened (I'm not suggesting it didn't, just that there might be more to the situation - or the teacher might just be a dong). I don't think it's precious to expect a teacher not to behave like a toddler, though (and I teach Reception, so am absolutely not in the habit of bashing teachers).

YANBU. It didn’t work when I was at school and it won’t work now

None of us were there and it depends how it was done, but on the whole YABU.
I often say to my 5 year old pupils “Ahh, you’ve started in the wrong place - oh do you know what, have a new sheet” and chucked the other.
However if it was in anger and your ds had worked hard for an hour on it...maybe unreasonable. Although even then, might be a bit harsh, but your ds does need to listen to and follow instruction.
Don’t see how the mild SEN is relevant unless he has trouble following instructions?

Yeah that’s a really shitty way to treat any child. All it takes is a brief explanation of what they need to correct.

Sorry just seen it could affect presentation, so it is relevant, apologies.

YANBU

I’m sorry but it depends on the child. You are correct in that it should be that way and that is not good from a teacher. However it goes both ways and to be honest the respect children show is appalling. I had a child walk out of class without permission she was 7

Oh and another child refused to sit down so in my opinion you are being unreasonable.

@mammaplay

I doubt there was no explanation.

We don’t foster a sense of respect by coming down to the level of being disrespectful ourselves, so YANBU.

It depends. From what you have said, the teacher was rude. Did you get the full story?

If a child had been messing around/talking/not listening when instructions were given out and messed up the paper or if they doodled/scribbled on it I might take it off them without a word, point at what was wrong and give them another sheet to show my annoyance. Sometimes words aren't needed.

‘Respectful’ is a word with a host of nuance and meaning attached to it. What do you think the teacher should have done rather than binning the (incorrect) work with as little wasted time as possible?

Nuances, should say.

I would contact the school and see what the teacher has to say. If it happened as he said, ask her not to do this in future as he finds it upsetting and you want him to enjoy being at school.

Depends how done. I would take a sheet and give a fresh one if the kid needs more room or has filled in a graph incorrectly etc. It might have been a simple replacement rather than the teacher showing annoyance

Respect is a two way street. I was always taught that if you want to be respected you have to be respectful of others. Unfortunately there are some people who believe a certain job title or position of power command respect regardsless of how they treat others.
I was lucky to have very good teachers apart from one who though she was god and when I called her out on it I was lucky to have the support of the head of year and the headteacher. Unfortunately there are arseholes in all walks of life and teaching is no exception.

Marinetta

To some extent respect is a two way street, but I don’t believe there is a situation where it is appropriate for you a child to tell a teacher that they think they are god. The teacher leads the classroom, and yes, should be courteous to the students, but it sounds more like you expected a peer relationship, and called it ‘a two way street’.

Be very sure it happened that way. DH was hauled up to the head once for (allegedly) ripping pages out of a child's maths book and screwing them up in front of the class. He was told to apologise to the child. It was all quietly dropped when he brought the said book and an identical unused exercise book from the store cupboard and asked for the pages to be counted.

I remember his angst and days of self-doubt, "Am I losing it? How could I have done that and have no recollection of it?" Child had recruited three buddies to say it had happened and they'd all witnessed it. Nobody was ever asked to apologise to him.

If it happened exactly as described and there's nothing else relevant to the situation that's been missed and there is no exaggeration then the teacher was in the wrong.

More often than not in these situations there's some more to it. Maybe call the teacher for a chat and find out what's going on in an open minded manner.

‘Respectful’ is a word with a host of nuance and meaning attached to it.
Quite. And on MN often people seem to think it's conditional rather than showing basic human respect from which that more personal relationship respect can develop.

The fact is that some teachers are bloody awful and should not be doing that job. Some of them can't be bothered.

YANBU op

If I were you I would complain in writing to school, especially if your son has SEN. Humiliating him is NOT ok.

If he didn't have enough room to answer the questions then a replacement sheet was necessary. It wasn't a punishment really was it? If you said the teacher popped the sheet in the recycling rather than he screwed it up and threw it, the whole situation seems less fraught. Nobody got shouted at or told off. The teacher was fixing a problem.

I am so confused as to why anyone is suggesting this teacher shouldn’t be a teacher because he screwed up a piece of incorrect paper? A worksheet, not a picture of the child’s unhappily departed grandparent. A worksheet, which just hadn’t been completed right. Nobody has said he or she snatched it, the child wasn’t told off.

This isn’t an expectation of respect, but of an inappropriate level of deference from adult to child.

“You did it wrong - here’s another one.”

I am lost as to the issue.

Yanbu.

There should be absolute certainly from a teacher that a child's work is not of standard due to deliberate laziness before they take that action.

But I doubt in 99% of cases it is.

There should be absolute certainly from a teacher that a child's work is not of standard due to deliberate laziness before they take that action.

Why? If it’s wrong it needs to be re-done. Where are you suggesting the piece of paper should go? How about lovingly pressing it into a book of the child’s best memories?

Oh wait, there’s a recycling bin for stuff we don’t need over there...